AGW LETHAL LOTTERY San Antonio, Texas April 10, 1999 (The opening chords of "Rusty Cage" by Soundgarden play over the dark screen...as three little words flash to open up the show... ANYTHING.... GOES........ WRESTLING... The highlight show lights up the screen...Terrance M. Garvin executing the Lithium on some hapless jobber...Generation X standing in the ring over the the bodies of Alex Star and Gryphon...Brad Steel and Doomsday duking it out...Father Arson praying in the chapel...Mark Paris and Shawn Michaels getting into a shoving match...Alex Star executing the Ligerbomb on Skull Ganz...the Heartless Ones holding up the Anything Goes Tag Titles...Most Holy, Harmonium Zipporath, and Erik Moon standing on a rooftop...The Legendary Pretty Boys brawling with Big and Smooth...Bill Goldberg executing the Jackhammer onto a chair on Alex Star...Gryphon and Paris brawling with each other...Joshua gardner laying into Gryphon...G-Force standing in the ring...Quackman giving the sign for the Corporate Elbow...and finally Gryphon standing on the second turnbuckle, holding up the World Title... The screen explodes with the words... Anything Goes Wrestling presents.... THE LETHAL LOTTERY!!!!! The scene fades in on the sold out arena in San Antonio...after scanning the capacity crowd for a minute, we cut to Tony Schiavone and Lord Zoltan, sitting at the broadcast table.) Tony Schiavone: WE.....ARE....LIVE!!! From the sold-out AlamoDome in San Antonio, Texas, where Anything Goes Wrestling presents THE LETHAL LOTTERY! Thank you for joining us this evening, folks. I'm Tony Schiavone, and with me at this time is my tag team partenr, a man who's name is revered in bingo halls and county fairs all across this great country, the one and only Lord Zoltan! Lord Zoltan: Hiya kids. Tony: We're very happy to be with you this evening, fans. We've got a great show for you tonight; PPV as only the AGW can do it! However, before we begin, I want to apologise to all the great AGW fans for the...uh..."incident" that took place the last time we were with you. I can personally guarentee that absolutely NO overweight website designers have been invited to tonight's show! Especially not through the back door. If Sean Shannon or anybody else of his...uh...stature..wants to attend, they'll have to buy a ticket just like everybody else. Zoltan: That's good to know. Alright, down to business...and there's plent of business to be taken care of. We've got a jam packed show for you tonight! Each and every title in the AGW will be on the line! Some of them more then once! Both sets of tag team titles are up for grabs as the Anything Goes Tag Team Champions, The Heartless Ones, duke it out wiht the "Corporate" World Tag Team Champions, the Legendary Pretty Boys, in a Title vs. Title match! Tony: Plus, the 7-time Cruiserweight Champion, the legendary Most Holy, will defend against the hottest up-and-coming cruiserweight in the AGW...Deathwish! That's gonna be a great match, folks! And then, we have the Lethal Lottery itself... Zoltan: That's right, 64 teams, put together at random, will face off in a huge tournament! And at stake are shots at almost every AGW Title...including the coveted World Heavyweight Title, currently held by the ICON, Gryphon. But will Gryphon be the champ by the end of the show? Tony: That's what we're about to find out, your Lordship. Because in an unprecedented move, we're actual ly going to OPEN the show with the first of two match-ups for the World Title! Gryphon is going to defend his title against the man he defeated for the belt at Corporate Pursuit, Mark Paris! Zoltan: Gryphon ended Paris' record-breaking run with the World Title at Corporate Pursuit, but the match wasn't without controversy. Paris claimed that he was injured in an expolsion earlier in the show, and was not at 100% when he met the ICON in the main event. Tonight, neither man will have an excuse...unless you count the blindfold thing.. Tony: That's right...Gryphon demanded that this match be a BLINDFOLD MATCH...for reasons known only to himself. Zoltan: He's probably just a big Jake Roberts fan. In any case, this crowd is hyped for the show... (The camera cuts to shots of the ringside crowd, where a huge group of DoM fans have hung a "FEAR OUR MEDIOCRITY" banner over the guardrail. A couple seats down, a man (presumably) is seen waering a trenchcoat and a big, floppy hat.) Zoltan: Uh-oh...looks like we've got ourselves a flasher. Better call security.. Tony: Yeah, we wouldn't want some sicko to interrupt the GREATEST OPENING TITLE MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!! Zoltan: You can't help it, can you? Alright, enough talk...let's get this show on the road! This contest is a No-countout, No DQ, No time limit Blindfold Match scheduled for one fall. It is for the AGW World Heavywight Title. (The crowd gives a lecherous pop as Corporate Commissioner Jenna Jameson slinks down to ringside.) Jenna Jameson: And now...the moment you've all been waiting for! The moment when Gryphon's joke of a title reign finally comes to an end! Ladies and gentlemen, the true wrestling ICON, Speed Racer, proudly presents the man who's gonna make it happen! Tonight, he's led to the ring by Rachel Morris....he hails from Cleveland, Ohio, and weighs in tonight at a rock hard 237lbs! Lades and gentlemen, your next World Heavyweight Champion... "THE HARDCORE REVOLUTIONARY" MARK PARIS!!!! (The lights dim, blue strobes cover the arena floor, and "The Great American Nightmare" by Rob Zombie and Howard Stern blasts over the speakers. A tidal wave of boos goes through the crowd as Rachel Morris leads Mark Paris down to the ring...by the hand. He's already wearing the blindfold hood, and seems to be having some trouble navigating. Jenna slides out of the ring to join the commentary team.) Tony: Well, Miss Jameson, would you mind explaining why Paris is already wearing the hood? Zoltan: Shut up...Miss Jameson, it is truly an honor to be sitting next to a film star of your magnitude. I've seen all your movies...many, many times.. Tony: Oh please... Jenna: Well, it's great to be here, Zolty. Can I call you Zolty? Zoltan: Call me whatever you want.... Jenna: And Tony, Mr. Paris has been in intensive training for this match. He's been wearing that hood for the last 24 hours, and has sworn that he won't remove it until he regains the title that was STOLEN from him at Corporate Pursuit! Tony: Then he's gonna have some problems if he comes up short here. If he wants that title back, he'll have to go through the ICON to get it! (Dave Penzer steps into the ring.) Dave Penzer: And his opponent... (The crowd comes to it's feet as heavy metal music blasts over the speakers...) Penzer: Hailing from Parts Unknown, and weighing in at 360lbs...here is the AGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.... "THE ICON"....GRYPHON!!!! (Gryphon makes his way down to the ring to a standing ovation. Referee Michael Kwoleck places a hood over his head.) Tony: Looks like we're about to get this underway... The bell rings. The match begins. Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris. Gryphon is getting closer. Zoltan: Hopefully the match is gonna get better then this.... Gryphon bumps into Mark Paris. Gryphon hits Mark Paris. Gryphon hits Mark Paris. Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a chokeslam. Gryphon kicks Mark Paris. Gryphon punches Mark Paris. Zoltan: Hey Tony, you might actually be able to call this one. Tony: Yeah, I think I just might be...HEY! Mark Paris begs off. Gryphon hits Mark Paris. Gryphon gets a chokehold on Mark Paris. Mark Paris is valiantly trying to break the hold. Mark Paris is inching his way towords the ropes. Mark Paris breaks the hold after 22 seconds. Mark Paris backs away from Gryphon. Tony: And the World Champion comes on strong in the early going. Jenna, your man seems to be in trouble... Jenna: Looks can be decieving Tony. The Corporate Champ has the situation under control... Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris. Jenna: See? He can't hit what he can't find! The crowd yells out Mark Paris' location. Jenna: DAMMIT! Gryphon is almost there. Gryphon bumps into Mark Paris. Gryphon hits Mark Paris. Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a forearm. Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a body slam. Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a back suplex. Gryphon is going for the pin. Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, kickout. Mark Paris tries to back away from Gryphon, but gets caught. Gryphon hits a Hotshot on Mark Paris Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a kick. Gryphon hits Mark Paris. The crowd is behind Gryphon all the way. Jenna: Bunch of ingrates.... Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a fisherman suplex. Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, kickout. Gryphon puts Mark Paris in a choke-lift. Mark Paris tries to fight the pain. Mark Paris is almost gone. Michael Kwoleck checks his arm. He lifts it...it falls. He lifts it...it falls. Rachel Morris enters the ring and nails Gryphon. Gryphon lets go of the hold after 29 seconds. Tony: Well, I'll admit I wanted to see Gryphon win this thing...but even I didn't think it would be this easy. Paris isn't even trying. Jenna: Well...well...the, uh...blindfold...is obviously cutting off his oxygen! Yeah, that's it! Hey ref, check the hood! Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris. Mark Paris bumps into Gryphon. Zoltan: And Paris with his first offense of the night! Sort of... Gryphon hits Mark Paris. The crowd explodes. Gryphon chops Mark Paris. Gryphon kicks Mark Paris. Mark Paris tries to run away, but gets caught. Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a back suplex. Gryphon whips Mark Paris into the turnbuckle. Gryphon charges in with a forearm. Gryphon hits Mark Paris with a Tombstone. Gryphon nails Mark Paris with an elbowdrop. A large "Gryphon" chant is being started. Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a knee to the back. Gryphon executes a backbreaker on Mark Paris. Gryphon uses a forearm smash on Mark Paris. Gryphon hits Mark Paris with a clothesline. Mark Paris falls out of the ring. Tony: This is getting ridiculous. Paris has mounted no offense whatsoever... Jenna: I'm telling you, there's something wrong with the hood... Tony: Don't give me that! Now that I think about it...there's something strange about Paris... Jenna: I think you're seeing things, fat boy... Zoltan: Heads up folks...we've got company... (A wane of boos go through the crowd as Corporate members Joshua Gardner, Ricky Thompson, and Goldberg come down to ringside. Meanwhile, Ash Tre, the Godfather, and Hollywood Fenris form a human barricade at the entrance. Joshua Gardner throws Mark Paris back into the ring. Tony: Ok, I want to know what the hell's going on around here? Jenna: Geez, don't be so paranoid, fatty. The Corporation just offered to provide some security for this match. We don't want anyone interupting this 4 star classic, do we? Tony: And why are all of Paris' buddies actually down at ringside now? Jenna: They're...uh...checking for plastic explosives. You can't be too careful. Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris. Mark Paris begs off. The crowd yells out Mark Paris' location. Gryphon bumps into Mark Paris. Gryphon chops Mark Paris. The crowd erupts. Gryphon kicks Mark Paris. Gryphon hits Mark Paris with a hiptoss. Gryphon has the crowd going wild. Gryphon gets a bearhug on Mark Paris. Mark Paris is struggling to reach the ropes. Ricky Thompson enters the ring and nails Gryphon. Tony: Aw, come on! I thought these guys were looking for bombs... Zoltan: You believed that? God, what a moron... Ricky Thompson slaps Gryphon. Gryphon tries to shove Ricky Thompson, but he gets out of the way. Ricky Thompson hits Gryphon with a low blow. Ricky Thompson takes Gryphon down with a piledriver. Ricky Thompson puts Mark Paris on top of Gryphon. Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, shoulder up. Ricky Thompson leaves the ring. Mark Paris backs away from Gryphon. Tony: I don't get it? Paris is acting like he's scared of Gryphon... Jenna: He's just picking his shots, chubby. Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris. Joshua Gardner enters the ring and lays out Gryphon. Gryphon tries to hit Joshua Gardner, but he ducks out of the way. Joshua Gardner pushes Gryphon into Mark Paris. Mark Paris takes Gryphon down with a DDT. Zoltan: And Paris with a VERY sloppy DDT for his first offensive move of the night! Gryphon gets right back up. Zoltan: Well...I didn't say it was GOOD offense... Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a faceslam. Gryphon puts Mark Paris in a chokehold. Gryphon lets go after 11 seconds. Gryphon executes a power bomb on Mark Paris. Bill Goldberg enters the ring and nails Gryphon with a spear. Bill Goldberg puts Mark Paris on top of Gryphon. Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, KICKOUT! Gryphon executes a roundhouse right on Mark Paris. Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a belly-to-belly suplex. Gryphon goes for the pin. Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, Joshua Gardner makes the save. Tony: This is getting ridiculous. It's four on one in there! Zoltan: Five on one...you forgot Rachel. Tony: No I didn't. Paris is the only one who isn't doing any damage to the Champ. Gryphon bumps into Mark Paris. Gryphon hits a headbutt on Mark Paris. Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a gorilla press. Ricky Thompson comes from behind, but Gryphon nails Ricky Thompson. Gryphon sets Mark Paris up for the Cliff Hanger. The crowd is behind Gryphon all the way. Joshua Gardner and Bill Goldberg enter the ring and attack Gryphon. They throw Gryphon out of the ring. Joshua Gardner whips Gryphon into the ringpost. Bill Goldberg hits Gryphon with the ringbell. Joshua Gardner and Bill Goldberg hit Gryphon with a double clothesline. Ricky Thompson comes over to make it 3 on 1. Jenna: Hey, I think they found a bomb! Tony: Please...this is the most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed. It's truly a dark day in the history of our sport... Zoltan: You'd say that if Gryphon stubbed his toe. Still, this is getting to be a bit much... (Gardner, Thompson, and Goldberg continue to to abuse Gryphon at rigside. Finally, using a flurry of punches, Gryph manages to put some distance between himself and the Corporation. Enraged, he tears the hood off. The crowd explodes.) Jenna: Hey! He can't do that! It's against the rules... Tony: And he's taking advantage of the No-DQ stipulation! Get 'em, Champ! (Gryphon lays into Thompson, as Gardner and Goldberg back off. He rolls back into the ring, and stands over the sill unconsious body of Paris. He hesitates...) Tony: He seems to think something's out of the ordinary, too... Zoltan: Now that you mention it...something's definately different about Paris. Jenna: Argh, what are you two on? Of course that's Paris! Zoltan: WE never said it wasn't. Why so defensive, Jenna? Jenna: Um...no reason... (Gryphon reaches down and pulls the hood off of Paris....) Tony: That's funny...I don't remember Paris having red hair...actually, that doesn't look like Paris at all... Jenna: I don't know what you're talking about... Tony: That's....THAT'S NOT PARIS! THAT'S KID INFERNO! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? Zoltan: I think it's pretty obvious, Tony. And..wait, we've got movement at ringside. Here comes the flasher...cover your eyes, kids! Jenna, I'll protect you... Jenna: WATCH THE HANDS! (As Gryphon looks down at the body of Kid Inferno, trying to figure out what's going on, the "flasher" jumps over the guardrail, shedding the coat and hat to reveal...MARK PARIS! Grabbing a chair, Paris slides into the ring and nails Gryph between the shoulder blades. Gryph staggers forward, tries to turn around, and is met with another brutal chiarshot by Paris. He falls to his knees, and pair of wicked shots with the chair send him slumping to the ground. Amazingly, he tries to pull himself back to his feet, and Paris rains several more bone-crushing shots down across his back.) Tony: This is disgusting! This...this... Jenna: Is totally legal, Tony. That ol' No-DQ stip, remember? Tony: This was a setup the whole time! Jenna: Well, duh. (Paris continues raining chairshots down on Gryphon, until the World Champion has stopped moving. Finally, paris throws donw the chair and stands over the body of Gryphon, as trash rains down from the crowd.) Mark Paris gives the sign for the Extreme Measure. Tony: Enough is enough! Gryphon's already out cold! Mark Paris executes the Extreme Measure on Gryphon. Gryphon isn't moving. Michael Kwoleck refuses to check. Tony: Kwoleck realises he's totally lost control of this one...he doesn't even know what to do now... Zoltan: He's shaking his head...I don't think he's gonna let this go! Jenna: Hey, the match was signed as Paris vs. Gryphon. Paris has Gryphon in the Extreme Measure, now Kwoleck just needs to do his job and RING THE DAMN BELL!!! (The boos get even louder as Speed Racer runs down to ringside.) Tony: Great...this just keeps getting worse. Zoltan: Hey, I'm not happy about it either, but this has to stop. While Kwoleck's wrestling with his consience, Gryphon's been in the Extreme Measure for well over a minute! (Speed jumps up on the apron and begins yelling at Kwoleck. the ref shakes his head and starts yelling back.) Jenna: SOMEBODY'S gonna be looking for a new job Monday morning... (Speed pulls out a contract and shoves it in Kwoleck's face. The ref tries to protest again, but gets shouted down. Although he's not wearing a mic, his shouts can be heard over the roar of the crowd, ending in "NOW GET IN THERE AND DO YOUR F**KING JOB...OR FIND ANOTHER ONE!!!" Shaking his head, Kwoleck goes over to check Gryphon's arm...) He lifts it...it falls. He lifts it...it falls. Tony: Not like this...I can't believe it's going to end like this... He lifts it...it falls. Michael Kwoleck stops the fight after 2 minutes. The winner is Mark Paris. Time of the match: 0:17:23 Tony: Damn! That was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen... Jenna: Ah, quit your whining. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Champion...the Corporate Champion...Mar k Paris! What an amazing comeback... Zoltan: You know, I hate to agree with Tony, but he's right. That was just sick! Jenna: Blow me. Zoltan: Can I? Jenna: Ugh...you boys are gonna have to excuse me. I've got a part to attend. (Jenna gets up, grabs the World Title, and proceeds into the ring, where Speed Racer and the Corporate Clique are celebrating. She proudly presents the belt to Paris, who along with the other Clique members, take to the turnbuckles to taunt the crowd.) Tony: This is a dark day in our--- Zoltan: SHUT UP! That's like the third time you've said that. Even though you're right...that sure is a lot of gold in that ring, though... Tony: Yeah...and almost all of it was stolen some way or another... Zoltan: You've got a point...ok, while they clean up the trash in the ring area, we're going to go live to Howdy's Saloon in downtown San Antonio, a fine drinking establishment that's about to be torn apart as Dan Sexton and Token Minority Jobber settle their uh...racial differences. Tony: And I want to assure the viewers at home that the AGW in no way endorses or condones the remarks that Dan Sexton has made over the past couple months. We believe in freedom of speech, and you have to take the good with the bad sometimes... Zoltan: Quit sucking up and let's go to the ring...er, the bar! This contest is a Bar Room Brawl scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... From Greenwich, Connecticut Weighing in at 250 lbs. Token Minority Jobber His opponent... From Garrison, New Jersey Weighing in at 330 lbs. Dan Sexton Dan Sexton goes for a flying clothesline, but Token Minority Jobber blocks it. Token Minority Jobber goes for a dropkick, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton nails him with a kneelock submission. Token Minority Jobber gets out of the hold immediately. They begin brawling in the card lounge. Tony: Hey, Howdy's has a card lounge! Dan Sexton finds a card table. Dan Sexton throws Token Minority Jobber through a card table. Zoltan: Well...they HAD a card lounge. Dan Sexton misses a fisherman suplex. Token Minority Jobber goes for a kneelift, but Dan Sexton steps aside and he hits nothing but air. They begin brawling at the entrance. Token Minority Jobber goes for a punch, but Dan Sexton reverses the move. Token Minority Jobber tosses Dan Sexton through the saloon doors. Token Minority Jobber follows him out. Token Minority Jobber executes a front facelock. Token Minority Jobber lets go after 9 seconds. Token Minority Jobber nails him with an armdrag takedown. Zoltan: There's that Token Minority Rage...he's taking it to that honkey! Tony: You DO know that you're white, don't you? Zoltan: You can't prove that, brotha... They begin brawling at the entrance. Token Minority Jobber goes for the Rocker Dropper, but Dan Sexton counters with a legsweep. Dan Sexton misses a facerake. Token Minority Jobber goes for a fist to the midsection, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton goes for a bridging back suplex, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a headlock takedown. Token Minority Jobber goes for a fist to the midsection, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton nails him with a legdrop. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Token Minority Jobber takes him down with a lariat. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a grapevine. Dan Sexton breaks the hold after 5 seconds. They begin brawling by the barstools. Token Minority Jobber goes for a fistdrop, but Dan Sexton rolls out of the way. Token Minority Jobber takes him down with a jawbreaker. Token Minority Jobber executes a Big Leg Drop. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Token Minority Jobber executes a legdrop. Token Minority Jobber finds a bar table. Zoltan: Uh-oh...TMJ's got the bar table. The regular's aren't gonna be too happy... Tony: NORM!!! Token Minority Jobber takes him down with a dropkick. They begin brawling near the bathrooms. Token Minority Jobber misses a Boston crab. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. They begin brawling at the entrance. Token Minority Jobber misses a facerake. Dan Sexton misses a facerake. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a kneelift. Token Minority Jobber catches him in a DDT. Token Minority Jobber catches him in the Rocker Dropper. Token Minority Jobber tosses Dan Sexton through the saloon doors. Token Minority Jobber follows him out. They begin brawling at the entrance. Token Minority Jobber goes for a kneedrop, but Dan Sexton rolls out of the way. Token Minority Jobber tosses Dan Sexton through the saloon doors. Tony: And the Jobber tosses him through the saloon doors again...taking advantage of the location is always a great strategy. Zoltan: Yeah, you couldn't do that in Buffalo... Token Minority Jobber follows him out. They begin brawling in a bus. Tony: Aw no, they're on the senior citizen's tour bus... Zoltan: The AARP is NOT gonna be happy... Dan Sexton takes him down with a Gorilla Press. Dan Sexton goes for a crotch slam, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a facerake. They begin brawling in the streets. Zoltan: Well, they made it back to the streets without injuring any old ladies...that's probably a good thing. Token Minority Jobber executes a forearm to the back. Token Minority Jobber goes for a grapevine, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Dan Sexton takes him down with a Gorilla Press. They begin brawling at the entrance. Dan Sexton takes him down with a bodyslam. They begin brawling in the card lounge. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Dan Sexton catches him in a fisherman suplex. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. Dan Sexton catches him in a front slam. Dan Sexton goes for a kneelock submission, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a kick to the head. Token Minority Jobber goes for a vertical suplex, but Dan Sexton reverses the move. Dan Sexton misses an inverted atomic drop. Token Minority Jobber goes for a kneelift, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton catches him in a lariat. Dan Sexton misses an inverted atomic drop. Dan Sexton misses an armbar submission. Dan Sexton takes him down with a bridging back suplex. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. They begin brawling at the entrance. Dan Sexton catches him in a front slam. Dan Sexton takes him down with a dropkick. Tony: Now Sexton's unloading on the Jobber... Zoltan: Pop quiz, Tony: what was that last move called? Tony: It was a...um...er, that is a LOOK AT THAT! Zoltan: What? Tony: Oh, nothing....thought I saw Elvis... Dan Sexton goes for a kneelift, but Token Minority Jobber blocks it. They begin brawling in the card lounge. They begin brawling at the entrance. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a kneedrop. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Token Minority Jobber picks up a wooden chair. Token Minority Jobber rams Dan Sexton with a wooden chair. Token Minority Jobber throws Dan Sexton through a wooden chair. A wooden chair is broken in half. Token Minority Jobber whacks Dan Sexton with a chair. Token Minority Jobber slams him through a table. Token Minority Jobber poses over Dan Sexton's lifeless body. Zoltan: That's right, bro...FIGHT THE POWER!!! They begin brawling in the card lounge. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Dan Sexton nails him with a facerake. They begin brawling in the card lounge. Token Minority Jobber goes for a jawbreaker, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton finds a card table. Dan Sexton whips Token Minority Jobber into a card table. A card table is broken in half. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Dan Sexton nails him with a headbutt. Dan Sexton executes an armbar submission. Token Minority Jobber breaks the hold immediately. Dan Sexton goes for neck-scissors, but Token Minority Jobber ducks out of the way. Token Minority Jobber whacks Dan Sexton with a chair. Token Minority Jobber slams him through a table. Token Minority Jobber poses over Dan Sexton's lifeless body. They begin brawling by the pool tables. Token Minority Jobber misses an armbar submission. They begin brawling by the barstools. Token Minority Jobber picks up a barstool. Dan Sexton goes for a front slam, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a roundhouse right. Token Minority Jobber goes for a kneelift, but Dan Sexton steps aside and he hits nothing but air. Dan Sexton catches him in a fisherman suplex. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. Dan Sexton goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a punch. Token Minority Jobber misses a facerake. Token Minority Jobber hits Dan Sexton with a barstool. Token Minority Jobber rams Dan Sexton with a barstool. Token Minority Jobber executes a forearm to the back. Dan Sexton executes a fistdrop. Dan Sexton executes neck-scissors. Dan Sexton catches him in a bridging back suplex. Carl Westcoat counts: one, kickout. Dan Sexton misses a headbutt. They begin brawling by the pool tables. Dan Sexton takes him down with a bridging back suplex. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. Dan Sexton nails him with a forearm smash. They begin brawling near the bathrooms. Tony: Hope Kevin Sullivan isn't in there... They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Dan Sexton catches him in a faceslam. Dan Sexton executes a legdrop. Dan Sexton misses a facerake. Token Minority Jobber goes for a double leg cradle, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton executes an inverted atomic drop. Token Minority Jobber catches him in the Rocker Dropper. Token Minority Jobber goes for a flying clothesline, but Dan Sexton ducks out of the way. Dan Sexton takes him down with a lariat. They begin brawling at the entrance. Dan Sexton misses an inverted atomic drop. They begin brawling in the card lounge. Token Minority Jobber goes for a kick to the head, but Dan Sexton ducks out of the way. Dan Sexton catches him in a power bomb. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. They begin brawling in the card lounge. Dan Sexton takes him down with a bridging back suplex. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. Dan Sexton executes neck-scissors. They begin brawling at the entrance. Dan Sexton catches him in a faceslam. Dan Sexton executes neck-scissors. Tony: Sexton seems to like that move...whatever it is... Zoltan: It's just his way of choking off the pride of my strong black brothers and sisters! Tony: You're white. Give it up... Token Minority Jobber goes for a kneedrop, but Dan Sexton blocks it. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Dan Sexton misses a forearm smash. They begin brawling by the pool tables. Dan Sexton goes for a fistdrop, but Token Minority Jobber rolls out of the way They begin brawling near the bathrooms. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a kneelift. Token Minority Jobber goes for a lariat, but Dan Sexton ducks out of the way. Dan Sexton nails him with neck-scissors. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a knifehand chop. Token Minority Jobber executes a Boston crab. Dan Sexton breaks the hold immediately. Token Minority Jobber goes for an earringer, but Dan Sexton counters with a backdrop. Dan Sexton goes for a kneelock submission, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a kick to the head. Token Minority Jobber goes for a jumping neck snap, but Dan Sexton blocks it. They begin brawling in the bathroom. Token Minority Jobber goes for a double leg cradle, but Dan Sexton counters with a double leg-hook. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. They begin brawling near the bathrooms. Dan Sexton goes for a dropkick, but Token Minority Jobber blocks it. Token Minority Jobber goes for a lariat, but Dan Sexton counters with a leg lariat. Dan Sexton throws Token Minority Jobber through the door into the bathrooms. Dan Sexton follows him inside the bathroom. Dan Sexton takes him down with a faceslam. They begin brawling near the bathrooms. Dan Sexton tries to ram Token Minority Jobber with a barstool, but he moves out of the way. Zoltan: Sexton just tried to steamroll over TMJ like THE MAN over the civil rights of the black man... They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Dan Sexton nails him with a forearm smash. Token Minority Jobber goes for a forearm to the back, but Dan Sexton steps aside and he hits nothing but air. Token Minority Jobber misses a facerake. Dan Sexton executes a facerake. Dan Sexton hits Token Minority Jobber with a barstool. Dan Sexton nails him with an earringer. Dan Sexton nails him with neck-scissors. Token Minority Jobber executes a rolling reverse cradle. Carl Westcoat counts: one, kickout. They begin brawling by the barstools. Token Minority Jobber goes for the Rocker Dropper, but Dan Sexton counters with a legsweep. They begin brawling near the bathrooms. Dan Sexton goes for a kneelock submission, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a kick to the head. They begin brawling in the bathroom. Dan Sexton executes a forearm smash. Token Minority Jobber catches him in the Rocker Dropper. They begin brawling near the bathrooms. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a headscissors submission. Dan Sexton breaks the hold after 2 seconds. They begin brawling in the bathroom. Tony: LOOK, IT'S THE DUNGEON OF DOOM! Zoltan: WHERE? Tony: Sorry...force of habit... Token Minority Jobber goes for a backslide, but Dan Sexton reverses the move. Carl Westcoat counts: one, kickout. They begin brawling near the bathrooms. They begin brawling by the barstools. Dan Sexton tries to ram Token Minority Jobber with a barstool, but he moves out of the way. Dan Sexton goes for a legdrop, but Token Minority Jobber rolls out of the way. They begin brawling by the pool tables. Token Minority Jobber goes for a front facelock, but Dan Sexton counters with a backdrop. Dan Sexton tries to ram Token Minority Jobber with a barstool, but he moves out of the way. Dan Sexton executes an inverted atomic drop. Dan Sexton rams Token Minority Jobber with a barstool. Dan Sexton nails him with a headbutt. Dan Sexton takes him down with a hiptoss. They begin brawling by the barstools. Dan Sexton goes for an inverted backbreaker, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a backdrop. Token Minority Jobber tosses Dan Sexton over the bar into the bartender. The bartender hits Dan Sexton with a beer bottle. Zoltan: The bartender doesn't like Sexton either... Tony: I really don't think anybody does. Token Minority Jobber follows him over the bar. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a kneelift. Token Minority Jobber misses a Boston crab. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a rolling reverse cradle. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. Dan Sexton hits Token Minority Jobber with a barstool. Token Minority Jobber goes for a front facelock, but Dan Sexton counters with a backdrop. Dan Sexton goes for a bodyslam, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a small package. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. Token Minority Jobber executes a punch. Token Minority Jobber executes a kneedrop. Token Minority Jobber misses a headscissors submission. Dan Sexton executes a kneelift. Dan Sexton goes for a power bomb, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a backdrop. Token Minority Jobber takes him down with a dropkick. Token Minority Jobber executes a kneedrop. Token Minority Jobber executes a rolling reverse cradle. Carl Westcoat counts: one, shoulder up. Token Minority Jobber executes a jumping neck snap. Token Minority Jobber misses an armbar submission. Token Minority Jobber executes a front facelock. Token Minority Jobber lets go after 1 second. Zoltan: And the Token Minority Rage is...what the hell? ONE SECOND? Tony: I guess the Jobber wasn't happy with that...um..face...hold...grab he was using.. Dan Sexton catches him in a hiptoss. Dan Sexton misses an inverted atomic drop. Dan Sexton catches him in a power bomb. Carl Westcoat counts: one, two, kickout. The bartender throws Dan Sexton over the bar to the barstools. The bartender throws Token Minority Jobber over the bar to the barstools. Dan Sexton goes for a fistdrop, but Token Minority Jobber rolls out of the way. They begin brawling near the bathrooms. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a facerake. Token Minority Jobber hits Dan Sexton with a barstool. They begin brawling by the pool tables. Token Minority Jobber nails him with an earringer. Token Minority Jobber nails him with a facerake. They begin brawling by the barstools. Dan Sexton catches him in a backbreaker. They begin brawling by the pool tables. Dan Sexton takes him down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Tony: A BIG...uh...body...lift..throw onto the pool table! That could do it... Dan Sexton executes a headbutt. Dan Sexton takes him down with a scoop slam. Carl Westcoat counts: one, two, shoulder up. Dan Sexton nails him with a kneelift. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Token Minority Jobber whacks Dan Sexton with a chair. Token Minority Jobber slams him through a table. Token Minority Jobber poses over Dan Sexton's lifeless body. Dan Sexton executes a facerake. Dan Sexton goes for a bridging back suplex, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a headlock takedown. Token Minority Jobber goes for a grapevine, but Dan Sexton blocks it. They begin brawling by the barstools. Dan Sexton goes for a kneelock submission, but Token Minority Jobber counters with a kick to the head. Token Minority Jobber takes him down with a legsweep. Token Minority Jobber tosses Dan Sexton over the bar into the bartender. The bartender hits Dan Sexton with a beer bottle. Token Minority Jobber follows him over the bar. Token Minority Jobber goes for a punch, but Dan Sexton reverses the move. The bartender throws Dan Sexton over the bar to the barstools. The bartender throws Token Minority Jobber over the bar to the barstools. Dan Sexton executes an inverted atomic drop. They begin brawling in the middle of the bar. Token Minority Jobber whacks Dan Sexton with a chair. Token Minority Jobber slams him through a table. Token Minority Jobber poses over Dan Sexton's lifeless body. Dan Sexton takes him down with a bodyslam. Token Minority Jobber whacks Dan Sexton with a chair. Token Minority Jobber slams him through a table. Token Minority Jobber poses over Dan Sexton's lifeless body. Zoltan: And TMJ's loving this! He's finally gonna make Sexton pay for dissing his homeboys... Tony: Um..Sexton's back up...Jobber better turn around... Dan Sexton catches him in a powerslam. Carl Westcoat counts: one, two, three. The winner is Dan Sexton. Time of match: 0:12:01 ~~~~~ Tony: And that's gonna do it! To the disgust of almost all the fans out there, Dan Sexton gets a big win over Token Minority Jobber here at the Lethal Lottery! Zoltan: Jesse Jackson's gonna be pissed...we're gonna get boycotted for sure now... Tony: Probably. Well, the ring area has finally been cleaned up, so let's go to our next match: Mai Shiranui taking on Corporate Erica Reid! Zoltan: And let me just say that Mai looks GREAT tonight...gotta love that spandex...Erica's a good looking woman, don't get me wrong, but those piercings just aren't my thing.... Tony: Is it true that she's even got her...you know...peirced. Zoltan: That's what I hear.... Tony: Okay....well, these two have met before, and this return match should be great! Zoltan: At least it'll give us something to look at... Tony: Ignore my partner's comments and let's go to the ring! ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... From Tokyo, Japan... Weighing in at 115 pounds... Mai Shiranui Her opponent... Fighting out of Seattle, WA... Weighing in at 145 pounds... Erica Reid They lock up. Erica Reid runs into the ropes. Mai Shiranui hits Erica Reid with a spinning thrust kick. Mai Shiranui runs into the ropes. Mai Shiranui hits Erica Reid with a shoulderblock. Mai Shiranui hits a scissor kick on Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui whips Erica Reid into the ropes. Mai Shiranui goes for a spinning thrust kick, but Erica Reid ducks out of the way. Erica Reid hits Mai Shiranui with a diving shoulderblock. Erica Reid uses an enzuigiri to the face on Mai Shiranui. Erica Reid is going for the pin. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, shoulder up. Erica Reid nails Mai Shiranui with the T-bone suplex. Erica Reid shows the crowd her tongue piercing. Erica Reid executes the Split-Legged Moonsault on Mai Shiranui. Erica Reid goes for the pin. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Tony: It's been a see-saw matchup so far... Zoltan: I think Erica went for the Split-Legged Moonsault a little bit too early...which means we'll probably get to see it again! Tony: You can always hope so, can't you? Erica Reid whips Mai Shiranui into the ropes, but Mai Shiranui reverses it. Mai Shiranui misses with a clothesline. Mai Shiranui hits Erica Reid with a clothesline. Mai Shiranui attempts to place Erica Reid on the turnbuckle, but Erica Reid blocks it. Mai Shiranui executes a spinning thrust kick on Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui yells "I'm number one!!!". Mai Shiranui takes Erica Reid down with a dragon suplex. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, kickout. Mai Shiranui leaves the ring. She returns with the tire iron. Mai Shiranui uses a flying cross body press on Erica Reid. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, kickout. Mai Shiranui takes a swing at Erica Reid with the tire iron, but she gets out of the way. Erica Reid snatches the tire iron from her. Erica Reid takes a swing at Mai Shiranui with the tire iron, but she gets out of the way. Zoltan: Two broads fighting over a tire iron...I think I saw this on Cinemax the other night... Mai Shiranui snatches the tire iron from her. Mai Shiranui hits her with the tire iron. Mai Shiranui locks Erica Reid in a dragon sleeper. Erica Reid breaks the hold after 5 seconds. Erica Reid goes for a slingshot facebuster, but Mai Shiranui slides down her back. Mai Shiranui goes for a spinning mule kick, but Erica Reid blocks it. Erica Reid whips Mai Shiranui into the ropes, but Mai Shiranui reverses it. Mai Shiranui hits a spinning thrust kick on Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui runs into the ropes. Mai Shiranui hits Erica Reid with an elbow. Mai Shiranui puts Erica Reid in an armbar submission. Erica Reid is valiantly trying to break the hold. Erica Reid is writhing in pain. Darren Lloyd tells Erica Reid to respond or he'll stop the fight. Erica Reid nods. Darren Lloyd asks Erica Reid if she's still there. Erica Reid nods. Erica Reid reaches the ropes after being trapped for 33 seconds. Tony: And Erica fights her way out of that...um...arm...hold... Zoltan: How long have you been in this business again? Tony: Hmm..I don't know that, either... Mai Shiranui uses a flying splash on Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui yells "I'm number one!!!". Mai Shiranui hits her with the tire iron. Erica Reid is busted wide open. Mai Shiranui executes the Shinobi Bati on Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui goes for the pin. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Zoltan: She's wet...she's bloody...but she STILL manages to kick out of the Shinobi Bati! Great effort by Erica...wonder if she'd like me to come in there and towel her off... Tony: You stay put! Mai Shiranui throws Erica Reid out of the ring. Darren Lloyd counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, Erica Reid reenters the ring. Mai Shiranui goes for a vertical suplex, but Erica Reid reverses it. Erica Reid runs into the ropes. Erica Reid takes Mai Shiranui down with a backspin DDT. Erica Reid executes a kick to the thigh on Mai Shiranui. Erica Reid goes for a punch, but Mai Shiranui counters it with an armbar submission. Erica Reid reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Mai Shiranui goes for a flying hip attack, but Erica Reid ducks out of the way. Erica Reid goes for a back heel kick, but Mai Shiranui blocks it. Mai Shiranui nails Erica Reid with a roundhouse kick. Mai Shiranui chops Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui hits Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui hits Erica Reid with a roundhouse kick. Mai Shiranui whips Erica Reid into the ropes, but Erica Reid reverses it. Erica Reid misses with a kick. Erica Reid hits Mai Shiranui with a kick. Erica Reid hits Mai Shiranui with a back elbow. Erica Reid is going for the pin. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, shoulder up. Erica Reid runs into the ropes. Erica Reid misses with a kick. Mai Shiranui hits Erica Reid with a cartwheel kick. Mai Shiranui runs into the ropes. Zoltan: And look at her run... Tony: Do you want to be alone for a few minutes... Zoltan: Well, if you're offering... Tony: I miss my G-Rated job... Mai Shiranui misses with a clothesline. Erica Reid hits Mai Shiranui with a kick. Erica Reid nails Mai Shiranui with a punch. Erica Reid goes for an armdrag takedown, but Mai Shiranui reverses it. In turn, Erica Reid counters it with a lariat. Erica Reid goes for a standing short arm scissors, but Mai Shiranui blocks it. Mai Shiranui hits Erica Reid with a series of slaps. Mai Shiranui goes for a vertical suplex, but Erica Reid blocks it. Erica Reid executes a slingshot facebuster on Mai Shiranui. Erica Reid hits Mai Shiranui. Erica Reid punches Mai Shiranui. Mai Shiranui punches Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui kicks Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui kicks Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui goes for a roundhouse kick, but Erica Reid ducks out of the way. Erica Reid whips Mai Shiranui into the ropes, but Mai Shiranui reverses it. Erica Reid misses with a clothesline. Mai Shiranui hits a scissor kick on Erica Reid. Mai Shiranui nails Erica Reid with a ropeflip moonsault. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, three. The winner is Mai Shiranui. Time of match: 0:07:19 Tony: And Mai picks up the win with that rope...flip...moonsault..thing. Zoltan: Rope...flip...moonsault? YOU CALLED IT! YOU ACTUALLY CALLED A MOVE RIGHT! Tony: I did? Er..of course I did! I'm a professional broadcaster. Zoltan: The end of the world is at hand...well, Mai Shiranui with a hard fought win over Erica Reid. I'll say that I enjoyed that match...a whole lot...in fact, screw the next match, let's see that whole thing again! Tony: I'm afraid we can't do that, your Lordship. My broadcaster's Code of Ethics insists that we must go to the next match...which I will call with a knowledge and professionalism that will boggle your mind. Zoltan: So do it. Call this match! Tony: I plan to. Newcomers, and members of the wildly popular Dungeon of Mediocrity, the New Death Sensation of El Luchador and Extremely Hardcore Brawler...will take on even NEWER-comers, Aenima and Undertow of G-Force. Zoltan: G-Force has caused quite a stir lately...at least in the locker room. I understand they've had problems backstage with certain members of the Corporation lately. Tony: Yeah, but those seem to have settled down. Tonight, they'll get back to business, taking on the NDS in their own match, a Chicago Street Fight! Let's go to the ring! ~~~~~ This contest is a falls-count-anywhere-no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-Chicago Street Fight tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by Sweet Leaf... At a total combined weight of 577 pounds... G-Force Their opponents... At a total combined weight of 500 pounds... The New Death Sensation Zoltan: EHB and Aenima are gonna start this ting off...and Tony's gonna call the WHOLE match... Tony: You sound sceptical... They lock up. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a power bomb, but Aenima counters it with a backdrop. Aenima runs into the ropes. Extremely Hardcore Brawler catches Aenima in a clawhold. Aenima reaches the ropes after being trapped for 6 seconds. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a dropkick to the groin, but Aenima side-steps and Extremely Hardcore Brawler only hits air. Aenima goes for an armbar submission, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a piledriver on Aenima. Extremely Hardcore Brawler uses a pencil jab to the forehead on Aenima. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a spinebuster slam, but Aenima counters it with a kick to the head. Aenima tags out to Undertow. El Luchador enters the ring and lays out Aenima. Extremely Hardcore Brawler and El Luchador hit Undertow with a double power bomb. Tony: GREAT MOVE! Zoltan: And it was called what? Tony: It was a....um...well, two guys were doing it... Zoltan: You can't call a match... Tony: No fair! I'll get the next one! El Luchador leaves the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes a DDT on Undertow. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Undertow into the turnbuckle, but Undertow reverses it. Undertow punches Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Undertow hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler chops Undertow. Undertow punches Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Undertow punches Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler punches Undertow. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a chokehold, but Undertow counters it with a kick to the midsection. Extremely Hardcore Brawler runs into the ropes. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a dropkick to the groin, but Undertow side-steps and Extremely Hardcore Brawler only hits air. Undertow uses a jack-knife power bomb on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Zoltan: Okay, what was that? Tony: A kickout. Zoltan: NO! The move before that? Tony: A...um...a lateral press... Zoltan: You're an idiot... Undertow whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the turnbuckle. Undertow runs shoulder-first into the corner. Undertow gets an octopus hold on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Undertow hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a flying clothesline. Undertow executes a flying lariat on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Undertow whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the turnbuckle. Undertow nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a monkey flip. Undertow takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a DDT. Undertow is going for the pin. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, in the ropes... Undertow whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the turnbuckle, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler reverses it. Undertow comes back, but is met with an elbow. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a series of headbutts on Undertow. Extremely Hardcore Brawler holds up his chair and yells "ASS!!!". Zoltan: ASS! EHB rules! Tony: Fans, we apologise for the langauge... Zoltan: Like hell we do! I didn't see a TV-G rating at the start of this show. Go ahead, say it. Say ASS! Tony: But I don't want to say...you know... Zoltan: ASS? Tony: Not so loud! People will hear you... Zoltan: Hear me? They're screaming it louder then I am! Extremely Hardcore Brawler tags out to El Luchador. Aenima enters the ring, but gets cut off. El Luchador and Extremely Hardcore Brawler hit Undertow with a double flying elbowdrop. Extremely Hardcore Brawler leaves the ring. El Luchador hits a lariat on Undertow. El Luchador runs into the ropes. Undertow hits El Luchador with a clothesline. Undertow nails El Luchador with a flying lariat. Undertow tags out to Aenima. Aenima hits El Luchador with a legsweep faceslam. Aenima goes for a legsweep faceslam, but El Luchador blocks it. El Luchador hits Aenima with a legsweep. El Luchador executes a jumping side kick on Aenima. El Luchador is going for the pin. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. El Luchador runs into the ropes. Aenima uses a chop on El Luchador. Aenima whips El Luchador into the ropes. El Luchador executes a lariat on Aenima. El Luchador uses a flying sunset flip on Aenima. Zoltan: Alright, that was an easy one. Call it! Tony: Um...a flying...er...spinning...takedown? Zoltan: Check please. Carl Westcoat counts: One, shoulder up. El Luchador runs into the ropes. El Luchador misses with a shoulderblock. El Luchador hits Aenima with an elbow. El Luchador hits Aenima with a dragon suplex. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. El Luchador hits a jumping side kick on Aenima. El Luchador whips Aenima into the ropes. Aenima uses a back heel kick on El Luchador. Aenima whips El Luchador into the ropes, but El Luchador reverses it. El Luchador hits Aenima with a lariat. Extremely Hardcore Brawler enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Aenima with a spinebuster slam. El Luchador nails Aenima with a flying legdrop. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Extremely Hardcore Brawler leaves the ring. El Luchador goes for an inverted atomic drop, but Aenima blocks it. Aenima whips El Luchador into the ropes. El Luchador hits an enzuilariato on Aenima. El Luchador hits Aenima with a legsweep. El Luchador whips Aenima into the ropes. Aenima misses with a clothesline. Aenima goes for a clothesline, but El Luchador counters it with a crucifix. Tony: Great counter move by El Luchador! Zoltan: And what was it called? Tony: Well...you know, we've got a great show still to come, folks. In our BIG main event... Zoltan: Don't even think about it, Tony... Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. El Luchador hits Aenima. El Luchador punches Aenima. Aenima chops El Luchador. Aenima nails El Luchador with a power bomb. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, in the ropes... Aenima executes a legsweep faceslam on El Luchador. Aenima nails El Luchador with a lariat. Aenima whips El Luchador into the ropes. Aenima hits El Luchador with a kick. Aenima executes a piledriver on El Luchador. Aenima puts his thumbs up in the air and makes a downward gesture.. Aenima nails El Luchador with a clothesline. Aenima executes a Hotshot on El Luchador. Aenima runs into the ropes. Aenima goes for a lariat, but El Luchador counters it with a crucifix. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Aenima whips El Luchador into the ropes, but El Luchador reverses it. Aenima misses with a clothesline. El Luchador misses with a shoulderblock. Aenima misses with a clothesline. Aenima hits El Luchador with a kick. Aenima goes for a jumping DDT, but El Luchador counters it with a backdrop. El Luchador goes for a jumping DDT, but Aenima counters it with a backdrop. Aenima goes for a legsweep faceslam, but El Luchador counters it with a faceslam. Zoltan: Dueling faceslams from Aenima and El Luchador! Brolly's gonna be pissed he he sees that... Tony: Hey, I was gonna call that one! Zoltan: You were not... El Luchador nails Aenima with a flying sunset flip. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, thr... kickout. El Luchador tags out to Extremely Hardcore Brawler. El Luchador goes for a DDT, but Aenima throws him off. El Luchador rolls out of the ring. Aenima throws Extremely Hardcore Brawler out of the ring. Aenima goes through the ropes. Undertow comes over to make it two-on-one. El Luchador comes over and lays out Undertow. El Luchador hits an enzuilariato on Aenima. Extremely Hardcore Brawler climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Aenima throws him to the mat. El Luchador comes over, but gets cut off. Aenima and Undertow hit Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a double dropkick. Aenima is handed a frying pan. Aenima hits him with the frying pan. Aenima whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the guardrail. Aenima goes for a front-layout suplex, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. They're brawling inside the ring area. Extremely Hardcore Brawler throws Aenima over the guardrail. El Luchador comes over to make it two-on-one. Undertow comes over, but gets cut off. El Luchador nails Aenima with a lariat. Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Aenima with a knee to the groin. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is handed a prosthetic leg. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits him with the prosthetic leg. Zoltan: We'd like to take a moment to say hi to wrestling great Mad Dog Vachon for joining us tonight... Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Aenima into the guardrail. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is going for the pin. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for an inverted DDT, but Aenima blocks it. Undertow comes over to make it two-on-one. Undertow hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a dropkick. Aenima uses a legsweep faceslam on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Undertow takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a flying lariat. Aenima goes for a legsweep faceslam, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. They're brawling behind the guardrail. Extremely Hardcore Brawler grabs a chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler sets up the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Aenima with a spinebuster slam onto the chair. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, three. The winners are The New Death Sensation. Time of match: 0:09:47 Zoltan: Extremely Hardcore Brawler gets the win with an Extremely Hardcore Spinebuster! Tony: I was just about to... Zoltan: YOU WERE NOT GONNA CALL THAT! Tony: But...but.. Zoltan: But nothing. You were lucky with the ropeflip moonsault, but it's not gonna happen again! Give it up, and go shill something... Tony: Fine, I'll do that! We've got a great night of action still to come, folks. Right now, myself and Lord Zoltan are going to turn the headsets over to some of our broadcast colleagues, but we'll be back later for the Lethal Lottery finals. See you then, folks! VIOLET: Hello everyone, and welcome to San Antonio for the AGW Lethal Lottery!!! SPEED: We have tons of matches, tons of announcers and tons of a whole lotta other stuff. VIOLET: And we are opening up with none other than the Lethal Lottery itself!! SPEED: Man, this is going to probably be the best one yet. Any early predictions? I think I will go with the Corporate Enforcer, Bill Goldberg. VIOLET: Me? I definitely predict Smooth Operator. SPEED: There_s no wait. We are going straight to the action!! [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Matt Technician and Son Goten defeated Malik Shabazz and Bilge Rat when M. Technician pinned Bilge Rat after a reverse neckbreaker in 0:08:39. Rating: 3/4* SPEED: Bilge Rat made one more appearance for the AGW, and he and Shabazz got upset by Technician and Goten. VIOLET: Yeah, Matt and Goten are an undersized team, but one that can be underestimated as well. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Skull Ganz and Kane defeated Virgil Earp and Hybrid when Kane made V. Earp submit to the torture rack in 0:02:07. Rating: ** SPEED: That was a very fast one there. Ganz went in there, tore Corporate Hybrid and Virgil Earp up , and let Kane finish up. VIOLET: These are 2 big boys....I think they could go far. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Joshua Gardner and Taka Michinoku defeated Ricky Thompson and Punishment when Gardner made Thompson submit to the Executive Decision in 0:17:14. Rating: ** SPEED: DAMN!!! How in the world did that happen? VIOLET: The Legendary Pretty Boys were forced to fight each other. SPEED: Ricky had to team with that fatass ex-AGWite Punishment and Josh drew that no good midget, Taka Michinoku. Not only did they fight each other, they got stuck with poor partners!!! VIOLET: Get over it!!! [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Brolly and Kris Kanyon defeated Tregoren and Mike Awesome when Brolly pinned Mike Awesome with the Brolly Face Slam in 0:13:40. Rating: -1/4* SPEED: Brolly is set to win his third straight Lethal Lottery. Even I admit that would be unprecedented. VIOLET: Definitely. And his partner, Kanyon, is more than formidable. He can hold his own with the best of them. This was a battle of the big men as Tregoren and Awesome were taken out! [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match New Jack and Doc Holiday defeated Trunks and Agony when Doc Holiday pinned Agony with the Showdown in 0:06:50. Rating: 1/4* VIOLET: A relative easy win for New Jack and Doc. SPEED: Agony isn_t known much for being away from his partner, Ecstasy....and Trunks is a kid. They were overmatched by the drunk and the gangsta. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Eli Vane and Genesis defeated Brad Steel and The Canadian Crippler when Eli Vane pinned Canadian Crippler with the Figure Four Leglock in 0:13:00. Rating: 1/2* VIOLET: how embarassing!! Eli Vane makes one last appearance for the AGW as one of the Legends introduced for this event and he makes another one submit. SPEED: More importantly, that octogenarian, Vane, caused Corporate Brad to be ousted. Now THAT pisses me off. Brad was only in the match for like a minute! [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Dan Sexton and Alex Star defeated El Luchador and Vengeance when D. Sexton pinned El Luchador with the Deadweight in 0:16:22. Rating: *** 1/4 SPEED: HA HA!!! Star got stuck with that jabronie, Sexton. VIOLET: This may have been the best match of the night so far. El Luchador and Vengeance actually did quite well but came up short in the end. Luchador was outsized big time. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Paul Vega and Corey Johnson defeated Jerry Lynn and Akeem when P Vega pinned J. Lynn with the The Blackheart Punch in 0:05:37. Rating: * SPEED: Akeem?!?! Who signed him? VIOLET: I thought you did. (Speed and Violet look at each other, look at the ring and shake their heads.) [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Galahad and El Gato Loco defeated Son Goku and Terry Funk when Galahad pinned T. Funk with the Shining Blade in 0:15:28. Rating: 3/4* SPEED: And El Gato Loco and Galahad win their match in another upset. VIOLET: What_s that guy doing here? SPEED: Well, this is his last card. He quit but he had a contract to fulfill. Trust me, he won_t be getting far. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match The Godfather and Bolo Yeung defeated Abdullah the Butcher and Zhar the InsaYne when Bolo Yeung pinned Abdullah with the Bolo Blaster in 0:23:29. Rating: -* 3/4 VIOLET: Another battle of 4 big men. The Godfather and Bolo showed some great teamwork. SPEED: I think Bolo just liked having the Ho_s at ringside. He was smiling the whole time. Man, The Godfather is my hero!!! [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Fenris and Super Unknown defeated Steve Cox and El Phantasmo when S. Unknown pinned Steve Cox with the SuperUnknown Driver in 0:12:07. Rating: * 3/4 VIOLET: Hollywood Fenris is paired with Super Unknown and they do well against the Boogie Knight and the E.P.O. member. SPEED: Both the Boogie Knights and the E.P.O. are currently wrestling indies and I don_t think these two were quite ready for AGW action. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Inferno and Wildfire defeated Christopher Thunder and Smooth Operator when Wildfire pinned Smooth Operator after a fisherman suplex in 0:17:50. Rating: ** 1/4 SPEED: HA!! This is amusing in more ways than one. The 2 new fire-oriented dudes are paired up....and they combine to beat SMOOTH!! BWAHAHAHA!!! VIOLET: Smooth and Thunder were upset afterwards. That was a fast count. SPEED: Well no, they just didn_t know how good Wildfire was. This guy is very good. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Shawn Michaels and Wolverine defeated Chad Price and Abel when Michaels pinned Abel with the Sweet Chin Music in 0:18:16. Rating: -* SPEED: HBK and the fatass take out Price and Abel in a very long, and kinda boring match. VIOLET: None of these 4 were really into the match for some reason. SPEED: Neither was the crowd. In fact, neither was I. I hit the can for 15 minutes during it. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Extremely Hardcore Brawler and Kaz Hayashi defeated Ash Tre and Doomsday when E.H. Brawler made Ash Tre submit to a cobra clutch in 0:13:44. Rating: ** 3/4 VIOLET: The Brawler got paired up with a member of the new Rising Sun stable, Kaz Hayashi. SPEED: Yeah, they definitely pulled an upset against Ash and Doomsday. VIOLET: If Ash wasn_t so worried about lighting up his cigarettes during the match they would have won. SPEED: Hey, he likes the cancer sticks, I can_t help that! [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Most Holy and Joe Public defeated Sean Blake and The Druid when Most Holy pinned S.Blake with the Holy Roller in 0:14:00. Rating: 1/4* VIOLET: One more chapter in the long-running yet quiet feud between Public and the Druid. SPEED: Actually, most of the match involved Most Holy taking on Blake. Mostest gets the win over the slumping Blake. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Cloud Dragon and Super Dragon defeated Rocky Maivia and Kid Nitro when Super D defeated Kid Nitro via pinfall in 0:09:29. Rating: ** 1/4 VIOLET: Who is this Cloud Dragon character? SPEED: He is another indy fed guy who was trained by none other than the Black Mage. Super Dragon never really wrestled in the AGW either, concentrating on the WHCW, but he was impressive in defeating Kid Nitro who is FAR from his old self. VIOLET: He won_t even talk to you anymore right? SPEED: He won_t talk to anyone. I think he lives in a log cabin somewhere in Montana where he makes bombs and stuff. VIOLET: That_s the Unabomber. SPEED: So?!?! Lightning can strike twice. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Hammer and Masked Fat Guy #2 defeated Iron Mike Sharpe and Hellblazer when Hammer made Sharpe submit to a kneelock submission in 0:18:59. Rating: -**** SPEED: Ugh....1 word. PAINFUL!!! VIOLET: Doomsday_s ally, Hammer, teams with MFG2 and fought the very mediocre team of Hellblazer and Iron Mike Sharpe. SPEED: Well, since there is no Dark Church currently, and Hellblazer was signed to a long term contract, I had to find SOMETHING for him to do. VIOLET: Iron Mike Sharpe though? SPEED: Hey, I like him!! And besides, Horowitz couldn_t show up. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Enforcer and Vader defeated Lex Luger and Raven when Vader pinned Raven with the Vader Bomb in 0:05:50. Rating: * 3/4 VIOLET: Fast match as the big team of Enforcer and Vader win. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Terrance M. Garvin and Terry Austin defeated Jack Deth and Vegeta when T.Austin made Vegeta submit to the The Golden Dream in 0:20:18. Rating: -3/4* SPEED: Hey, I kinda like this team of Garvin and Austin. VIOLET: Garvin and Vegeta executed some great high flying maneuvers during this match, and gave the crowd some excitement. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Storm and Stephen Eggerton defeated Bobby Skywalker and Gris Lee when Storm pinned Gris with the Storm Cycle in 0:03:15. Rating: ** VIOLET: Storm and Eggerton made short work of Skywalker and Gris Lee. 3 of the top 25 were in this one. SPEED: Too bad it sucked. But at least it was short. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match The Goon and Duke Of Beav defeated Max Wagner and Syxx when Duke Of Beav pinned Syxx after a reverse flying elbowdrop in 0:09:35. Rating: ** 1/4 VIOLET: Max Wagner and Syxx probably have two of the worst singles records in the AGW and unfortunately they got teamed up. SPEED: Well, The Goon ain_t much better. I think the AGW legend, Duke Of Beav really won it. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Ranma Saotome and Jimmy Crush defeated Mr. Perfect and El Bombastico when Ranma pinned Perfect with the Hiryu Shotenha in 0:11:48. Rating: ** 1/2 SPEED: Another legend, another victory. VIOLET: Ranma and Jimmy Crush are 2 very good Cruiserweights and they took out Perfect and Bombastico. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Big Daddy G and Nebuchadnezzar defeated Terry Bogard and Unleaded when Big Daddy G pinned Unleaded with the Daddy Bomb in 0:16:43. Rating: 1/2* VIOLET: 3 Legends and a newcomer were in this one. SPEED: Yeah, but Unleaded has really gotten kind of fat since he won the AGW Title. Not even the King Of Fighters, Terry Bogard, could carry that one. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Black Mage and DOOM defeated Ecstasy and Erik Moon when Black Mage pinned Moon after a tiger driver in 0:10:21. Rating: *** 1/4 VIOLET: Wow, the Mage and Moon put on a wresting clinic. They didn_t even tag their partners out in this one. SPEED: Hey, they both want to be noticed. I think this could be the Mage_s last card for a little while though. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris defeated Token Minority Jobber and Papa Shango when Paris made T.M. Jobber submit to the Extreme Measure in 0:05:45. Rating: -* 3/4 SPEED: Well, Paris definitely could have drawn worse partners. Wade is a multiple time tag champ and Legend. VIOLET: And having the opponents they did helped. SPEED: Well, TMJ and Shango were busy arguing with each other and got overmatched. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Harmonium Ziporath and Bill Goldberg defeated Father Arson and Deathwish when Goldberg pinned Father Arson with the Jackhammer in 0:08:32. Rating: DUD SPEED: Man, these were 2 damn good teams. But the crazy guy and the Corporate Enforcer defeated Arson and Deathwish. VIOLET: The crowd wasn_t into this one for some reason. SPEED: The peons are dumb, it_s that easy. VIOLET: The peons are dumb? Ahhh, nevermind. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Wesley Dante and Captain Blood defeated Cardiac and Mountain Of Darkness when Wesley Dante pinned Mountain with the Wyld Thing in 0:11:58. Rating: -* 1/2 VIOLET: And this was...... SPEED: Ahhh, who cares? Next!!! [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Craig'The Chef'Pearce and Jerry Flynn defeated Aenima and Gryphon when Flynn pinned Gryphon after a superkick in 0:10:35. Rating: -* SPEED: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! VIOLET: Whoa, I can_t believe that one. Legend and head of AGW Security, Craig Pearce, teamed up with the newest member of the Dynamic Goons, Jerry Flynn and just pulled off a huge win!! SPEED: Flynn PINNED Gryphon after knocking him silly with the superkick. Now THAT is funny. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Doom and Anaconda defeated Mark Starr and Mama Jama when Anaconda made Mama Jama submit to the Big Squeeze in 0:05:54. Rating: **** VIOLET: The first ever AGW World Champ, Doom teams with a great big man, Anaconda to defeat Starr and another Legend, Mama Jama. SPEED: Man, I think Doom and Anaconda could be unstoppable here tonight. VIOLET: What are you doing? SPEED: MY match is next. VIOLET: YOUR match? SPEED: You heard me, once again I weasel my way into an AGW card. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Speed Racer and James'Grumpy'Moore defeated Wyatt Earp and Master Darque when Grumpy made Wyatt Earp submit to the Crippler in 0:16:31. Rating: -* (Speed leaves the ring and sits again beside Violet.) SPEED: Well, I got lucky to get a great partner like I did. The other member of the Cripplers. VIOLET: Didn_t see you in the ring much though. SPEED: I didn_t want that drunken Earp to hurt me. What can I say? When he has a few bottles of JD, he loses some in-ring ability. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Joaquin Campos and Malekith defeated Thrash and Holocaust when Malekith made Holocaust submit to a cobra clutch in 0:13:14. Rating: -* VIOLET: Now what_s the story on this Malekith guy? SPEED: He was also trained by the Dark Church and wrestles in indy leagues. Now he has to carry Campos_ unskilled fat ass throughout the tourney. [Round 1]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Undertow and Lou Thesz defeated Quackman and Erric Doc Strange when Undertow pinned Quacks after a flying clothesline in 0:20:18. Rating: ** VIOLET: I can_t believe you. *shakes her head* SPEED: What? VIOLET: You signed Lou Thesz. SPEED: The man is a pro wrestling great!!! Besides, he only had to beat a homeless guy and a duck to win. VIOLET: Actually, Undertow picked the pinfall up. SPEED: He did? Must have missed it. VIOLET: That is the end of the first round. Some upsets and a lot of surprises. ("Jerk-Off" by Tool plays over the PA system, and the fans start booing, the trash starts flying, and gold lights sweep the crowd. "Stunning" Stacey Davis walks out and stops. She then points to the entrance way. Just then, Gorgeous Joshua Gardner walks out, alone. He then stops next to Davis and then they both point to the entrance way, as Goldberg makes his way out, Intercontinental Championship around his waist and briefcase in hand. The crowd boos even more so, and more trash starts to fly. As they enter the ring, Gardner grabs a mic.) Gorgeous Joshua Gardner: I know why you all think we are out here. You're thinking, "GREAT!! Here comes the Corporation to buy off another one of my fan favorites!!" NO! That is not the case. We are using this venue to honor a wonderful Corporate member. A man, who's hard work and sacrifice have not gone unnoticed. A man who has sold his services to the Corporation damn near since the beginning of our creation. A man who is the self-proclaimed "King of Hardcore", ladies and gentlemen, we are here to honor Brad Steel!!! Brad, come on out, will ya! (Brad then makes his way to the ring, with Brenda and Tregoren on each side of him. He gets to the ring, with a huge smile on his face.) Gorgeous Joshua Gardner: Now--hold on. Let me get out the cards. (Gardner then opens the briefcase, showing the crowd and Steel the huge amount of money that is held within. There are cards set on the top of the money. Gardner grabs them, and closes the briefcase.) Gorgeous Joshua Gardner: Ahem. Brad Steel, looked up to by many people. Especially those shorter then him. Wait, hold it. Who wrote this crap? Ah well, let's move on. Brad is an Icon to those who have lost to him, a mentor to those who want to be him, and a legend to those who know him? Oh come on! This is total crap! Sorry. Shall we continue? Alright. Ah screw it! (Thompson then dives into the ring, behind Steel and nails him with a steel chair. Goldberg then clocks Tergoren with the briefcase. "Stunning" Stacey Davis decides that now is a good time to deliver the Stunner on a confused Brenda Steel, and does so.) Gorgeous Joshua Gardner: I'm sorry. Your services will no longer be required. 'Berg, if you would. I have some more bussiness to take care of. (Thompson then sets Tregoren up for the Jackhammer as Thompson puts the chair underneath him. Gardner executes the Executive Decision on Steel while Goldberg delivers the Jackhammer. After about 30 seconds, Gardner releases the hold) Gorgeous Joshua Gardner: Aww, the hell with it. Keep the money, consider it severence pay. (The crowd boos even louder, as the Legendary Pretty Boys, "Stunning" Stacey Davis, and Goldberg exit the ring, and walk to the back.) ROUND 2 [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Skull Ganz and Kane defeated Matt Technician and Son Goten when S.Ganz pinned M. Technician with the The Skull Crusher in 0:01:59. Rating: ** 3/4 VIOLET: Man, I just do not see Skull Ganz being stopped. That man is an absolute monster. SPEED: Technician tried his fancy little leglocks and takedowns and in return he got a one-way trip to the mat face first. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Joshua Gardner and Taka Michinoku defeated Brolly and Kris Kanyon when Gardner made Brolly submit to the Executive Decision in 0:15:58. Rating: ** SPEED: YES YES YES YES YES!!!! VIOLET: OH MY GOD!!! That has to be a HUGE upset. SPEED: Gardner OWNS Brolly, baby. What, is he 4-0 against the big man? VIOLET: I have no clue what the record is, but I do know that Gardner has been able to defeat Brolly more than anyone else. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match New Jack and Doc Holiday defeated Eli Vane and Genesis when N. Jack pinned Eli Vane with the Gangsta Splash in 0:03:35. Rating: -1/2* VIOLET: New Jack makes short work of Eli Vane, planting him through a table with the Gangsta Splash. SPEED: Yeah, New Jack may be extreme and somewhat entertaining to watch, but wait until he gets in the ring against REAL competition. He doesn_t do so well. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Dan Sexton and Alex Star defeated Paul Vega and Corey Johnson when Alex Star made P Vega submit to the Starscream in 0:17:25. Rating: -3/4* VIOLET: In an interesting twist, Alex Star had to wrestle one of his hated enemies, Paul Vega and his personal cameraman in one match. SPEED: Yeah, but Johnson wasn_t really into the match. He wrestled some with Sexton but he basically made Vega fight a 2 on 1 match, causing him to lose in the end. VIOLET: I_m sure Star told Johnson to do that too. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match The Godfather and Bolo Yeung defeated Galahad and El Gato Loco when Godfather pinned Galahad after the HOOOOOOO Train in 0:12:55. Rating: -1/4* SPEED: HOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Once again the Most Dangerous Pimps in the World win their match. VIOLET: The what?!?!? SPEED: You like that name? At least they made El Gato Loco get the hell out of my fed. Damn Mexicans. VIOLET: I think I_ll tell El Luchador you said that. SPEED: YAK YAK YAK!! [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Fenris and Super Unknown defeated Inferno and Wildfire when S. Unknown pinned Inferno with the SuperUnknown Driver in 0:08:06. Rating: ** 1/4 SPEED: I guess you could say that Fenris and Super Unknown put the fire out of Inferno and Wildfire. BWAHAHA!! VIOLET: Inferno and Wildfire bickered throughout the whole match, something that will happen in these Lethal Lottery situations. SPEED: Yeah, I mean Fenris and Super Unknown aren_t fond of each other but at least they aren_t bringing it to the ring with them. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Extremely Hardcore Brawler and Kaz Hayashi defeated Shawn Michaels and Wolverine when E.H. Brawler pinned Michaels after a spinebuster slam in 0:11:51. Rating: * 1/2 VIOLET: An upset there. The Brawler and Kaz continue on with a win over HBK and Wolverine. SPEED: Now, I am not one to make excuses for HBK, but I know exactly why he lost. VIOLET: Why is that. SPEED: If I was married to Whisper, I sure as hell would be tired EVERY day. Man, Shawn, you ARE a lucky man. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Most Holy and Joe Public defeated Cloud Dragon and Super Dragon when Most Holy pinned Super D with the Holy Roller in 0:16:39. Rating: * 3/4 VIOLET: The Dragon team loses as Most Holy and Joe Public continue. SPEED: Don_t know what Joe has been up to lately, but they have themselves a good team. Even I admit that. But wait until they face a Corporate team. Mostest will get a whupping. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Hammer and Masked Fat Guy #2 defeated Enforcer and Vader when Masked Fat Guy 2 pinned Vader with the Avalanche in 0:08:29. Rating: 1/4* VIOLET: Yet another battle of 4 big men, with the brand new Hammer and the Masked Fat Guy #2. SPEED: How_s this for a conspiracy theory? VIOLET: What do you mean? SPEED: I think Hammer is secretly MASKED FAT GUY #1!!!! VIOLET: But without the mask? SPEED: Yeah. VIOLET: Whatever. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Terrance M. Garvin and Terry Austin defeated Storm and Stephen Eggerton when T.Austin made Storm submit to the The Golden Dream in 0:14:18. Rating: ** 3/4 VIOLET: All 4 men put on great performances, with a rookie and a vet on each team. SPEED: This one just came down to who got the first lucky break, and it happened to be the team of Terry_s. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Ranma Saotome and Jimmy Crush defeated The Goon and Duke Of Beav when Ranma pinned Duke Of Beav with the Hiryu Shotenha in 0:09:50. Rating: ** 1/2 VIOLET: A very good technical match, as Ranma and Crush cut the ring off and kept Duke of Beav in the ring for most of the match. SPEED: Yeah, Ranma and Crush work pretty well together. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Black Mage and DOOM defeated Big Daddy G and Nebuchadnezzar when Black Mage pinned Big Daddy G with his special move in 0:15:05. Rating: ** 1/2 VIOLET: The Dark Church is far from dead....well, at least the Mage is far from it. He and DOOM win it. SPEED: Now, remember folks, DOOM is one half of Demolition 2000 and Doom is the first AGW World Champ. Two separate dudes. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris defeated Harmonium Ziporath and Bill Goldberg when Rambler made Ziporath submit to the Crippler in 0:13:25. Rating: ** 1/4 SPEED: And of course, the MAN has to force 2 MORE Corporate members to face each other. But they did it without fuss unlike a lot of guys out there. VIOLET: This was a very entertaining match with Rambler moving out of the way of a Ziporath frog splash and placing him in the Crippler. Both Paris and Goldberg entered the ring but just stood there and shrugged. SPEED: No need to pound on each other. The Corp is a family. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Craig'The Chef'Pearce and Jerry Flynn defeated Wesley Dante and Captain Blood when Flynn pinned Captain Blood after an inside cradle in 0:18:35. Rating: * 1/2 SPEED: What are those two doing continuing on? VIOLET: Flynn and Pearce continue on in the Lottery, much to everyone_s surprise. SPEED: Damn right, it_s surprising. Well, my match is next. Who are we facing? VIOLET: Anaconda and Doom. SPEED: @%^%#$@$!(!!!!!!!! [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Speed Racer and James'Grumpy'Moore defeated Doom and Anaconda when Speed Racer defeated Doom via pinfall in 0:09:25. Rating: * VIOLET: I can_t believe how lucky Speed was there. Grumpy was knocked out of the ring and Doom and Anaconda were set to do a Speed sandwich, but Speed ducked out of the way and the two big men crashed. Speed rolled Doom up for the win, the lucky bastard. [Round 2]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Joaquin Campos and Malekith defeated Undertow and Lou Thesz when J. Campos made Thesz submit to an airplane spin in 0:13:38. Rating: DUD VIOLET: Speed isn_t back yet, but in our final second round match, the old man Lou Thesz gave up to a Campos airplane spin. I guess Campos decided to beat Thesz with a finisher from the days when Thesz was champ. Third round action is next. (Jerry Lawler comes down to the announcers booth) JERRY: Hey Violet, have I missed anything? VIOLET: Where is Speed? JERRY: Ahhh, he_s just preparing for his next match. Wouldn_t that be great is Speed won a belt in his own league. VIOLET: Yeah, it would be just like the WWF. JERRY: Now don_t go badmouthing them. I work there too, you know. VIOLET: Yeah, I know, with that skank Sable. JERRY: Now now, Sable and I are very close....well, I like getting close to her at least. THIRD ROUND: [Round 3]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Skull Ganz and Kane defeated Joshua Gardner and Taka Michinoku when Kane pinned Michinoku with the Urban Crossfire in 0:14:53. Rating: ** 1/4 VIOLET: And the journey of Gardner and Taka ends at the hands of the formidable duo of Ganz and Kane. JERRY: Yeah, those 2 guys are known for their tag skill just with different partners. They really have meshed though. [Round 3]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Dan Sexton and Alex Star defeated New Jack and Doc Holiday when D. Sexton pinned Doc Holiday with the Deadweight in 0:06:27. Rating: 1/4* VIOLET: Alex Star is forced to face yet another stablemate and he wins again. JERRY: Yeah, Sexton hit the lush, Doc Holiday with the KKKlothesline for the win. VIOLET: That was the Deadweight and it_s not a clothesline. JERRY: It wasn_t? [Round 3]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Fenris and Super Unknown defeated The Godfather and Bolo Yeung when Fenris defeated Godfather via pinfall in 0:25:25. Rating: * 3/4 VIOLET: Fenris and Su...... JERRY: Look at the Ho_s!!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!! BRA AND PANTIES!!! VIOLET: Perv. As Jerry is drooling over here, I wanted to say that the match was a very impressive one. Basically, Bolo decided to take a rest by talking with the Ho_s on the outside. The Godfather went over to tell Bolo to wrestle. JERRY: And Bolo got that crazy look of his and whacked Godfather right in the end with a Bolo chop. Stupid move, but Bolo got the Ho_s. Wonder if he wants to share them with me....I mean someone I know. [Round 3]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Extremely Hardcore Brawler and Kaz Hayashi defeated Most Holy and Joe Public when Kaz Hayashi pinned Joe Public with the Flying Senton in 0:24:16. Rating: ** 1/2 VIOLET: We have another upset. The unlikely team of the Brawler and Kaz Hayashi continues on. JERRY: That was a great match. But I know one thing. If Brian Christopher was in the WWF, Kaz and Taka would both be eating the mat. [Round 3]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Terrance M. Garvin and Terry Austin and Hammer and Masked Fat Guy #2 battled to a draw in ::05:04. Rating: -***** VIOLET: This was an unlikely ending. Both teams started off brawling on the outside for some unknown reason and they kept brawling into the back where they were broken up security. JERRY: It wasn_t Falls count Anywhere, and I guess they just stopped the match because it got out of hand. [Round 3]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Ranma Saotome and Jimmy Crush defeated Black Mage and DOOM when Ranma pinned DOOM after a power bomb into a bridge in 0:10:40. Rating: ** 3/4 VIOLET: Ranma nails one of his patented moves on the big man, DOOM, for the win. JERRY: Those 2 little guys can really go!! VIOLET: I remember some of the great matches between Ranma and Black Mage from back in 1997. JERRY: Funny thing is, I don_t. Next!!! [Round 3]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris defeated Craig'The Chef'Pearce and Jerry Flynn when Rambler pinned Flynn after a German suplex in 0:06:04. Rating: * 3/4 JERRY: The mystical journey of Jerry Flynn comes to a close. But at least his mullet stays intact. VIOLET: Good grief. [Round 3]: No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Joaquin Campos and Malekith defeated Speed Racer and James'Grumpy'Moore when J. Campos pinned Speed Racer with the Cancun Driver in 0:19:06. Rating: * 3/4 JERRY: No way!!! Speed got pinned by Campos!! VIOLET: HA! Speed won_t like that one bit. JERRY: Who_s that Malekith character? VIOLET: Speed told me but I already forgot. JERRY: Speed is visibly angry, and he wants my spot. I_m going to go to the back and try to track down those Ho_s. VIOLET: See ya, King. SPEED: DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!! That Campos is nothing but an untalented fatass!!! VIOLET: For those of you not exactly in the know, Speed has a hatred for fatasses anytime he wrestles them. SPEED: What_s worse is that Campos is a direct ripoff of my buddy, Comedy. What a jerk!! VIOLET: The fourth round is upon us. Skull Ganz and Ghetto Boy Kane face Alex Star and Dan Sexton. ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by Susan Blake and Malik Shabazz... At a total combined weight of 678 pounds... "The Madman" Skull Ganz and "Ghetto Boy" Kane Their opponents... Led to the ring by New Jack, Jessica Carter and 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... At a total combined weight of 612 pounds... Dan Sexton and Alex Star They lock up. Kane hits Dan Sexton with a German suplex. Mr. Bitter counts: One, shoulder up. Skull Ganz enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Alex Star enters the ring and throws Skull Ganz out of the ring. Alex Star goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Kane ducks out of the way. Alex Star leaves the ring. Kane goes for a hiptoss, but Dan Sexton counters it with a facerake. Dan Sexton throws Kane out of the ring. Dan Sexton goes through the ropes. Dan Sexton whips Kane into the guardrail. Dan Sexton hits neck-scissors on Kane. They're brawling inside the ring area. Dan Sexton takes Kane down with a power bomb. Dan Sexton takes Kane down with a fistdrop. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star goes for a double arm DDT, but Kane counters it with a backdrop. Kane throws Dan Sexton back into the ring. Kane hits a forearm to the back on Dan Sexton. Kane tags out to Skull Ganz. Skull Ganz and Kane whip Dan Sexton into the ropes. They attempt to hit Dan Sexton with a double backdrop, but he counters it with a double headsmash. Kane leaves the ring. Dan Sexton executes a headbutt on Skull Ganz. Dan Sexton tags out to Alex Star. Dan Sexton hits a flying fistdrop on Skull Ganz. Alex Star locks Skull Ganz in an airplane spin. Skull Ganz tries to escape the hold. Skull Ganz tries to fight the pain. Alex Star lets go after 27 seconds. Dan Sexton hits Skull Ganz with a flying fistdrop. Alex Star gets an airplane spin on Skull Ganz. Skull Ganz is valiantly trying to break the hold. Skull Ganz breaks the hold after 9 seconds. Dan Sexton leaves the ring. Skull Ganz places Alex Star on the turnbuckle. Skull Ganz goes for a super fisherman buster, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star throws Skull Ganz off the turnbuckle. Alex Star whips Skull Ganz into the ropes. Skull Ganz hits Alex Star with a kick. Skull Ganz whips Alex Star into the ropes. Skull Ganz misses with a shoulderblock. Alex Star goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Skull Ganz counters it with a low blow. Skull Ganz tags out to Kane. Kane whips Alex Star into the ropes, but Alex Star reverses it. Alex Star misses with a clothesline. Alex Star and Kane get hit with a double clothesline. Alex Star takes Kane down with a single arm DDT. Alex Star tags out to Dan Sexton. Skull Ganz enters the ring and throws Alex Star out of the ring. Skull Ganz nails Dan Sexton with a backbreaker. Kane nails Dan Sexton with a flying kneedrop. Skull Ganz leaves the ring. Kane hits Dan Sexton with an elbowsmash. Kane hits Dan Sexton with a German suplex. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, kickout. Kane locks Dan Sexton in a chokehold. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds. Kane goes for a Boston crab, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton tags out to Alex Star. Alex Star and Dan Sexton whip Kane into the ropes. Alex Star and Dan Sexton hit Kane with a double bodyslam. Dan Sexton leaves the ring. Alex Star goes for an armbar submission, but Kane blocks it. Kane chops Alex Star. Kane punches Alex Star. Alex Star chops Kane. Alex Star chops Kane. Alex Star kicks Kane. Alex Star executes a rolling kick on Kane. Alex Star tags out to Dan Sexton. Skull Ganz enters the ring and lays out Alex Star. Skull Ganz leaves the ring. Kane locks Dan Sexton in a sleeperhold. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 10 seconds. Kane goes for a bearhug, but Dan Sexton counters it with a facerake. Dan Sexton goes for a fisherman suplex, but Kane blocks it. Kane punches Dan Sexton. Kane punches Dan Sexton. Kane throws Dan Sexton out of the ring. Kane goes through the ropes. Kane knocks Dan Sexton into the ringpost. Skull Ganz comes over to make it two-on-one. Skull Ganz uses a short clothesline on Dan Sexton. Kane puts Dan Sexton in a full nelson. Skull Ganz nails Dan Sexton with a short clothesline. Kane goes for a dragon suplex, but Dan Sexton counters it with a go-behind. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star nails Kane with a rolling kick. Dan Sexton takes Kane down with a crotch slam. Dan Sexton whips Kane into the guardrail. Dan Sexton goes for an enzuilariato, but Kane counters it with a backward kick. Skull Ganz comes over to make it two-on-one. Kane and Skull Ganz hit Dan Sexton with a double bodyslam. Kane is handed the tire iron. Kane takes a swing at Dan Sexton with the tire iron, but he gets out of the way. Dan Sexton snatches the tire iron from him. Dan Sexton hits him with the tire iron. Dan Sexton uses a Gorilla Press on Kane. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star uses a rolling kick on Kane. Dan Sexton goes for a crotch slam, but Kane counters it with a facerake. Kane executes the Urban Crossfire on Dan Sexton on the concrete floor. Kane goes for a dragon suplex, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton goes for a power bomb, but Kane blocks it. Skull Ganz comes over to make it two-on-one. Skull Ganz goes for a back suplex, but Dan Sexton turns in mid-air and lands on him. Dan Sexton goes for neck-scissors, but Kane ducks out of the way. Skull Ganz comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star comes over and lays out Skull Ganz. Alex Star hits Kane with a thrust kick to the head. Dan Sexton hits a crotch slam on Kane. They're brawling inside the ring area. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star hits Kane with a short lariat. Dan Sexton uses a bridging back suplex on Kane. Dan Sexton knocks Kane into the ringsteps. Dan Sexton executes an earringer on Kane. Dan Sexton reenters the ring. Kane follows him back in. Dan Sexton gives him an earringer, but Kane only stares at him. Dan Sexton chops Kane. Dan Sexton hits Kane. Kane hits Dan Sexton. Dan Sexton kicks Kane. Dan Sexton chops Kane. Dan Sexton executes the Deadweight on Kane. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Dan Sexton goes for a power bomb, but Kane blocks it. Kane executes a heart punch on Dan Sexton. Kane hits a forearm to the back on Dan Sexton. Kane runs into the ropes. Dan Sexton hits Kane with a flying clothesline. Dan Sexton tags out to Alex Star. Alex Star and Dan Sexton whip Kane into the ropes. They hit Kane with a double clothesline. Dan Sexton leaves the ring. Alex Star whips Kane into the ropes. Kane misses with a clothesline. Kane hits Alex Star with a shoulderblock. Skull Ganz enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Kane and Skull Ganz hit Alex Star with a double bodyslam. Dan Sexton enters the ring, but gets cut off. Skull Ganz executes a short clothesline on Alex Star. Kane uses a dragon suplex on Alex Star. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, kickout. Kane and Skull Ganz whip Alex Star into the ropes. They hit Alex Star with a double clothesline. Skull Ganz leaves the ring. Kane throws Alex Star out of the ring. Kane goes through the ropes. Kane is handed a toilet seat. Kane hits him with the toilet seat. Kane executes a hiptoss on Alex Star. Skull Ganz comes over to make it two-on-one. Dan Sexton comes over, but gets cut off. Kane and Skull Ganz hit Alex Star with a double kneelift. Kane whips Alex Star into the guardrail. Skull Ganz comes over to make it two-on-one. Dan Sexton comes over and lays out Skull Ganz. Dan Sexton gives him a flying fistdrop, but Kane doesn't even care. Alex Star locks Kane in an airplane spin. Dan Sexton comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star and Dan Sexton hit Kane with a double bodyslam. Alex Star nails Kane with a diamond cutter. Alex Star goes for a flying spinning leg lariat, but Kane ducks out of the way. Skull Ganz comes over to make it two-on-one. Skull Ganz nails Alex Star with a lariat. Kane hits a German suplex on Alex Star. Skull Ganz goes for a short clothesline, but Alex Star counters it with a belly-to-belly suplex. Dan Sexton comes over to make it two-on-one. Skull Ganz comes over and lays out Dan Sexton. Kane whips Alex Star into the guardrail. Kane is handed a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Kane hits him with the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Kane goes for a football tackle, but Alex Star counters it with a kick to the head. They're brawling inside the ring area. Dan Sexton comes over to make it two-on-one. Skull Ganz comes over and lays out Dan Sexton. Skull Ganz goes for a power bomb, but Alex Star blocks it. Dan Sexton uses a dropkick on Kane. Alex Star goes for an airplane spin, but Kane counters it with a facerake. Kane hits a bodyslam on Alex Star. Skull Ganz comes over to make it two-on-one. Skull Ganz hits the Running Forearm Smash on Alex Star. Kane takes Alex Star down with an enzuigiri. Skull Ganz nails Alex Star with a bodyslam. Kane goes for a flying kneedrop, but New Jack shoves him off the turnbuckle. Alex Star executes a standing moonsault on Kane. Alex Star throws Kane back into the ring. Alex Star executes the Starscream on Kane. Kane is struggling to reach the ropes. Kane tries to escape the hold. Kane summons one last burst of energy. Kane submits after 15 seconds. The winners are Dan Sexton and Alex Star. Time of match: 0:14:07 ~~~~~ VIOLET: I hate Star but his new finisher is quite formidable. SPEED: Ahhhh, he still blows. Sexton is carrying that team, dammit!! VIOLET: I don_t know about that! SPEED: I said it so it_s gospel to you. VIOLET: Yes MASTAH!!! Next up, Fenris and SuperUnknown take on the Brawler and Kaz Hayashi. ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by Rachel Morris and Sweet Leaf... At a total combined weight of 495 pounds... "Hollywood" Fenris and Super Unknown Their opponents... Led to the ring by Teddy Long... At a total combined weight of 549 pounds... Extremely Hardcore Brawler and Kaz Hayashi -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They lock up. Super Unknown whips Kaz Hayashi into the ropes. Super Unknown goes for a faceslam, but Kaz Hayashi blocks it. Kaz Hayashi kicks Super Unknown. Kaz Hayashi chops Super Unknown. Kaz Hayashi goes for a brain buster, but Super Unknown counters it with a headbutt. Fenris enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Super Unknown and Fenris whip Kaz Hayashi into the ropes. They hit Kaz Hayashi with a double backdrop. Fenris leaves the ring. Super Unknown whips Kaz Hayashi into the ropes. Kaz Hayashi misses with an elbow. Super Unknown misses with a kick. Super Unknown misses with a shoulderblock. Super Unknown hits Kaz Hayashi with a shoulderblock. Super Unknown takes Kaz Hayashi down with a double-axhandle chop. Super Unknown attempts to place Kaz Hayashi on the turnbuckle, but Kaz Hayashi blocks it. Super Unknown hits a dropkick on Kaz Hayashi. Kaz Hayashi runs into the ropes. Super Unknown hits Kaz Hayashi with a clothesline. Super Unknown whips Kaz Hayashi into the ropes, but Kaz Hayashi reverses it. Kaz Hayashi misses with a clothesline. Super Unknown goes for the SuperUnknown Driver, but Kaz Hayashi counters it with a small package. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Kaz Hayashi goes for a kick to the midsection, but Super Unknown blocks it. Super Unknown nails Kaz Hayashi with a European uppercut. Super Unknown goes for a full nelson, but Kaz Hayashi counters it with a reverse cradle. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Kaz Hayashi attempts to place Super Unknown on the turnbuckle, but Super Unknown blocks it. Kaz Hayashi chops Super Unknown. Kaz Hayashi chops Super Unknown. Kaz Hayashi punches Super Unknown. Super Unknown chops Kaz Hayashi. Super Unknown kicks Kaz Hayashi. Super Unknown throws Kaz Hayashi out of the ring. Super Unknown goes through the ropes. Fenris comes over to make it two-on-one. Fenris executes a butt-bump on Kaz Hayashi. Super Unknown goes for a dragon suplex, but Kaz Hayashi counters it with a go-behind. Kaz Hayashi whips Super Unknown into the guardrail. Kaz Hayashi reenters the ring. Super Unknown follows him back in. Kaz Hayashi leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Kaz Hayashi runs into the ropes and springs off the chair. Kaz Hayashi uses a spinning leg lariat on Super Unknown. Super Unknown bumps into Tiger Hattori. Kaz Hayashi tags out to Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Kaz Hayashi goes for a jumping side kick, but Super Unknown ducks out of the way. Kaz Hayashi leaves the ring. Super Unknown hits a neck snap on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Fenris enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi enters the ring, but gets cut off. Fenris nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a butt-bump. Super Unknown uses an enzuigiri on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown and Fenris whip Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ropes. They hit Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a double elbowsmash. Fenris leaves the ring. Super Unknown takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a flying clothesline. Tiger Hattori is back on the job. Super Unknown tags out to Fenris. Super Unknown nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with an enzuigiri to the face. Fenris goes for a full nelson, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a jawbreaker. Super Unknown leaves the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Fenris down with an eye gouge. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Fenris with a powerslam. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Extremely Hardcore Brawler complains about a slow count. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tags out to Kaz Hayashi. Super Unknown enters the ring, but gets cut off. Kaz Hayashi and Extremely Hardcore Brawler whip Fenris into the ropes. They hit Fenris with a double fist to the midsection. Kaz Hayashi and Extremely Hardcore Brawler whip Fenris into the ropes. They hit Fenris with a double fist to the midsection. Kaz Hayashi and Extremely Hardcore Brawler hit Fenris with a double flying axhandle. Super Unknown gets back up and lays out Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown leaves the ring. Fenris goes for a full nelson, but Kaz Hayashi counters it with a backward kick. Tiger Hattori removes the chair from the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi and Extremely Hardcore Brawler whip Fenris into the ropes. They hit Fenris with a double elbowsmash. Extremely Hardcore Brawler leaves the ring. Kaz Hayashi gives him a slap, but Fenris only stares at him. Kaz Hayashi chops Fenris. Kaz Hayashi chops Fenris. Fenris kicks Kaz Hayashi. Fenris punches Kaz Hayashi. Kaz Hayashi gives him a spin kick, but Fenris doesn't even care. Fenris tags out to Super Unknown. Fenris goes for a butt-bump, but Kaz Hayashi ducks out of the way. Fenris hits Super Unknown. Kaz Hayashi goes for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, in the ropes... Fenris leaves the ring. Kaz Hayashi leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Kaz Hayashi runs into the ropes and springs off the chair. Kaz Hayashi nails Super Unknown with a rana. Kaz Hayashi runs into the ropes. Super Unknown uses a legsweep on Kaz Hayashi. Super Unknown throws Kaz Hayashi out of the ring. Super Unknown jumps onto him with Asai moonsault. Super Unknown goes for the SuperUnknown Driver, but Kaz Hayashi counters it with a small package. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi knocks Super Unknown into the ringsteps. Kaz Hayashi knocks Super Unknown into the ringsteps. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi goes for a Frankensteiner, but Super Unknown counters it with a tiger driver. Super Unknown sets up a table. Super Unknown uses a Frankensteiner on Kaz Hayashi. Fenris comes over to make it two-on-one. Super Unknown hits Kaz Hayashi with a double underhook backbreaker. Super Unknown goes for the SuperUnknown Driver, but Kaz Hayashi counters it with a small package. They're brawling inside the ring area. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi hits a German suplex on Super Unknown. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi is handed a sledgehammer. Kaz Hayashi hits him with the sledgehammer. Kaz Hayashi whips Super Unknown into the guardrail. Kaz Hayashi goes for a dropkick, but Super Unknown side-steps and Kaz Hayashi only hits air. Fenris comes over to make it two-on-one. They're brawling inside the ring area. Super Unknown sets up Kaz Hayashi on the table. Super Unknown tries to drive Kaz Hayashi through the table with a belly-to-belly superplex, but he blocks it. Kaz Hayashi reenters the ring. Super Unknown follows him back in. Kaz Hayashi climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Super Unknown nails him in the stomach. Kaz Hayashi falls onto the top turnbuckle. Kaz Hayashi falls back into the ring. Super Unknown is going for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Super Unknown goes for a football tackle, but Kaz Hayashi side-steps and Super Unknown only hits air. Kaz Hayashi is going for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Kaz Hayashi throws Super Unknown out of the ring. Kaz Hayashi jumps onto him with a running 180 plancha. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi whips Super Unknown into the guardrail. Kaz Hayashi reenters the ring. Super Unknown follows him back in. Kaz Hayashi nails Super Unknown with a bodyslam. Kaz Hayashi hits Super Unknown with a bodyslam. Kaz Hayashi runs into the ropes. Kaz Hayashi and Super Unknown get hit with a double clothesline. Kaz Hayashi runs into the ropes. Kaz Hayashi misses with a kick. Kaz Hayashi takes Super Unknown down with a rana. Tiger Hattori counts: One, kickout. Tiger Hattori removes the chair from the ring. Kaz Hayashi goes for a kick to the midsection, but Super Unknown blocks it. Super Unknown nails Kaz Hayashi with a faceslam. Super Unknown executes a faceslam on Kaz Hayashi. Super Unknown attempts to place Kaz Hayashi on the turnbuckle, but Kaz Hayashi blocks it. Super Unknown locks Kaz Hayashi in a full nelson. Kaz Hayashi tries to escape the hold. Kaz Hayashi reaches the ropes after being trapped for 11 seconds. Super Unknown takes Kaz Hayashi down with a dropkick. Super Unknown nails Kaz Hayashi with a moonsault. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, KICKOUT. Kaz Hayashi tags out to Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Kaz Hayashi leaves the ring. Super Unknown takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with an enzuigiri to the face. Super Unknown tags out to Fenris. Super Unknown leaves the ring. Fenris hits a power bomb on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Fenris places Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the turnbuckle. Fenris executes a belly-to-belly superplex on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Fenris attempts to place Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the turnbuckle, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Fenris whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ropes. Fenris misses with a shoulderblock. Fenris hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with an elbow. Fenris nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a flying bodypress. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Fenris places Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the turnbuckle. Fenris executes a belly-to-belly superplex on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Fenris locks Extremely Hardcore Brawler in a full nelson. Extremely Hardcore Brawler reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Fenris hits a belly-to-belly suplex on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Fenris is going for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Fenris goes for a kick to the midsection, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a pencil jab to the forehead, but Fenris blocks it. Super Unknown enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Super Unknown leaves the ring. Fenris throws Extremely Hardcore Brawler out of the ring. Fenris goes through the ropes. Super Unknown comes over to make it two-on-one. Fenris sets up Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the table. Fenris executes a power bomb through the table. The table is broken in half. Fenris knocks Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ringsteps. Super Unknown comes over to make it two-on-one. Rachel Morris comes from behind, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Rachel Morris. Fenris executes the Fire And The Fury on Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the concrete floor. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is out cold. Fenris whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the guardrail. Super Unknown comes over to make it two-on-one. Fenris hits a flying clothesline on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown comes over to make it two-on-one. Fenris goes for the Fire And The Fury, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a backward kick. Extremely Hardcore Brawler grabs a chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes a running start and springs off the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for an inverted DDT, but Fenris blocks it. Super Unknown comes over to make it two-on-one. Fenris sets up a table. Fenris sets up Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the table. Fenris tries to drive Extremely Hardcore Brawler through the table with a flying bodypress, but he moves out of the way. The table is broken in half. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Fenris into the guardrail. Kaz Hayashi comes over to make it two-on-one. Rachel Morris comes from behind, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Rachel Morris. Super Unknown comes over to make it two-on-one. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is busted wide open. Super Unknown comes over to make it two-on-one. Fenris is handed the weight belt. Fenris takes a swing at Extremely Hardcore Brawler with the weight belt, but he gets out of the way. Extremely Hardcore Brawler snatches the weight belt from him. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits him with the weight belt. Extremely Hardcore Brawler throws Fenris back into the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Fenris with a slingshot legdrop. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Fenris down with a kick to the midsection. Extremely Hardcore Brawler sets up the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler gives him a powerslam, but Fenris only stares at him. Fenris goes for an armbar submission, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Kaz Hayashi enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi leaves the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler runs into the ropes. Extremely Hardcore Brawler misses with a kick. Extremely Hardcore Brawler gives him a lariat, but Fenris doesn't budge. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Fenris down with a series of knees. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is going for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Extremely Hardcore Brawler leaves the ring. He returns with the chair with "ASS" painted on it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits him with the chair with "ASS" painted on it. Tiger Hattori throws the chair with "ASS" painted on it out of the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Fenris down with an inverted DDT. Fenris begs off. Kaz Hayashi enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi leaves the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler sets up the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a DDT onto the chair on Fenris. Fenris begs off. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Fenris with a pencil jab to the forehead. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes a series of knees on Fenris. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Fenris into the ropes, but Fenris reverses it. Fenris nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a flying clothesline. Fenris executes the Fire And The Fury on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, Kaz Hayashi makes the save. Fenris tags out to Super Unknown. Fenris leaves the ring. Super Unknown whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ropes, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler reverses it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a chokehold, but Super Unknown counters it with a kick to the midsection. Super Unknown runs into the ropes. Super Unknown misses with an elbow. Super Unknown goes for a flying clothesline, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler ducks out of the way. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Super Unknown into the turnbuckle, but Super Unknown reverses it. Super Unknown executes a chop to the throat on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown uses a series of kicks to the midsection on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a series of punches. Fenris enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Fenris leaves the ring. Super Unknown goes for a moonsault, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler gets his knees up. Extremely Hardcore Brawler leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler sets up the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a powerslam, but Super Unknown counters it with a roundhouse kick. Fenris enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Fenris leaves the ring. Super Unknown executes a double-axhandle chop on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ropes, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler reverses it. Super Unknown executes a football tackle on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a football tackle. Super Unknown chops Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown kicks Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown hits a European uppercut on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Tiger Hattori removes the chair from the ring. Super Unknown chops Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown kicks Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Super Unknown. Extremely Hardcore Brawler kicks Super Unknown. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a piledriver, but Super Unknown blocks it. Super Unknown takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with an enzuigiri. Super Unknown hits an enzuigiri to the face on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Super Unknown goes for a moonsault, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler gets his knees up. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes a fistdrop on Super Unknown. Extremely Hardcore Brawler holds up his chair and yells "ASS!!!". Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Super Unknown down with a lariat. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is going for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Super Unknown with a flying bulldog. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Super Unknown down with a powerslam. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, three. The winners are Extremely Hardcore Brawler and Kaz Hayashi. Time of match: 0:17:12 ~~~~~~ SPEED: DAMN! Hollywood is eliminated and that doesn_t suit me too well. Especially losing to these 2. VIOLET: Hey, Brawler and Kaz have been a great tandem so far. I think they could go all the way. SPEED: Oh yeah, Extremely Hardcore Brawler as World Champ. Whatever. VIOLET: How rude! Next up, Crippler Wade and Mark Paris face Joaquin Campos and the unknown Malekith. SPEED: You mean the fatass and the indy worker looking for a job against a hall of famer and the CORPORATE CHAMP!!! ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by J.T. Chisom, Rachel Morris and Jenna Jameson... At a total combined weight of 468 pounds... Tim'The Rambler'Wade and "The Hardcore Revolutionary" Mark Paris Their opponents... Led to the ring by 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson and New Jack... At a total combined weight of 664 pounds... "El Loco Luchador" Joaquin Campos and "The Dark One" Malekith They lock up. Joaquin Campos goes for a DDT, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade gives him a facerake, but Joaquin Campos doesn't budge. Tim'The Rambler'Wade nails Joaquin Campos with a chop. Tim'The Rambler'Wade takes Joaquin Campos down with a European uppercut. Tim'The Rambler'Wade kicks Joaquin Campos. Joaquin Campos punches Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Joaquin Campos punches Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Joaquin Campos nails Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a double-axhandle chop. Joaquin Campos whips Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the turnbuckle, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade reverses it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Joaquin Campos moves out of the way. Joaquin Campos goes for a brain buster, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade counters it with a vertical suplex. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes neck-scissors on Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade tags out to Mark Paris. Malekith enters the ring and throws Tim'The Rambler'Wade out of the ring. Malekith hits a Tombstone on Mark Paris. Joaquin Campos hits Mark Paris with a spinning DDT. Malekith leaves the ring. Joaquin Campos whips Mark Paris into the ropes. Mark Paris goes for a back heel kick, but Joaquin Campos blocks it. Joaquin Campos hits a double underhook suplex on Mark Paris. Joaquin Campos executes a DDT on Mark Paris. Joaquin Campos runs into the ropes. Mark Paris executes a back heel kick on Joaquin Campos. Mark Paris tags out to Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Mark Paris uses a DDT on Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits a flying bulldog on Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris whip Joaquin Campos into the ropes. They hit Joaquin Campos with a double clothesline. Mark Paris leaves the ring. Tim'The Rambler'Wade nails Joaquin Campos with a facerake. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Joaquin Campos with a diving shoulderblock. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a kick to the thigh, but Joaquin Campos blocks it. Joaquin Campos goes for an octopus hold, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade gives him a roundhouse right, but Joaquin Campos only stares at him. Tim'The Rambler'Wade gives him a chop, but Joaquin Campos doesn't budge. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits a chop on Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade whips Joaquin Campos into the turnbuckle, but Joaquin Campos reverses it. Joaquin Campos runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade lifts his knee. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for an enzuilariato, but Joaquin Campos ducks out of the way. Joaquin Campos places Tim'The Rambler'Wade on the turnbuckle. Joaquin Campos hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a belly-to-back superplex. Joaquin Campos goes for a short lariat, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes an enzuilariato on Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade gives him a flying bulldog, but Joaquin Campos only stares at him. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits a kick to the thigh on Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade gives him a single-leg takedown, but Joaquin Campos only stares at him. Tim'The Rambler'Wade punches Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade kicks Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade punches Joaquin Campos. Mark Paris enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris whip Joaquin Campos into the ropes. They hit Joaquin Campos with a double backdrop. Mark Paris leaves the ring. Tim'The Rambler'Wade throws Joaquin Campos out of the ring. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes through the ropes. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris goes for a football tackle, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a DDT .Joaquin Campos whips Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the guardrail. Joaquin Campos whips Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the guardrail. Joaquin Campos goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade counters it with a punch. They're brawling inside the ring area. Joaquin Campos goes for a power bomb, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade uses a single-leg takedown on Joaquin Campos. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris goes for a back heel kick, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a legsweep. Joaquin Campos takes Tim'The Rambler'Wade down with a Russian legsweep. Joaquin Campos uses a brain buster on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. They're brawling inside the ring area. Tim'The Rambler'Wade gives him a roundhouse right, but Joaquin Campos doesn't budge. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris goes for a football tackle, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a DDT Joaquin Campos sets up a table. Malekith comes over to make it two-on-one. Malekith uses a Tombstone on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Joaquin Campos nails Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a flying axhandle. Mark Paris comes over and lays out Malekith. Mark Paris gives him a football tackle, but Joaquin Campos only stares at him. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for an enzuilariato, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a single-leg takedown. Joaquin Campos and Malekith hit Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a double backdrop driver. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson comes from behind and distracts Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Joaquin Campos knocks Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the ringpost. Joaquin Campos whips Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the guardrail. Joaquin Campos executes the ChokeBomb on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Malekith comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris comes over, but gets cut off. Malekith hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a Death Valley Driver. Joaquin Campos executes a flying axhandle on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Joaquin Campos goes for the Cancun Driver, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade counters it with a fist to the midsection. They're brawling inside the ring area. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris gives him a DDT, but Joaquin Campos doesn't budge. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Joaquin Campos with a flying bodypress. Tim'The Rambler'Wade reenters the ring. Joaquin Campos follows him back in. Tim'The Rambler'Wade tags out to Mark Paris. Mark Paris and Tim'The Rambler'Wade whip Joaquin Campos into the ropes. They hit Joaquin Campos with a double kick to the midsection. Malekith enters the ring, but gets cut off. Mark Paris and Tim'The Rambler'Wade whip Joaquin Campos into the ropes. They attempt to hit Joaquin Campos with a double elbowsmash, but he counters it with a duck-down move. Joaquin Campos hits them with a double clothesline. Tim'The Rambler'Wade leaves the ring. Joaquin Campos goes for a Western lariat, but Mark Paris counters it with a crucifix. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, kickout. Mark Paris puts Joaquin Campos in a chokehold. Joaquin Campos reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Mark Paris goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Joaquin Campos ducks out of the way. Joaquin Campos kicks Mark Paris. Joaquin Campos punches Mark Paris. Mark Paris hits Joaquin Campos. Joaquin Campos chops Mark Paris. Joaquin Campos hits Mark Paris. Mark Paris hits Joaquin Campos. Mark Paris chops Joaquin Campos. Mark Paris goes for the Ace Crusher, but Joaquin Campos blocks it. Joaquin Campos tags out to Malekith. Malekith and Joaquin Campos whip Mark Paris into the ropes. They hit Mark Paris with a double clothesline. Malekith and Joaquin Campos whip Mark Paris into the ropes. They hit Mark Paris with a double clothesline. Joaquin Campos leaves the ring. Malekith throws Mark Paris out of the ring. Malekith goes through the ropes. Joaquin Campos comes over to make it two-on-one. Joaquin Campos executes a thrust kick to the head on Mark Paris. Malekith takes Mark Paris down with a back suplex. Malekith knocks Mark Paris into the ringsteps. Malekith whips Mark Paris into the guardrail. Joaquin Campos comes over to make it two-on-one. Tim'The Rambler'Wade comes over and lays out Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes a jumping side kick on Malekith. Mark Paris locks Malekith in a sleeperhold. Mark Paris whips Malekith into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Tim'The Rambler'Wade comes over to make it two-on-one. Joaquin Campos comes over and lays out Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Joaquin Campos uses a backdrop driver on Mark Paris. Malekith hits Mark Paris with a flying senton. Malekith sets up Mark Paris on the table. Malekith tries to drive Mark Paris through the table with a flying senton, but he moves out of the way. The table is broken in half. Mark Paris executes a football tackle on Malekith. Mark Paris sets up a table. They're brawling inside the ring area. Jenna Jameson comes from behind and distracts Malekith. Tim'The Rambler'Wade comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris and Tim'The Rambler'Wade hit Malekith with a double bodyslam. Mark Paris whips Malekith into the guardrail. Mark Paris whips Malekith into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Malekith hits Mark Paris with a catwalk spinning leg lariat. Joaquin Campos comes over to make it two-on-one. Joaquin Campos hits Mark Paris with a thrust kick to the head. Malekith hits Mark Paris with a back suplex. Malekith and Joaquin Campos hit Mark Paris with a double bulldog headlock. Joaquin Campos executes a short lariat on Mark Paris. Malekith executes an enzuigiri on Mark Paris. Malekith and Joaquin Campos hit Mark Paris with a double backdrop driver. Tim'The Rambler'Wade comes over and lays out Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade uses a Samoan Drop on Malekith. Mark Paris goes for a 450 splash, but Malekith gets his knees up. Tim'The Rambler'Wade comes over, but gets cut off. Malekith and Joaquin Campos hit Mark Paris with a double bulldog headlock. Joaquin Campos nails Mark Paris with a short lariat. Malekith goes for a cobra clutch, but Mark Paris blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade comes over to make it two-on-one. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Malekith with a jumping side kick. Mark Paris puts Malekith in a sleeperhold. Mark Paris is handed a wrench. Mark Paris takes a swing at Malekith with the wrench, but he gets out of the way. Malekith snatches the wrench from him. Malekith takes a swing at Mark Paris with the wrench, but he gets out of the way. Mark Paris snatches the wrench from him. Mark Paris hits him with the wrench. Mark Paris sets up Malekith on the table. Mark Paris executes a DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. Mark Paris reenters the ring. Malekith follows him back in. Mark Paris is going for the pin. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, KICKOUT. Mark Paris begs off. Malekith whips Mark Paris into the ropes. Mark Paris nails Malekith with the Running Forearm Smash. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, kickout. Mark Paris complains about a slow count. Mark Paris nails Malekith with a series of forearm smashes. Mark Paris puts Malekith in a sleeperhold. Malekith is valiantly trying to break the hold. Malekith is inching his way towards the ropes. Malekith reaches the ropes after being trapped for 24 seconds. Mark Paris tags out to Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris whip Malekith into the ropes. They hit Malekith with a double clothesline. Mark Paris leaves the ring. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a roundhouse right, but Malekith counters it with an armbreaker. Tim'The Rambler'Wade takes the ring bell and uses it on him. He goes for the pin. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, Joaquin Campos makes the save. Malekith whips Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the ropes, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade reverses it. Malekith uses a handspring into a Frankensteiner on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Malekith throws Tim'The Rambler'Wade out of the ring. Malekith goes through the ropes. Joaquin Campos comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris comes over and lays out Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris hit Malekith with a double bodyslam. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris hit Malekith with a double bodyslam. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a European uppercut, but Malekith counters it with a backslide. Joaquin Campos comes over to make it two-on-one. Malekith and Joaquin Campos hit Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a double bulldog headlock. Malekith and Joaquin Campos hit Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a double bulldog headlock. Malekith and Joaquin Campos hit Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a double bulldog headlock. Joaquin Campos comes over to make it two-on-one. Joaquin Campos uses a short lariat on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Malekith uses an enzuigiri on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Mark Paris comes over and lays out Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris hit Malekith with a double bodyslam. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris hits a Samoan Drop on Malekith. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a flying bulldog, but Malekith side-steps and Tim'The Rambler'Wade only hits air. Malekith hits a tilt-a-whirl suplex on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Malekith knocks Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the ringsteps. Malekith whips Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the guardrail. Malekith goes for a Tombstone, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade reverses it. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Joaquin Campos comes over and lays out Mark Paris. Malekith and Joaquin Campos hit Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a double backdrop driver. Malekith hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a Tombstone. Joaquin Campos comes over to make it two-on-one. Malekith and Joaquin Campos hit Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a double bulldog headlock. Malekith is handed a road sign. Malekith hits him with the road sign. Malekith goes for a catwalk spinning leg lariat, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade ducks out of the way. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris nails Malekith with a back heel kick. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a German suplex, but Malekith counters it with a go-behind. Malekith executes a hiptoss on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Joaquin Campos comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris comes over and lays out Joaquin Campos. Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris hit Malekith with a double bodyslam. Tim'The Rambler'Wade uses a diving shoulderblock on Malekith. J.T. Chisom comes from behind and distracts Malekith. They're brawling inside the ring area. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes a Samoan Drop on Malekith. Tim'The Rambler'Wade whips Malekith into the guardrail. Tim'The Rambler'Wade nails Malekith with a somersault splash. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris goes for a back heel kick, but Malekith ducks out of the way. Mark Paris hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Joaquin Campos tangles up Mark Paris. Malekith goes for the pin. Darren Lloyd counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Malekith sets up a table. Malekith is handed the tire iron. Malekith hits him with the tire iron. Malekith sets up Tim'The Rambler'Wade on the table. Malekith tries to drive Tim'The Rambler'Wade through the table with a Tombstone, but he blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade reenters the ring. Malekith follows him back in. Tim'The Rambler'Wade takes Malekith down with a diving shoulderblock. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes the Crippler on Malekith. Malekith tries to escape the hold. Malekith tries to fight the pain. Malekith submits after 9 seconds. The winners are Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris. Time of match: 0:18:48 ~~~~~ SPEED: YES!!! There is justice in the world. VIOLET: Wade defeats Malekith with his painful hold. SPEED: Man, these 2 are going to go all the way!!!! I feel it. VIOLET: Dan Sexton and Alex Star will now face the Brawler and Kaz Hayashi in our semifinals. ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by New Jack, Jessica Carter and 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... At a total combined weight of 612 pounds... Dan Sexton and Alex Star Their opponents... Led to the ring by Teddy Long... At a total combined weight of 549 pounds... Extremely Hardcore Brawler and Kaz Hayashi They lock up. Alex Star hits a diamond cutter on Kaz Hayashi. Mr. Bitter counts: One, shoulder up. Alex Star hits a Russian legsweep on Kaz Hayashi. Alex Star places his foot over his opponent's eye and spins it.. Alex Star throws Kaz Hayashi out of the ring. Alex Star goes through the ropes. Alex Star knocks Kaz Hayashi into the ringsteps. Dan Sexton comes over to make it two-on-one. Dan Sexton nails Kaz Hayashi with a dropkick. Alex Star gets an airplane spin on Kaz Hayashi. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over, but gets cut off. Dan Sexton takes Kaz Hayashi down with a lariat. Alex Star goes for an airplane spin, but Kaz Hayashi counters it with a facerake . Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Extremely Hardcore Brawler grabs a chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes a running start and springs off the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a lariat on Alex Star. Kaz Hayashi takes Alex Star down with a German suplex. Kaz Hayashi takes Alex Star down with a slap. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes a running start and springs off the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a kick to the head on Alex Star. Kaz Hayashi hits Alex Star with a dragon suplex. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson comes from behind and distracts Kaz Hayashi. They're brawling inside the ring area. Alex Star goes for a short lariat, but Kaz Hayashi counters it with a crucifix. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Alex Star with an inverted DDT. Kaz Hayashi takes Alex Star down with a flying cross body press. Dan Sexton comes over and lays out Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Alex Star and Dan Sexton hit Kaz Hayashi with a double flying axhandle. Alex Star is handed a bottle. Alex Star hits him with the bottle. Alex Star executes a dropkick to the groin on Kaz Hayashi. Kaz Hayashi whips Alex Star into the guardrail. Extremely Hardcore Brawler comes over to make it two-on-one. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes a running start and springs off the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Alex Star with a lariat. Kaz Hayashi goes for a German suplex, but Alex Star counters it with a facerake. Alex Star whips Kaz Hayashi into the guardrail. Alex Star goes for a brain buster, but Kaz Hayashi slides down his back. Kaz Hayashi throws Alex Star back into the ring. Kaz Hayashi goes for a spin kick, but Alex Star ducks out of the way. Alex Star tags out to Dan Sexton. Dan Sexton and Alex Star whip Kaz Hayashi into the ropes. They hit Kaz Hayashi with a double backdrop. Dan Sexton and Alex Star whip Kaz Hayashi into the ropes. They hit Kaz Hayashi with a double clothesline. Alex Star goes for a brain buster, but Kaz Hayashi slides down his back. Alex Star rolls out of the ring. Kaz Hayashi goes for a spin kick, but Dan Sexton ducks out of the way. Dan Sexton nails Kaz Hayashi with an inverted backbreaker. Alex Star enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Dan Sexton and Alex Star whip Kaz Hayashi into the ropes. They hit Kaz Hayashi with a double clothesline. Dan Sexton and Alex Star whip Kaz Hayashi into the ropes. They attempt to hit Kaz Hayashi with a double fist to the midsection, but he counters it with a double clothesline. Alex Star leaves the ring. Kaz Hayashi hits a slap on Dan Sexton. Kaz Hayashi tags out to Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler and Kaz Hayashi whip Dan Sexton into the ropes. They hit Dan Sexton with a double clothesline. Kaz Hayashi goes for a spinning leg lariat, but Dan Sexton ducks out of the way. Kaz Hayashi leaves the ring. Dan Sexton goes for a powerslam, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a lariat. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is going for the pin. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, kickout. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a kick to the head on Dan Sexton. Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Dan Sexton with a fistdrop. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tags out to Kaz Hayashi. Kaz Hayashi nails Dan Sexton with a hiptoss. Kaz Hayashi whips Dan Sexton into the ropes. Dan Sexton misses with a clothesline. Kaz Hayashi uses a spin kick on Dan Sexton. Kaz Hayashi tags out to Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Kaz Hayashi uses a bodyslam on Dan Sexton. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Dan Sexton with a flying bulldog. Kaz Hayashi leaves the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a dropkick to the groin, but Dan Sexton side-steps and Extremely Hardcore Brawler only hits air. Dan Sexton throws Extremely Hardcore Brawler out of the ring. Dan Sexton goes through the ropes. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a backdrop. Kaz Hayashi comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi takes Dan Sexton down with a spinning leg lariat. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a knee to the groin, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a low blow. Extremely Hardcore Brawler reenters the ring. Dan Sexton follows him back in. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a clawhold, but Dan Sexton counters it with a low blow. Dan Sexton whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the turnbuckle. Dan Sexton hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with an elbowsmash. Dan Sexton hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a headbutt. Dan Sexton executes a forearm smash on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Alex Star enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Dan Sexton and Alex Star whip Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ropes. They hit Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a double backdrop. Alex Star goes for a Russian legsweep, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with an elbowsmash. Alex Star rolls out of the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler catches Dan Sexton in a clawhold. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds. Extremely Hardcore Brawler uses a series of headbutts on Dan Sexton. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a series of headbutts on Dan Sexton. Extremely Hardcore Brawler locks Dan Sexton in a clawhold. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Dan Sexton with a piledriver. Extremely Hardcore Brawler throws Dan Sexton out of the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes through the ropes. Kaz Hayashi comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star comes over and lays out Kaz Hayashi. Dan Sexton executes the Deadweight on Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the concrete floor. They're brawling inside the ring area. Dan Sexton nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with neck-scissors. Dan Sexton knocks Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ringsteps. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi comes over, but gets cut off. Alex Star takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with the Running Forearm Smash. Dan Sexton goes for a crotch slam, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a facerake. Kaz Hayashi comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi nails Dan Sexton with a jumping side kick. Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Dan Sexton with an inside cradle. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is handed the chair with "ASS" painted on it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits him with the chair with "ASS" painted on it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Dan Sexton into the guardrail. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for headbutt to the groin, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton knocks Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ringsteps. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a thrust kick to the head. Dan Sexton nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a crotch slam. Kaz Hayashi comes over and lays out Alex Star. Kaz Hayashi hits a jumping side kick on Dan Sexton. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for an inside cradle, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton executes neck-scissors on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Kaz Hayashi comes over and lays out Alex Star. Kaz Hayashi uses a spin kick on Dan Sexton. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a cobra clutch, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton reenters the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler follows him back in. Dan Sexton runs into the ropes. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Dan Sexton with a kick. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes the Full Nelson...Of Pain on Dan Sexton. Dan Sexton is valiantly trying to break the hold. Dan Sexton is inching his way towards the ropes. Dan Sexton summons one last burst of energy. Mr. Bitter checks Dan Sexton's arm. He lifts it... it stays up ! Dan Sexton fights his way out of the hold after 32 seconds. Dan Sexton uses an inverted atomic drop on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Dan Sexton uses an enzuilariato on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Dan Sexton is going for the pin. Mr. Bitter counts: One, shoulder up. Dan Sexton takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a powerslam. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, shoulder up. Dan Sexton goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a low blow. Paul Vega and Corey Johnson come to ringside. Extremely Hardcore Brawler runs into the ropes. Extremely Hardcore Brawler misses with a clothesline. Dan Sexton misses with an elbow. Dan Sexton uses a hiptoss on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Dan Sexton hits a flying clothesline on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Dan Sexton hits a fisherman suplex on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, kickout. Dan Sexton hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a headbutt. Dan Sexton is going for the pin. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, three. The winners are Dan Sexton and Alex Star. Time of match: 0:10:18 ~~~~~ SPEED: DAMN!! VIOLET: Sexton and Star win it. I noticed that surprisingly, Sexton has more than pulled his share of the load in the team. SPEED: Yeah, he still is a racist and Star is a Speed Racer wannabe. That_s that!!! VIOLET: Our last semifinal will pit Ranma and Jimmy Crush against Paris and Wade. ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by Regis Philbin... At a total combined weight of 461 pounds... Ranma Saotome and "The Prodigy" Jimmy Crush Their opponents... Led to the ring by J.T. Chisom, Rachel Morris and Jenna Jameson... At a total combined weight of 463 pounds... Tim'The Rambler'Wade and "The Hardcore Revolutionary" Mark Paris They lock up. Ranma Saotome throws Tim'The Rambler'Wade out of the ring. Ranma Saotome goes through the ropes. Jimmy Crush comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris comes over and lays out Jimmy Crush. Mark Paris takes Ranma Saotome down with a football tackle. Tim'The Rambler'Wade puts Ranma Saotome in a full nelson. Tim'The Rambler'Wade whips Ranma Saotome into the guardrail. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Ranma Saotome with a kick to the thigh. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Ranma Saotome with neck-scissors. Mark Paris comes over to make it two-on-one. Jimmy Crush comes over, but gets cut off. Mark Paris hits a football tackle on Ranma Saotome. Tim'The Rambler'Wade locks Ranma Saotome in a full nelson. Mark Paris goes for a football tackle, but Ranma Saotome counters it with a kick to the head. Jimmy Crush comes over to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris comes over and lays out Jimmy Crush. Tim'The Rambler'Wade and Mark Paris hit Ranma Saotome with a double bodyslam. Tim'The Rambler'Wade uses an over-the-shoulder stomachbreaker on Ranma Saotome. Tim'The Rambler'Wade knocks Ranma Saotome into the ringpost. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a Samoan Drop, but Ranma Saotome counters it with an elbowsmash. Ranma Saotome throws Tim'The Rambler'Wade back into the ring. Ranma Saotome whips Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the ropes. Tim'The Rambler'Wade misses with a kick. Tim'The Rambler'Wade misses with a clothesline. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for an enzuilariato, but Ranma Saotome counters it with a backward kick. Ranma Saotome goes for a short lariat, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade tags out to Mark Paris. Jimmy Crush enters the ring, but gets cut off. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes a jumping side kick on Ranma Saotome. Mark Paris takes Ranma Saotome down with a backslide. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Tim'The Rambler'Wade leaves the ring. Mark Paris hits a low blow on Ranma Saotome. Mark Paris whips Ranma Saotome into the ropes. Ranma Saotome uses a short lariat on Mark Paris. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Ranma Saotome takes Mark Paris down with a crucifix power bomb. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Ranma Saotome goes for a brain buster, but Mark Paris slides down his back. Mark Paris nails Ranma Saotome with a low blow. Mark Paris hits Ranma Saotome. Ranma Saotome punches Mark Paris. Mark Paris kicks Ranma Saotome. Mark Paris chops Ranma Saotome. Ranma Saotome chops Mark Paris. Mark Paris hits Ranma Saotome. Mark Paris hits a back heel kick on Ranma Saotome. Mark Paris hits Ranma Saotome with a Samoan Drop. Mark Paris tags out to Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Jimmy Crush enters the ring and throws Mark Paris out of the ring. Jimmy Crush leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Jimmy Crush runs into the ropes and springs off the chair. Jimmy Crush hits an enzuilariato on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Ranma Saotome places Tim'The Rambler'Wade on the turnbuckle. Ranma Saotome hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a top-rope power bomb. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Jimmy Crush leaves the ring. Ranma Saotome places Tim'The Rambler'Wade on the turnbuckle. Ranma Saotome goes for a top-rope Frankensteiner, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade counters it with a power bomb. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes a diving shoulderblock on Ranma Saotome. Tim'The Rambler'Wade uses a diving shoulderblock on Ranma Saotome. Tim'The Rambler'Wade uses a somersault splash on Ranma Saotome. Tiger Hattori removes the chair from the ring. Tim'The Rambler'Wade tags out to Mark Paris. Tim'The Rambler'Wade nails Ranma Saotome with a jumping side kick. Mark Paris takes Ranma Saotome down with a backslide. Tiger Hattori counts: One, shoulder up. Tim'The Rambler'Wade leaves the ring. Mark Paris goes for a full nelson faceslam, but Ranma Saotome blocks it. Ranma Saotome punches Mark Paris. Ranma Saotome chops Mark Paris. Ranma Saotome runs into the ropes. Ranma Saotome uses a short lariat on Mark Paris. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Mark Paris begs off. Ranma Saotome nails Mark Paris with a side suplex. Ranma Saotome executes a crucifix power bomb on Mark Paris. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Ranma Saotome hits a brain buster on Mark Paris. Ranma Saotome whips Mark Paris into the ropes. Ranma Saotome hits Mark Paris with an elbow. Ranma Saotome points at his opponent and mocks "Oooh, I think I'm gonna cry!!". Ranma Saotome leaves the ring. He returns with a keyboard. Ranma Saotome hits him with the keyboard. Ranma Saotome takes Mark Paris down with a slingshot somersault splash. Ranma Saotome takes Mark Paris down with a power bomb. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Ranma Saotome leaves the ring. He returns with a cookie sheet. Ranma Saotome hits him with the cookie sheet. Tiger Hattori throws the cookie sheet out of the ring. Ranma Saotome goes for a vertical suplex, but Mark Paris reverses it. Mark Paris whips Ranma Saotome into the ropes, but Ranma Saotome reverses it. Mark Paris takes Ranma Saotome down with the Running Forearm Smash. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Mark Paris goes for a Northern Lights bomb, but Ranma Saotome counters it with an elbowsmash. Ranma Saotome punches Mark Paris. Ranma Saotome kicks Mark Paris. Mark Paris kicks Ranma Saotome. Ranma Saotome hits Mark Paris. Ranma Saotome tags out to Jimmy Crush. Ranma Saotome uses a shoulder breaker on Mark Paris. Jimmy Crush uses a flying dropkick on Mark Paris. Ranma Saotome leaves the ring. Jimmy Crush takes Mark Paris down with a kneedrop. Jimmy Crush is going for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Jimmy Crush leaves the ring. He returns with a road sign. Jimmy Crush hits him with the road sign. Mark Paris is busted wide open. Mark Paris begs off. Jimmy Crush executes the Jimmy Crusher on Mark Paris. Jimmy Crush goes for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, KICKOUT. Mark Paris goes for an earringer, but Jimmy Crush counters it with a backdrop. Jimmy Crush catches Mark Paris in a standing wristlock. Mark Paris is valiantly trying to break the hold. Mark Paris reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds. Jimmy Crush nails Mark Paris with a kneedrop. Jimmy Crush hits him with a road sign. Jimmy Crush uses a legsweep faceslam on Mark Paris. Jimmy Crush goes for a standing wristlock, but Mark Paris blocks it. Mark Paris locks Jimmy Crush in an abdominal stretch. Jimmy Crush reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Mark Paris whips Jimmy Crush into the ropes. Jimmy Crush goes for an enzuilariato, but Mark Paris counters it with a single-leg takedown. Mark Paris tags out to Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Tim'The Rambler'Wade attempts to place Jimmy Crush on the turnbuckle, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a choke against the ropes, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Jimmy Crush hits him with the road sign. Tiger Hattori throws the road sign out of the ring. Jimmy Crush runs into the ropes. Tim'The Rambler'Wade uses neck-scissors on Jimmy Crush. Tim'The Rambler'Wade attempts to place Jimmy Crush on the turnbuckle, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Tim'The Rambler'Wade whips Jimmy Crush into the ropes. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Jimmy Crush with an elbow. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a facerake, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Jimmy Crush goes for a brain buster, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade counters it with a vertical suplex. Tim'The Rambler'Wade uses a Samoan Drop on Jimmy Crush. Tim'The Rambler'Wade is going for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a somersault splash, but Jimmy Crush rolls out of the way. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Jimmy Crush with a gutwrench suplex. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, shoulder up. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Jimmy Crush with a Samoan Drop. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Jimmy Crush with a snap mare. Tim'The Rambler'Wade whips Jimmy Crush into the ropes, but Jimmy Crush reverses it. Jimmy Crush uses a palm blow on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Jimmy Crush runs into the ropes. Jimmy Crush hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a shoulderblock. Jimmy Crush locks Tim'The Rambler'Wade in a surfboard. Tim'The Rambler'Wade breaks the hold after 7 seconds. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes a single-leg takedown on Jimmy Crush. Tim'The Rambler'Wade whips Jimmy Crush into the ropes. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes a bodyslam on Jimmy Crush. Jimmy Crush locks Tim'The Rambler'Wade in a full nelson. Tim'The Rambler'Wade reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Jimmy Crush catches Tim'The Rambler'Wade in a standing wristlock. Tim'The Rambler'Wade is struggling to reach the ropes. Tim'The Rambler'Wade reaches the ropes after being trapped for 12 seconds. Jimmy Crush goes for a legsweep faceslam, but Tim'The Rambler'Wade blocks it. Mark Paris enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris executes a football tackle on Jimmy Crush. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits a German suplex on Jimmy Crush. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Mark Paris attempts to place Jimmy Crush on the turnbuckle, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Mark Paris leaves the ring. Tim'The Rambler'Wade nails Jimmy Crush with a Samoan Drop. Tim'The Rambler'Wade executes neck-scissors on Jimmy Crush. Tim'The Rambler'Wade goes for a bodyslam, but Jimmy Crush counters it with a small package. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, kickout. Jimmy Crush hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Tim'The Rambler'Wade kicks Jimmy Crush. Jimmy Crush kicks Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Tim'The Rambler'Wade hits Jimmy Crush. Jimmy Crush hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Jimmy Crush hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Jimmy Crush executes a thrust kick to the head on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Jimmy Crush throws Tim'The Rambler'Wade out of the ring. Jimmy Crush goes through the ropes. Ranma Saotome comes over to make it two-on-one. Jimmy Crush and Ranma Saotome hit Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a double power bomb. Ranma Saotome takes Tim'The Rambler'Wade down with a diamond cutter. Jimmy Crush hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a flying dropkick. Jimmy Crush sets up a table. Ranma Saotome comes over to make it two-on-one. Ranma Saotome hits Tim'The Rambler'Wade with a short lariat. Jimmy Crush uses a Soviet suplex on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Ranma Saotome uses a short lariat on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Jimmy Crush locks Tim'The Rambler'Wade in a full nelson. Jimmy Crush sets up Tim'The Rambler'Wade on the table. Jimmy Crush executes a slingshot legdrop through the table. The table is broken in half. Jimmy Crush whips Tim'The Rambler'Wade into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Jimmy Crush reenters the ring. Tim'The Rambler'Wade follows him back in. Jimmy Crush is going for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. Jimmy Crush gives the sign for the Jimmy Crusher. Jimmy Crush gives the sign for the Jimmy Crusher. Jimmy Crush executes the Jimmy Crusher on Tim'The Rambler'Wade. Jimmy Crush goes for the pin. Tiger Hattori counts: One, two, Mark Paris doesn't make it in time... three. The winners are Ranma Saotome and Jimmy Crush. Time of match: 0:11:57 ~~~~~ SPEED: DAMMIT WADE!!!! PULL YOUR WEIGHT!! VIOLET: Wade has done more than pulled his weight. He has done great!! SPEED: No way, he just cost Paris his own shot at the World Title. VIOLET: Like THAT would be entertaining. The finals are going on right now....and you know what? SPEED: I think I know what you were going to say. VIOLET: What? SPEED: I think Jimmy Crush is using Regis Philbin as his manager. VIOLET: Indeed he is. SPEED: That man is SICK!!! Wheat Thins, I CAN"T STOP EATING _EM!!! VIOLET: Yay, we got a new sponsor. ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by New Jack, Jessica Carter and 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... At a total combined weight of 612 pounds... Dan Sexton and Alex Star Their opponents... Led to the ring by Regis Philbin... At a total combined weight of 450 pounds... Ranma Saotome and "The Prodigy" Jimmy Crush They lock up. Alex Star puts Ranma Saotome in an armbar submission. Ranma Saotome is struggling to reach the ropes. Ranma Saotome reaches the ropes after being trapped for 25 seconds. Alex Star leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Alex Star sets up the chair. Alex Star goes for a double arm DDT, but Ranma Saotome blocks it. Mr. Bitter removes the chair from the ring. Ranma Saotome takes Alex Star down with a power bomb. Mr. Bitter counts: One, kickout. Ranma Saotome takes Alex Star down with a power bomb into a bridge. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson distracts Mr. Bitter. Ranma Saotome tags out to Jimmy Crush. Ranma Saotome takes Alex Star down with a waistlock suplex. Jimmy Crush goes for a frog splash, but New Jack shoves him off the turnbuckle. Ranma Saotome leaves the ring. Alex Star executes a rolling kick on Jimmy Crush. Alex Star tags out to Dan Sexton. Alex Star takes Jimmy Crush down with a rolling kick. Dan Sexton executes a bridging back suplex on Jimmy Crush. There is no referee to count. Alex Star leaves the ring. Dan Sexton goes for a faceslam, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Jimmy Crush goes for a front facelock, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Mr. Bitter is back on the job. Dan Sexton nails Jimmy Crush with a power bomb. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, shoulder up. Dan Sexton throws Jimmy Crush out of the ring. Dan Sexton goes through the ropes. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star takes Jimmy Crush down with a short lariat. Dan Sexton goes for a bridging back suplex, but Jimmy Crush counters it with a facerake. Ranma Saotome comes over to make it two-on-one. Ranma Saotome uses a short lariat on Dan Sexton. Jimmy Crush goes for a Soviet suplex, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Alex Star comes over to make it two-on-one. Ranma Saotome comes over and lays out Alex Star. Ranma Saotome goes for a short lariat, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Alex Star goes for an airplane spin, but Ranma Saotome counters it with a facerake. Jimmy Crush comes over to make it two-on-one. Dan Sexton comes over and lays out Jimmy Crush. Dan Sexton hits Ranma Saotome with a dropkick. Alex Star gets an airplane spin on Ranma Saotome. Alex Star whips Ranma Saotome into the guardrail. Alex Star goes for a bulldog headlock, but Ranma Saotome throws him off. They're brawling inside the ring area. Jimmy Crush comes over to make it two-on-one. Ranma Saotome and Jimmy Crush hit Alex Star with a double power bomb. Ranma Saotome sets up a table. Ranma Saotome sets up Alex Star on the table. Ranma Saotome executes an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle through the table. The table didn't break. Jimmy Crush comes over to make it two-on-one. Jimmy Crush grabs a chair. Jimmy Crush takes a running start and springs off the chair. Jimmy Crush goes for an enzuilariato, but Alex Star ducks out of the way. Alex Star nails Ranma Saotome with a flying bodypress. Alex Star places his foot over his opponent's eye and spins it.. Alex Star knocks Ranma Saotome into the ringsteps. New Jack comes from behind and distracts Ranma Saotome. Alex Star is handed a string of barb wire. Alex Star hits him with the string of barb wire. Alex Star sets up Ranma Saotome on the table. Alex Star executes a DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. Dan Sexton comes over to make it two-on-one. Alex Star and Dan Sexton hit Ranma Saotome with a double flying axhandle. Alex Star throws Ranma Saotome back into the ring. Alex Star is going for the pin. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, KICKOUT. Jimmy Crush enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Jimmy Crush attempts to place Alex Star on the turnbuckle, but Alex Star blocks it. Jimmy Crush leaves the ring. Ranma Saotome takes Alex Star down with a power bomb. Ranma Saotome uses an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle on Alex Star. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, kickout. Jimmy Crush enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Dan Sexton enters the ring and throws Jimmy Crush out of the ring. Dan Sexton leaves the ring. Alex Star goes for a flying bulldog, but Ranma Saotome side-steps and Alex Star only hits air. Ranma Saotome points at his opponent and mocks "Oooh, I think I'm gonna cry!!". Jimmy Crush enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Jimmy Crush hits Alex Star with an enzuilariato. Ranma Saotome places Alex Star on the turnbuckle. Ranma Saotome uses a top-rope power bomb on Alex Star. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, kickout. Jimmy Crush sets up the chair. Jimmy Crush uses a power bomb onto the chair on Alex Star. Ranma Saotome attempts to place Alex Star on the turnbuckle, but Alex Star blocks it. Jimmy Crush attempts to place Alex Star on the turnbuckle, but Alex Star blocks it. Jimmy Crush leaves the ring. Ranma Saotome runs into the ropes. Ranma Saotome misses with a clothesline. Alex Star locks Ranma Saotome in an armbar submission. Ranma Saotome tries to escape the hold. Alex Star lets go after 17 seconds. Alex Star hits a kick to the groin on Ranma Saotome. Alex Star goes for a Frankensteiner from the top rope, but Ranma Saotome side-steps and Alex Star only hits air. Ranma Saotome goes for a side suplex, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star sets up the chair. Alex Star gives him a single arm DDT, but Ranma Saotome only stares at him. Alex Star hits Ranma Saotome. Alex Star hits Ranma Saotome. Ranma Saotome hits Alex Star. Ranma Saotome kicks Alex Star. Alex Star chops Ranma Saotome. Alex Star goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Ranma Saotome counters it with a punch. Ranma Saotome goes for a waistlock suplex, but Alex Star counters it with an elbowsmash. Dan Sexton enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Alex Star and Dan Sexton whip Ranma Saotome into the ropes. They hit Ranma Saotome with a double fist to the midsection. Alex Star and Dan Sexton whip Ranma Saotome into the ropes. They hit Ranma Saotome with a double elbowsmash. Dan Sexton takes Ranma Saotome down with a dropkick. Alex Star catches Ranma Saotome in an airplane spin. Ranma Saotome breaks the hold after 5 seconds. Dan Sexton leaves the ring. Alex Star whips Ranma Saotome into the ropes. Alex Star hits Ranma Saotome with a shoulderblock. Alex Star executes the Starscream on Ranma Saotome. Ranma Saotome is valiantly trying to break the hold. Ranma Saotome tries to escape the hold. Ranma Saotome is valiantly trying to break the hold. Ranma Saotome is inching his way towards the ropes. Ranma Saotome is writhing in pain. Mr. Bitter checks Ranma Saotome's arm. He lifts it... it stays up ! Ranma Saotome fights his way out of the hold after 46 seconds. Ranma Saotome goes for a shoulder breaker, but Alex Star counters it with a backdrop. Alex Star runs into the ropes. Ranma Saotome and Alex Star get hit with a double clothesline. Ranma Saotome executes a side suplex on Alex Star. Jimmy Crush enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Jimmy Crush goes for an enzuilariato, but Alex Star ducks out of the way. Jimmy Crush rolls out of the ring. Alex Star goes for an avalanche, but Ranma Saotome counters it with a kick to the head. Alex Star bumps into Mr. Bitter. Ranma Saotome uses an enzuigiri on Alex Star. Ranma Saotome goes for a DDT, but Alex Star counters it with a Northern Lights suplex. There is no referee to count. Mr. Bitter is back on the job. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Alex Star uses a thrust kick to the head on Ranma Saotome. Alex Star puts Ranma Saotome in the Ziplock. Ranma Saotome reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Alex Star executes a standing moonsault on Ranma Saotome. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Alex Star goes for a flying bulldog, but Ranma Saotome side-steps and Alex Star only hits air. Ranma Saotome goes for a waistlock suplex, but Alex Star counters it with an elbowsmash. Alex Star whips Ranma Saotome into the ropes, but Ranma Saotome reverses it. Alex Star takes Ranma Saotome down with a thrust kick to the head. Alex Star uses a spinning DDT on Ranma Saotome. Alex Star tags out to Dan Sexton. Dan Sexton and Alex Star whip Ranma Saotome into the ropes. They hit Ranma Saotome with a double fist to the midsection. Alex Star leaves the ring. Dan Sexton takes Ranma Saotome down with a headbutt. Alex Star enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Alex Star uses a DDT on Ranma Saotome. Dan Sexton nails Ranma Saotome with a flying kneedrop. Jimmy Crush enters the ring and throws Alex Star out of the ring. Jimmy Crush leaves the ring. Ranma Saotome whips Dan Sexton into the ropes, but Dan Sexton reverses it. Dan Sexton hits Ranma Saotome with a clothesline. Dan Sexton nails Ranma Saotome with an enzuilariato. Dan Sexton gives him a flying clothesline, but Ranma Saotome doesn't budge. Ranma Saotome hits Dan Sexton with a roundhouse right. Ranma Saotome locks Dan Sexton in a side headlock. Ranma Saotome lets go after 15 seconds. Ranma Saotome throws Dan Sexton out of the ring. Ranma Saotome goes through the ropes. Dan Sexton is busted wide open. Ranma Saotome sets up a table. Jimmy Crush comes over to make it two-on-one. Ranma Saotome hits a crucifix power bomb on Dan Sexton. Ranma Saotome reenters the ring. Dan Sexton follows him back in. Ranma Saotome is going for the pin. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, kickout. Ranma Saotome whips Dan Sexton into the ropes. Dan Sexton hits Ranma Saotome with a kick. Dan Sexton executes the Deadweight on Ranma Saotome. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, three. The winners are Dan Sexton and Alex Star. Time of match: 0:13:16 ~~~~~ VIOLET: The winners of the Lottery are Dan Sexton and Alex Star. Now, those two will have to duke it out with the winner gaining a World Title shot and the loser gaining an IC Title shot. SPEED: Damn. So basically, Star either gets a shot at the Corporate champ, Mark Paris, or keeps his IC belt. That sounds pretty crappy!! VIOLET: Ah, get over it Speed. Maybe Dan Sexton can win a belt. SPEED: Oh yeah, we_d be PROUD of that. VIOLET: Well, we are done for now. We_ll let some of the announcers have their way with the rest of the card. We will see you for the main event!! Tony Schiavone: WE.....ARE....LIVE!!!! Lord Zoltan: They already KNOW that, Tony! We've been live for several hours now... Tony: Oh yeah..forgot about that. Anyway, we hope you folks have enjoyed the show so far. The Lethal Lottery tournament was everything we expected and more...there was some fierce competition, but in the end, the mismatched team of Dan Sexton... Zoltan: That racist BASTARD! Tony: ...And Alex Star defeated the even more mismatched team of AGW legend Ranma Saotome and AGW nobody Jimmy Crush. So, as per the rules, the two teams will now duke it out with each other. First up, Ranma takes on Jimmy Crush. The winner of this match will recieve a shot at Joshua Gardner's Corporate Television Title later tonight, and the loser gets a shot at Extremely Hardcore Brawler and the Anything Goes Title. Despite his long layoff, ranma has been nothing less then impressive otnight, and I'm going to have to go with him to win this one... Zoltan: And as much as I hate to do this, I'm gonna have to agree with you. Jimmy's got heart...and guts...lots of 'em...but I don't think that'll be enough. Tony: Let's go to the ring... (Before Crush and Ranma go down the aisle, Speed Racer comes down and grabs a mic.) Zoltan: To hear another stirring address from President Screwjob... SPEED: Well, I legitimately didn't think that one of the Hall Of Fame guys could make it so far in the tourney. Obviously they can't hold titles because they're not under contract. So what this means is two things....and since I'm the Prez I can do this. Basically, Jimmy Crush will be the winner of his match with Ranma by default, so he gets the TV Title shot. Now, what happens with the Anything Goes Title Match? Well, we sent the AG Champ, Extremely Hardcore Brawler over to the local Cathedral. Basically, the 3 way Burning Cathedral match between Brad Steel, Father Arson and Doomsday will become a 4 way match for the Anything Goes Title!!!! You fans wanted it, so you'll get it!! (Speed throws the mic back to the ring announcer and walks to the back.) Tony: Well...that wasn't so bad... Zoltan: Are you kidding? Are you really that blind? Tony: It's possible... Zoltan: Look, contract or no contract, Ranma is one of the greats. And if he won, he got a shot at the TV title... Tony: I know that... Zoltan: The CORPORATE TV Title! Speed didn't want Ranma getting anywhere near his guys, so he pulled him and gave the shot to Jimmy Crush, who's never won anything more important then a pie eating contest! Tony: So what you're saying is... Zoltan: IT'S A CONSPIRACY, MAN! I think Joshua Gardner was the second gunman on the grassy knoll...and Goldberg was driving the getaway car! Tony: I think you're a very sick human being. Anyway, since Jimmy Crush has recieved a bye into the TV Title match...and Ranma Saotome has recieved a boot straight out the door, we'll go to our last Lethal Lottery final! Dan Sexton... Zoltan: THAT RACIST BASTARD! Tony: Will take on Alex Star. The winner of this match will go on to challenge screwjob king Mark Paris for the World Title in out main event of the evening! The loser...well, that's complicated... Zoltan: Well, Alex Star is already the IC Champ. So if he beats Sexton, then he'll have to fight Sexton AGAIN for his Intercontinental belt before challenging Paris. If Sexton wins, however, then he'll go on ot the main event...and I guess Alex Star will get the rest of the night off. Tony: So the stakes are laid down...let's go to the ring! ~~~~~ This contest is a non-title-no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by New Jack, Jessica Carter and 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... Fighting out of Malibu, California... Weighing in at 282 pounds... The AGW Intercontinental Champion... Alex Star His opponent... Hailing from Garrison, New Jersey... Weighing in at 330 pounds... Dan Sexton They lock up. Alex Star puts Dan Sexton in a double chickenwing submission. Dan Sexton is struggling to reach the ropes. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Alex Star goes for a flying axhandle, but Dan Sexton counters it with a fist to the midsection. Dan Sexton executes a flying clothesline on Alex Star. Dan Sexton nails Alex Star with a headbutt. Dan Sexton uses an enzuilariato on Alex Star. Dan Sexton is going for the pin. Carl Westcoat counts: One, shoulder up. Dan Sexton whips Alex Star into the ropes, but Alex Star reverses it. New Jack trips Dan Sexton. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the turnbuckle. Dan Sexton comes back, but is met with a clothesline. Alex Star uses a single arm DDT on Dan Sexton. Alex Star hits a flying spinning leg lariat on Dan Sexton. Alex Star hits a 450 splash on Dan Sexton. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Alex Star goes for the Oriental Spike, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton whips Alex Star into the turnbuckle. Dan Sexton charges in with a high knee, but Alex Star moves out of the way. Alex Star uses a thrust kick to the head on Dan Sexton. Alex Star executes the Garvin Stomp on Dan Sexton. Alex Star hits Dan Sexton with a diamond cutter. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Alex Star nails Dan Sexton with a spinning DDT. Alex Star takes Dan Sexton down with a rolling kick. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the ropes. Alex Star hits Dan Sexton with a thrust kick to the head. Alex Star throws Dan Sexton out of the ring. Alex Star goes through the ropes. Alex Star throws Dan Sexton back into the ring. Alex Star brings the table into the ring. Tony: Star's going all out here in the early going... Zoltan: Well, you know Star's good friends with New Jack...so he probably hates Sexton too! He understands the minority rage! POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!! Tony: I think it has more to do with the fact that he hates Paris, and he's only one win away from getting the Corporate Champion in the ring, one on one! Dan Sexton hits Alex Star with an inverted atomic drop. Dan Sexton takes Alex Star down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Dan Sexton takes Alex Star down with a lariat. Dan Sexton whips Alex Star into the ropes, but Alex Star reverses it. Alex Star misses with an elbow. Alex Star hits Dan Sexton with an elbow. Alex Star leaves the ring. He returns with a road sign. Alex Star locks Dan Sexton in a double chickenwing submission. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 17 seconds. Alex Star hits him with the road sign. Alex Star sets up Dan Sexton on the table. Alex Star executes a splash through the table. The table didn't break. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the turnbuckle. Alex Star nails Dan Sexton with a kick to the groin. Zoltan: OW....that was uncalled for... Alex Star hits a kick to the midsection on Dan Sexton. Alex Star takes Dan Sexton down with a short lariat. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Alex Star goes for the Garvin Stomp, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton runs into the ropes. Dan Sexton hits Alex Star with a clothesline. Dan Sexton hits a forearm smash on Alex Star. Dan Sexton hits Alex Star with neck-scissors. Dan Sexton goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Alex Star counters it with a punch. Alex Star hits a flying spinning leg lariat on Dan Sexton. Alex Star executes the Starscream on Dan Sexton. Tony: Star has just dominated the match so far.....this might be enough... Dan Sexton tries to fight the pain. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 23 seconds. Zoltan: The RACIST BASTARD still has some fight left in him! Damn his racist eyes! Alex Star leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Alex Star takes the chair. Alex Star nails Dan Sexton with a flying axhandle with the chair. Carl Westcoat removes the chair from the ring. Alex Star leaves the ring. He returns with a vacuum cleaner. Alex Star hits him with the vacuum cleaner. Alex Star goes for a DDT, but Dan Sexton counters it with a backdrop. Dan Sexton runs into the ropes. New Jack pulls down the top rope. Alex Star goes through the ropes. Alex Star goes for the Starscream, but Dan Sexton counters it with a kick-off. Jessica Carter comes from behind, but Dan Sexton nails Jessica Carter. Alex Star hits a bulldog headlock on Dan Sexton. They're brawling inside the ring area. Alex Star places his foot over his opponent's eye and spins it.. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson comes from behind, but Dan Sexton nails 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson. Alex Star sets up Dan Sexton on the table. Alex Star executes a splash through the table. The table didn't break. Zoltan: Looks a little cracked, though... Tony: Kind of like Sexton's ribs.... They're brawling inside the ring area. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson comes from behind, but Dan Sexton nails 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson. Alex Star goes for the Starscream, but Dan Sexton counters it with a kick-off. Dan Sexton executes neck-scissors on Alex Star. New Jack comes from behind, but Dan Sexton nails New Jack. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the guardrail. New Jack comes from behind and distracts Dan Sexton. Alex Star is handed a prosthetic leg. Alex Star hits him with the prosthetic leg. Alex Star uses a diamond cutter on Dan Sexton. Alex Star throws Dan Sexton back into the ring. Dan Sexton goes for a power bomb, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star goes for a double arm DDT, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton hits Alex Star with a powerslam. Tony: Sexton out of nowhere wiht that powerslam! Zoltan: Hey! You did it again! And that's the same move that put Token Minority Jobber away earlier. Let's see if lighting can strike twice... Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Tony: I guess not.... Dan Sexton uses a bridging back suplex on Alex Star. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Alex Star runs into the ropes. Alex Star hits Dan Sexton with a kick. Alex Star sets up Dan Sexton on the table. Alex Star tries to drive Dan Sexton through the table with a double arm DDT, but he blocks it. Dan Sexton goes for a lariat, but Alex Star counters it with an armbar submission. Dan Sexton is valiantly trying to break the hold. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 22 seconds. Alex Star goes for a DDT, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton takes Alex Star down with a front slam. Dan Sexton executes the Deadweight on Alex Star. Zoltan: The Racist Bastard hits the Racist Deadweight on Star...this might do it.. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. Tony: Star still manages to escape...just barley, though... Dan Sexton whips Alex Star into the ropes, but Alex Star reverses it. Alex Star hits Dan Sexton with a shoulderblock. Alex Star is going for the pin. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, in the ropes... Alex Star executes the Starscream on Dan Sexton. Dan Sexton tries to escape the hold. Dan Sexton is writhing in pain. Dan Sexton submits after 13 seconds. The winner is Alex Star. Time of match: 0:10:47 Zoltan: Well, the Racist Bastard gave it a shot, but Alex Star was just too much for him...this time. He'll be getting another shot shortly. Tony: That's true. Alex Star advances to the main event, to face Mark Paris for the World Title...but before he does that, hell have to defend his IC title against the man he just defeated, Dan Sexton! Zoltan: That should be a great one, but the union is telling us that we're gonna have to punch out now. No overtime for us poor announcers. Enjoy the rest of the show, folks. We'll see you again...probably! LL PART 2 Lenny Kravitz "I want to get away" blasts over the PA system as Mort Easke makes his way down the ramp to the announcer_s booth, a confused look on his face. Mort sits down, adjust his head set and smiles. Mort: "What the hell was that? I asked for The Chairman of the Board, Mr. Sinatra himself and I get some whacked out hippie music as an intro? Jeez....welcome to freakin_ Texas.... We_ve got some excellent matches coming up, including this one featuring two of the big guys, Campos and Anaconda....can someone please tell me what the hell the point of this match is?" ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by New Jack and 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... Fighting out of La Ciudad de Mexico... Weighing in at 431 pounds... "El Loco Luchador" Joaquin Campos His opponent... Led to the ring by Miss Jacqueline... Fighting out of The Jungle... Weighing in at 450 pounds... Anaconda They lock up. Anaconda hits a forearm to the back on Joaquin Campos. Anaconda goes for a jumping DDT, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a small package. Rich McKinnon counts: One, two, kickout. Miss Jacqueline tries to interfere, but 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson prevents her from doing so. Joaquin Campos puts Anaconda in an airplane spin. Anaconda is valiantly trying to break the hold. Anaconda tries to fight the pain. Anaconda is valiantly trying to break the hold. Anaconda is writhing in pain. Rich McKinnon checks Anaconda's arm. He lifts it... it falls. He lifts it... it stays up ! Anaconda fights his way out of the hold after 24 seconds. Anaconda goes for a forearm smash, but Joaquin Campos blocks it. Joaquin Campos whips Anaconda into the ropes. Joaquin Campos hits Anaconda with a shoulderblock. Joaquin Campos catches Anaconda in a chokehold. Anaconda is valiantly trying to break the hold. Anaconda reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Joaquin Campos throws Anaconda out of the ring. Joaquin Campos goes through the ropes. Joaquin Campos gives him a Russian legsweep, but Anaconda doesn't even care. Joaquin Campos goes for a diving elbow smash, but Anaconda counters it with a faceslam. Anaconda screams "Welcome To The JUNGLE!!!!". Anaconda whips Joaquin Campos into the guardrail. Anaconda executes an elbowdrop on Joaquin Campos. Anaconda throws Joaquin Campos back into the ring. Anaconda whips Joaquin Campos into the ropes, but Joaquin Campos reverses it. Anaconda misses with a clothesline. Anaconda misses with a kick. Anaconda hits a football tackle on Joaquin Campos. Anaconda goes for a backspin DDT, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a belly-to-belly suplex. Joaquin Campos is going for the pin. Rich McKinnon counts: One, two, kickout. Joaquin Campos leaves the ring. He returns with the cerveza bottle. Joaquin Campos hits him with the cerveza bottle. Joaquin Campos hits a flying senton on Anaconda. Rich McKinnon counts: One, two, kickout. Joaquin Campos goes for a backspin DDT, but Anaconda blocks it. Anaconda goes for a swinging punch, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a roundhouse right. Joaquin Campos puts Anaconda in an airplane spin. Anaconda breaks the hold after 10 seconds. Anaconda uses a diving elbow smash on Joaquin Campos. Anaconda goes for a football tackle, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a DDT. Joaquin Campos attempts a springboard legdrop, but slips and falls. Joaquin Campos hits him with the cerveza bottle. Rich McKinnon throws the cerveza bottle out of the ring. Joaquin Campos goes for a Western lariat, but Anaconda blocks it. Anaconda uses an avalanche on Joaquin Campos. Anaconda goes for the Big Squeeze, but Joaquin Campos counters it with an eye poke. Joaquin Campos gives him a kick to the midsection, but Anaconda doesn't even care. Joaquin Campos takes Anaconda down with a spinning DDT. Joaquin Campos whips Anaconda into the turnbuckle. Joaquin Campos places Anaconda on the turnbuckle. Joaquin Campos hits Anaconda with a front-layout superplex. Joaquin Campos whips Anaconda into the ropes. Joaquin Campos hits Anaconda with a kick. Joaquin Campos is going for the pin. Rich McKinnon counts: One, two, kickout. Joaquin Campos hits a rolling kick on Anaconda. Joaquin Campos goes for a flying clothesline, but Anaconda counters it with a powerslam. Rich McKinnon counts: One, two, kickout. Anaconda goes for a swinging punch, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a punch. Miss Jacqueline enters the ring and hits Joaquin Campos with a chair. Joaquin Campos is out cold. Anaconda whips Joaquin Campos into the ropes. Anaconda hits Joaquin Campos with a clothesline. Joaquin Campos falls out of the ring. Anaconda goes through the ropes. Anaconda goes for a diving elbow smash, but Joaquin Campos counters it with a faceslam. Miss Jacqueline comes from behind and distracts Joaquin Campos. Anaconda goes for the Big Squeeze, but Joaquin Campos counters it with an eye poke. Joaquin Campos is handed a wooden chair. Joaquin Campos hits him with the wooden chair. Joaquin Campos executes a short lariat on Anaconda. Joaquin Campos whips Anaconda into the guardrail. Joaquin Campos is handed a bottle. Joaquin Campos hits him with the bottle. Joaquin Campos stabs him with a bottle. Joaquin Campos gives him a forearm smash, but Anaconda only stares at him. Joaquin Campos goes for a diving shoulderblock, but Anaconda ducks out of the way. Anaconda whips Joaquin Campos into the guardrail. Anaconda sets up a table. Anaconda executes a forearm to the back on Joaquin Campos. Anaconda goes for the Big Squeeze, but Joaquin Campos counters it with an eye gouge. Joaquin Campos goes for a flying axhandle, but Anaconda counters it with a fist to the midsection. Anaconda is handed a cane. Anaconda hits him with the cane. Anaconda whips Joaquin Campos into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Joaquin Campos whips Anaconda into the guardrail. Joaquin Campos reenters the ring. Anaconda follows him back in. Joaquin Campos executes the Cancun Driver on Anaconda. Joaquin Campos goes for the pin. Rich McKinnon counts: One, two, in the ropes... Joaquin Campos takes Anaconda down with an avalanche. Joaquin Campos gets the Oriental Spike on Anaconda. Anaconda reaches the ropes after being trapped for 12 seconds. Joaquin Campos goes for a backspin DDT, but Anaconda blocks it. Anaconda executes the Big Squeeze on Joaquin Campos. Joaquin Campos is writhing in pain. Rich McKinnon tells Joaquin Campos to respond or he'll stop the fight. Joaquin Campos nods. Joaquin Campos tries to fight the pain. Joaquin Campos submits after 27 seconds. The winner is Anaconda. Time of match: 0:09:21 Mort: "CAMPOS GAVE UP! CAMPOS GAVE UP! THAT HAS TO BE AN UPSET! CAMPOS GAVE UP! Maybe Anaconda can get back on track now and do something with is career. Next up is a Chicago Street Fight with New Jack, Brolly, and Goldburp..er..Goldberg. Grab ahold of your seats, this is going to be a wild one..." ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-Chicago Street Fight triangle match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... Fighting out of Atlanta, Georgia... Weighing in at 252 pounds... "Gangsta" New Jack His opponent... Led to the ring by Klilyn... Fighting out of Planet Vegeta... Weighing in at 450 pounds... Brolly Their opponent... Hailing from Tulsa, OK... Weighing in at 285 pounds... Bill Goldberg The "Corporate IC Champion" Goldberg makes his way to the ring, complete with the shiny and paint free stolen IC Title belt around his waist. The crowd boos lustily as he incites some fans on the way to the ring. An AGW Cameraman draws close to Goldberg to get a closer look at those impressive traps. Suddenly, the cameraman gets a little bit TOO close. He "slips", causing the television camera to crash into Goldberg's face. The camera breaks into several pieces, and Goldberg goes down like a ton of bricks. The cameraman, obviously, 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson in disguise, bends down and "apologizes" to Goldberg, then leaves the area. But before Goldberg can get up, New Jack runs out. He is carrying his garabage can full of weapons, and proceeds to smash it all over the downed Goldberg's body. Twenty seconds pass ... weapons are now strewn across the ringside area, the garbage can is now a mangled piece of metal, and Goldberg is laid out and wearing the "crimson mask".) (A moment later, the AGW Intercontinental Champion Alex Star slowly walks out, to a good pop from the crowd. He makes his way to Goldberg and New Jack. He is wearing one of his lavish pink and silver robes, and he is carrying a can of spray paint in one hand with a microphone in the other.) ALEX STAR: *shaking his head* Goldberg. The "Corporate" Coward, Liar, and thief. So you decided to steal my IC belt. Cheap, CHEAP heat. Well, you know what they always say: crime doesn't ... (Goldberg is back up to his hands and his knees now. Alex Star takes this opportunity to rear back and kick him directly in his rib cage. Star's microphone picks up the loud THUD, and Goldberg goes back down, writhing in pain.) ALEX STAR: PAY!! *crowd pops* Now, honestly, you're not worth my breath. So I'll let my bodyguard take care of business and let these actions speak for themselves. (Alex Star removes HIS IC Belt from Goldberg's waist. He takes the can of spray paint and begins to repaint the belt ... but hesitates. Instead, Star walks over to Goldberg and uses the can of YELLOW spray paint to make a HUGE YELLOW STREAK up and down Goldberg's back. Star then removes a can of PINK spray paint from his robe and repaints the letters ACC on the AGW IC Belt. Star then struts back to the locker room, with the Gold in tow; while New Jack drags Goldberg to the ring and throws him in. As soon as New Jack follows him in, Brolly charges and the street fight begins.) New Jack vs Brolly Mort: "Star bitches about cheap heat and takes a few cheap shots..." Brolly attacks New Jack before the bell. Brolly hits New Jack with a fist to the midsection. Brolly hits New Jack with a jack-knife power bomb. Teddy Long counts: One, two, kickout. Brolly executes a stomachbreaker on New Jack. Brolly goes for an uppercut punch, but New Jack side-steps and Brolly only hits air. New Jack holds his arms up and makes an "X". New Jack locks Brolly in a sleeperhold. Brolly reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. New Jack holds his arms up and makes an "X". New Jack executes a short lariat on Brolly. Teddy Long counts: One, shoulder up. New Jack holds his arms up and makes an "X". New Jack takes Brolly down with a facerake. New Jack uses a rolling kick on Brolly. New Jack gives the sign for the Gangsta Splash. New Jack goes for the Gangsta Splash, but Brolly counters it with a knee pull-up . Brolly runs into the ropes. New Jack locks Brolly in a chokehold. Brolly is struggling to reach the ropes. Brolly tries to escape the hold. Brolly breaks the hold after 16 seconds. Brolly tags out to Bill Goldberg. Bill Goldberg goes for an atomic drop, but New Jack counters it with an elbowsmash. New Jack hits Bill Goldberg with a backbreaker. New Jack whips Bill Goldberg into the ropes. New Jack gives him a backbreaker, but Bill Goldberg doesn't budge. Bill Goldberg nails New Jack with a series of kicks. Bill Goldberg uses a backward kick on New Jack. Bill Goldberg whips New Jack into the turnbuckle, but New Jack reverses it. New Jack goes for a swinging punch, but Bill Goldberg counters it with a roundhouse right. Bill Goldberg nails New Jack with a low blow. Bill Goldberg hits a DDT on New Jack. Bill Goldberg uses a double underhook piledriver on New Jack. Bill Goldberg tags out to Brolly. Brolly whips New Jack into the turnbuckle. Brolly charges in with an avalanche, but New Jack moves out of the way. New Jack chops Brolly. New Jack hits Brolly. Brolly kicks New Jack. Brolly kicks New Jack. New Jack punches Brolly. Brolly kicks New Jack. New Jack chops Brolly. Brolly punches New Jack. New Jack hits Brolly. New Jack tags out to Bill Goldberg. Bill Goldberg uses a backdrop on Brolly. Bill Goldberg uses a kick to the head on Brolly. Bill Goldberg whips Brolly into the ropes, but Brolly reverses it. Brolly hits Bill Goldberg with a kick. Brolly tags out to New Jack. New Jack runs into the ropes. Bill Goldberg takes New Jack down with an enzuigiri to the face. Bill Goldberg hits a fireman's carry on New Jack. New Jack uses a Death Valley Driver on Bill Goldberg. New Jack uses a superkick on Bill Goldberg. New Jack goes for a swinging punch, but Bill Goldberg counters it with a roundhouse right. Bill Goldberg nails New Jack with an avalanche. Bill Goldberg hits New Jack with an atomic drop. Bill Goldberg executes a back elbow on New Jack. Bill Goldberg whips New Jack into the ropes. Bill Goldberg locks New Jack in a chokehold. New Jack is inching his way towards the ropes. New Jack is barely hanging in there. Teddy Long checks New Jack's arm. He lifts it... it stays up ! New Jack fights his way out of the hold after 20 seconds. New Jack executes a roundhouse right on Bill Goldberg. New Jack tags out to Brolly. Brolly takes Bill Goldberg down with a scoop powerslam. Teddy Long counts: One, two, shoulder up. Brolly runs into the ropes. Brolly hits Bill Goldberg with a clothesline. Brolly whips Bill Goldberg into the ropes. Bill Goldberg goes for a lariat, but Brolly counters it with a Gorilla Press. Brolly nails Bill Goldberg with a scoop powerslam. Teddy Long counts: One, two, kickout. Brolly goes for an uppercut punch, but Bill Goldberg blocks it. Bill Goldberg throws Brolly out of the ring. Bill Goldberg goes through the ropes. Klilyn comes from behind, but Bill Goldberg nails Klilyn. Brolly goes for the Brolly Face Slam, but Bill Goldberg counters it with a facerake. Bill Goldberg nails Brolly with a clothesline. Brolly is busted wide open. Klilyn comes from behind and distracts Bill Goldberg. Brolly is handed a baseball bat. Brolly hits him with the baseball bat. Brolly hits a headbutt on Bill Goldberg. Brolly hits him with the baseball bat. Bill Goldberg is busted wide open. Brolly reenters the ring. Bill Goldberg follows him back in. Bill Goldberg brings the table into the ring. Brolly uses a belly-to-back suplex on Bill Goldberg. Brolly takes Bill Goldberg down with a power bomb. Brolly nails Bill Goldberg with a choke slam. Brolly whips Bill Goldberg into the ropes, but Bill Goldberg reverses it. Brolly nails Bill Goldberg with a clothesline. Brolly sets up Bill Goldberg on the table. Brolly executes a power bomb through the table. The table didn't break. Brolly hits a fist to the midsection on Bill Goldberg. Brolly locks Bill Goldberg in a full nelson. Bill Goldberg tries to escape the hold. Bill Goldberg reaches the ropes after being trapped for 13 seconds. Brolly goes for a palm blow, but Bill Goldberg blocks it. Bill Goldberg runs into the ropes. Klilyn trips Bill Goldberg. Bill Goldberg nails Brolly with a kick to the groin. Bill Goldberg takes Brolly down with a forearm to the back. Bill Goldberg sets up Brolly on the table. Bill Goldberg executes a DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. Bill Goldberg throws Brolly out of the ring. Bill Goldberg goes through the ropes. Bill Goldberg whips Brolly into the guardrail. Bill Goldberg takes Brolly down with a series of kicks. Bill Goldberg knocks Brolly into the ringsteps. Bill Goldberg whips Brolly into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Brolly executes the Brolly Face Slam on Bill Goldberg on the concrete floor. Bill Goldberg is out cold. Brolly executes a running power bomb on Bill Goldberg. Brolly knocks Bill Goldberg into the ringsteps. Brolly knocks Bill Goldberg into the ringsteps. Brolly hits a headbutt on Bill Goldberg. Brolly is handed a beer bottle. Brolly hits him with the beer bottle. Brolly hits Bill Goldberg with a jack-knife power bomb. Brolly hits him with the beer bottle. Brolly whips Bill Goldberg into the guardrail. Brolly hits him with the beer bottle. They're brawling inside the ring area. Brolly hits him with a beer bottle. Brolly whips Bill Goldberg into the guardrail. Brolly uses an over-the-shoulder stomachbreaker on Bill Goldberg. They're brawling inside the ring area. Brolly goes for a stomachbreaker, but Bill Goldberg blocks it. Bill Goldberg whips Brolly into the guardrail. Bill Goldberg sets up a table. Bill Goldberg knocks Brolly into the ringsteps. Bill Goldberg hits a punch on Brolly. Klilyn comes from behind, but Bill Goldberg nails Klilyn. Brolly sets up Bill Goldberg on the table. Brolly tries to drive Bill Goldberg through the table with a splash, but he blocks it. Bill Goldberg whips Brolly into the guardrail. Bill Goldberg takes Brolly down with a dropkick. Bill Goldberg reenters the ring. Brolly follows him back in. Bill Goldberg is going for the pin. Teddy Long counts: One, two, KICKOUT. Brolly goes for a chokehold, but Bill Goldberg counters it with a kick to the midsection. Bill Goldberg executes a series of kicks on Brolly. Bill Goldberg nails Brolly with a low blow. Bill Goldberg hits a DDT on Brolly. Bill Goldberg takes Brolly down with a football tackle. Bill Goldberg whips Brolly into the ropes. Brolly misses with a clothesline. Bill Goldberg goes for a clothesline, but Brolly ducks out of the way. Brolly takes Bill Goldberg down with a jack-knife power bomb. Teddy Long counts: One, two, in the ropes... Brolly leaves the ring. He returns with a crutch. Brolly hits him with the crutch. Brolly takes Bill Goldberg down with a fist to the midsection. Brolly hits him with a crutch. Brolly nails Bill Goldberg with a running power bomb. Teddy Long counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Brolly hits him with a crutch. Brolly gives him a vertical suplex, but Bill Goldberg doesn't budge. Brolly chops Bill Goldberg. Brolly chops Bill Goldberg. Brolly punches Bill Goldberg. Bill Goldberg punches Brolly. Bill Goldberg kicks Brolly. Brolly chops Bill Goldberg. Brolly punches Bill Goldberg. Brolly uses a running power bomb on Bill Goldberg. Teddy Long counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Brolly executes the Brolly Face Slam on Bill Goldberg. Brolly goes for the pin. Teddy Long counts: One, two, three. Bill Goldberg complains about a fast count. Bill Goldberg has been eliminated. The winner is Brolly. Time of match: 0:13:24 Mort: "Well, obviously, Brolly and New Jack wanted to get rid of Goldberg. Brolly finishes him off with the Face Slam but you have to give Goldberg some credit for taking that much abuse." New Jack vs Brolly _ They lock up. Brolly hits New Jack with a running power bomb. Teddy Long counts: One, two, kickout. Brolly takes New Jack down with an uppercut punch. Brolly goes for a backbreaker, but New Jack counters it with a facerake. New Jack whips Brolly into the ropes. Brolly misses with a shoulderblock. New Jack hits Brolly with a kick. New Jack runs into the ropes. Brolly uses a choke slam on New Jack. Brolly executes a punch on New Jack. Brolly hits him with a crutch. Brolly executes a vertical suplex on New Jack. Brolly takes New Jack down with a series of punches. Brolly runs into the ropes. Brolly hits New Jack with a clothesline. Brolly hits New Jack with a backbreaker. Brolly nails New Jack with a running power bomb. Teddy Long counts: One, two, kickout. Brolly uses a vertical suplex on New Jack. Brolly puts New Jack in a chokehold. New Jack reaches the ropes after being trapped for 30 seconds. Brolly whips New Jack into the ropes. Brolly gets a bearhug on New Jack. New Jack reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Brolly hits him with a crutch. New Jack is busted wide open. Brolly executes the Brolly Face Slam on New Jack. Brolly goes for the pin. Teddy Long counts: One, two, three. New Jack has been eliminated. The winner is Brolly. Time of match: 0:16:09 Mort: "Can you say...Brolly and nothing but Brolly? New Jack is wiped out and wiped out quick. Next up is a non title bout featuring the TV Chamion, Joshua Gardner and the IC Champ, Alex Star." ~~~~~ This contest is a non-title-no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Hailing from Hollywood, California... Weighing in at 267 pounds... The AGW TV Champion... "Gorgeous" Joshua Gardner His opponent... Led to the ring by New Jack, Jessica Carter and 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... Hailing from Malibu, California... Weighing in at 282 pounds... The AGW Intercontinental Champion... Alex Star Joshua Gardner vs Alex Star They lock up. Joshua Gardner whips Alex Star into the turnbuckle. Joshua Gardner executes a punch on Alex Star. Joshua Gardner hits a punch on Alex Star. Joshua Gardner hits Alex Star with a vertical facebuster. Joshua Gardner executes the Executive Decision on Alex Star. Alex Star is valiantly trying to break the hold. Alex Star is inching his way towards the ropes. Alex Star tries to fight the pain. Alex Star submits after 33 seconds. The winner is Joshua Gardner. Time of match: 0:00:47 Mort: "Holy shit....What the hell happened to Star? The Executive Decision makes another victim out of Star....damn... Next up, the 3 man Tag Team Titles are on the line as the Saiyans and Brolly try to take them from DX and Quackman....and will someone please keep Diacomo the hell away from me..." ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-six man tag team match scheduled for one fall. It is for the AGW 3 Man Tag Team Titles. Introducing first... Led to the ring by Klilyn and Nappa... At a total combined weight of 891 pounds... The Saiyans and Brolly Their opponents... Led to the ring by Alex DiGiacomo and Rufus... At a total combined weight of 584 pounds... The AGW 3 Man Tag Team Champions... DX and Quackman Vegeta vs Terrance M. Garvin They lock up. Terrance M. Garvin whips Vegeta into the ropes. Vegeta uses a swinging neckbreaker on Terrance M. Garvin. Vegeta goes for a Frankensteiner, but Terrance M. Garvin counters it with a power bomb. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, shoulder up. Terrance M. Garvin executes a back heel kick on Vegeta. Terrance M. Garvin uses a hiptoss on Vegeta. Terrance M. Garvin goes for a German suplex, but Vegeta blocks it. Vegeta whips Terrance M. Garvin into the ropes. Vegeta catches Terrance M. Garvin totally by surprise. Vegeta executes the Final Flash on Terrance M. Garvin. Vegeta goes for the pin. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. Terrance M. Garvin begs off. Vegeta executes a series of punches on Terrance M. Garvin. Vegeta uses a series of knees on Terrance M. Garvin. Vegeta leaves the ring. He returns with a prosthetic leg. Vegeta hits him with the prosthetic leg. Vegeta tags out to Brolly. Brolly goes for a chokehold, but Terrance M. Garvin counters it with a kick to the midsection. Terrance M. Garvin goes for the Lithium, but Brolly counters it with a backdrop. Brolly nails Terrance M. Garvin with a clothesline. Brolly is going for the pin. Mr. Bitter counts: One, two, three. The winners are The Saiyans and Brolly. Time of match: 0:01:27 Mort: "YES! THE CORPORATION IS HANDED NOT ONLY A LOSS BUT THEY LOSE SOME BELTS TOO! Brolly with the massive clothesline takes out the _Pink One_ Terrance Garvin. Brolly has a shiny again. The Womens Title on the line next as Quetesh defends against Blue Mary...." ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... From Southtown, USA... Weighing in at 115 pounds... Blue Mary Her opponent... Led to the ring by Malik Shabazz... Fighting out of Harlem, New York... Weighing in at 180 pounds... Qetesh Blue Mary vs Qetesh They lock up. Qetesh puts Blue Mary in the Cross-faced chicken wing. Blue Mary reaches the ropes after being trapped for 6 seconds. Qetesh takes Blue Mary down with a headbutt. Qetesh whips Blue Mary into the ropes. Blue Mary goes for a spinning heel kick, but Qetesh blocks it. Qetesh executes a front slam on Blue Mary. Qetesh executes a faceslam on Blue Mary. Qetesh puts Blue Mary in a Boston crab. Blue Mary tries to escape the hold. Blue Mary reaches the ropes after being trapped for 8 seconds. Qetesh throws Blue Mary out of the ring. Qetesh goes through the ropes. Qetesh executes an enzuigiri on Blue Mary. Malik Shabazz comes from behind and distracts Blue Mary. Qetesh reenters the ring. Blue Mary follows her back in. Qetesh is going for the pin. Bowen Murphy counts: One, shoulder up. Qetesh executes a forearm to the back on Blue Mary. Qetesh throws Blue Mary out of the ring. Qetesh goes through the ropes. Qetesh executes an enzuigiri on Blue Mary. Qetesh takes Blue Mary down with a monkey flip. Qetesh is handed the tire iron. Qetesh hits her with the tire iron. Qetesh throws Blue Mary back into the ring. Qetesh brings the the tire iron into the ring. Blue Mary hits a superkick on Qetesh. Blue Mary nails Qetesh with a cartwheel kick. Blue Mary hits a scissor kick on Qetesh. Blue Mary whips Qetesh into the ropes. Qetesh misses with a clothesline. Qetesh hits Blue Mary with an elbow. Qetesh takes a swing at Blue Mary with the tire iron, but she gets out of the way. Blue Mary snatches the tire iron from her. Blue Mary hits her with the tire iron. Blue Mary takes Qetesh down with flying ass press. Blue Mary hits a leg lariat on Qetesh. Blue Mary throws Qetesh out of the ring. Blue Mary jumps onto her with a baseball slide. Blue Mary takes Qetesh down with a series of palm strikes. Blue Mary knocks Qetesh into the ringsteps. They're brawling inside the ring area. They're brawling inside the ring area. Qetesh is handed the chain. Qetesh takes a swing at Blue Mary with the chain, but she gets out of the way. Blue Mary snatches the chain from her. Blue Mary hits her with the chain. Blue Mary sets up a table. Blue Mary executes a cartwheel kick on Qetesh. Blue Mary is handed a fire extinguisher. Blue Mary takes a swing at Qetesh with the fire extinguisher, but she gets out of the way. Qetesh snatches the fire extinguisher from her. Qetesh hits her with the fire extinguisher. They're brawling inside the ring area. Blue Mary hits her with a fire extinguisher. Blue Mary goes for a roundhouse kick, but Qetesh blocks it. Malik Shabazz comes from behind and distracts Blue Mary. Qetesh sets up Blue Mary on the table. Qetesh executes a piledriver through the table. The table is broken in half. They're brawling inside the ring area. Malik Shabazz comes from behind and distracts Blue Mary. They're brawling inside the ring area. Blue Mary hits Qetesh with a reverse DDT. Blue Mary is handed a bullrope. Blue Mary hits her with the bullrope. Malik Shabazz comes from behind, but Blue Mary nails Malik Shabazz. Qetesh throws Blue Mary back into the ring. Qetesh brings the the bullrope into the ring. Blue Mary whips Qetesh into the ropes, but Qetesh reverses it. Malik Shabazz pulls down the top rope. Qetesh goes through the ropes. Qetesh whips Blue Mary into the guardrail. Qetesh nails Blue Mary with a double-axhandle chop. Qetesh hits a brain buster on Blue Mary. Qetesh throws Blue Mary back into the ring. Qetesh gives the sign for the Nubian Pride. Qetesh executes the Nubian Pride on Blue Mary. Bowen Murphy counts: One, two, three. The winner is Qetesh. Time of match: 0:09:12 Tiffany Jones runs to the ring, pulls Qetesh up by her hair and plants her back down with a DDT. Tiffany picks up Blue Mary and whips her into the corner, following her in with a head snapping clothesline. Tiffany walks back, picks up Qetesh again, whips her into the same corner as Blue Mary and chases her in with another clothesline. Qetesh falls to the mat, Tiffany rolls her onto her back and then lays Blue Mary down so that her head is in Qetesh_s...groin area... Tiffany climbs to the top rope, jumps off and drops an elbow on Blue Mary_s head, driving it down hard into Qetesh_s....groin area... Tiffany gets up smiling and slides out of the ring. Mort: "Well....I think that the lesbians are tired of being ignored....Qetesh retains the title but I think she_s got on someone_s shit list....Up next we_ve got...what? I_m out of time? I HAVEN_T BEEN ON THE AIR IN THREE WEEKS AND YOU_RE CUTTING ME OFF NOW? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS....." The camera fades to black and goes to a commercial for the best selling self help book, "10 Steps for People Who Claim to Know Famous People." (The cameras zoom in on the announcer's booth as the crowd is going wild.) "Fast" Eddie Lombardi: Hello, and welcome back as we continue with the AGW Lethal Lottery PPV! I'm "Fast" Eddie Lombardi, leader of the Kalamazoo mob, and with me as always is my right hand man...Johnny "Lefty" Benito! Lefty: Hey, Eddie... Lombardi: WHAT DID YOU SAY?? Lefty: Uh...I mean "the Don, with whom the sun rises and sets..." Lombardi: That's better...now, did you have a question? Lefty: Kinda...what the hell is that tent that they're putting up in the back? Lombardi: You know, Johnny, I'm glad that you asked me that...cause kiddies, your favorite diversion is back...yes, you know, it's "'Fast' Eddie Lombardi's Traveling Casino-in-a-tent!" That's right kiddies...bring all your allowance money down to the dealers...you can play our fun games...all the little boys and girls will love "Rugrats Slots!!" Lefty: Wow, you're really sinking to new lows today... Lombardi: WHAT DID YOU SAY?? Lefty: It was the little kid... Lombardi: HEY KID!! You wanna mess with this?? My goons will take your lunch money... Lefty: We've seen a lot of interesting things happen today, haven't we? Lombardi: Yeah...I saw that guy get his head put in a vice... Lefty: I'm talking about the wresting...and remember, we're on TV... Lombardi: OH! Yes we have! And I have been here since 12:00 today...and I have not left the premises to take part in activities that may be deemed "illegal" by the suits... Lefty: That's good to hear.... Lombardi: No, we brought 'em here... Lefty: Oh brother. Well, one of the many surprises that we've seen today has to be the Lethal Lottery. We're getting ready now for our TV title match..."Most Gorgeous" Joshua Gardner has to defend his gold against the Second Runner-up, and a real surprise, 'The Prodigy' Jimmy Crush. Lombardi: Yeah, Crush is gonna get his. Lefty: You are really that sure Gardner is gonna win? Lombardi: Nah, his fat ass owes me money. Lefty: For what? Betting? Lombardi: Nah...pizza. Lefty: Shoulda figured. Let's go to the ring. ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-scheduled for one fall. It is for the AGW TV Title. Introducing first... Hailing from Buffalo, NY... Weighing in at 220 pounds... "The Prodigy" Jimmy Crush His opponent... From Hollywood, California... Weighing in at 267 pounds... The AGW TV Champion... "Gorgeous" Joshua Gardner They lock up. Joshua Gardner catches Jimmy Crush in an achilles tendon hold. Jimmy Crush is struggling to reach the ropes. Jimmy Crush reaches the ropes after being trapped for 11 seconds. Joshua Gardner runs into the ropes. Joshua Gardner misses with a kick. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with a clothesline. Jimmy Crush falls out of the ring. Joshua Gardner jumps onto him with a baseball slide. Joshua Gardner whips Jimmy Crush into the guardrail. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with a vertical facebuster. Joshua Gardner executes an armdrag takedown on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner whips Jimmy Crush into the guardrail. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with a vertical facebuster. Joshua Gardner throws Jimmy Crush back into the ring. Joshua Gardner gives "Stunning" Stacey Davis a passionate kiss. Lombardi: I'll take some of that too...come here baby... Lefty: What about Mrs. Lombardi? Lombardi: What about her? Joshua Gardner goes for a Russian legsweep, but Jimmy Crush counters it with an elbowsmash. Jimmy Crush takes Joshua Gardner down with a flying dropkick. Jimmy Crush whips Joshua Gardner into the ropes. Joshua Gardner misses with a clothesline. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with a clothesline. Joshua Gardner goes for an elbow to the midsection, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Jimmy Crush hits an inverted atomic drop on Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush hits a flying forearm on Joshua Gardner. Derek Aston counts: One, two, shoulder up. Jimmy Crush complains about a slow count. Jimmy Crush goes for a chinlock deathlock submission, but Joshua Gardner counters it with a facerake. Joshua Gardner takes Jimmy Crush down with a vertical facebuster. Joshua Gardner gives "Stunning" Stacey Davis a passionate kiss. Joshua Gardner goes for the Executive Decision, but Jimmy Crush counters it with a kick-off. Jimmy Crush hits a flying dropkick on Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush hits a flying forearm on Joshua Gardner. Derek Aston counts: One, kickout. Jimmy Crush whips Joshua Gardner into the ropes. Jimmy Crush misses with a shoulderblock. Jimmy Crush goes for a palm blow, but Joshua Gardner blocks it. Joshua Gardner uses a running power bomb on Jimmy Crush. Derek Aston counts: One, kickout. Joshua Gardner takes Jimmy Crush down with an inverted DDT. Joshua Gardner goes for an inverted backbreaker, but Jimmy Crush counters it with a backdrop. Jimmy Crush yells "I'm the firestarter!". Lefty: Which oughta remind everyone that we have our Cathedral Inferno Match coming up... Lombardi: What was that? You work for WCW? WATCH THE DAMN MATCH... Jimmy Crush whips Joshua Gardner into the ropes. Joshua Gardner hits a back heel kick on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner goes for a back heel kick, but Jimmy Crush ducks out of the way. Jimmy Crush goes for a standing wristlock, but Joshua Gardner blocks it. Joshua Gardner executes an inverted DDT on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner takes Jimmy Crush down with a powerslam. Derek Aston counts: One, two, kickout. Joshua Gardner goes for a flying shoulderblock, but Jimmy Crush ducks out of the way. Jimmy Crush runs into the ropes. Joshua Gardner gets an abdominal stretch on Jimmy Crush. Jimmy Crush reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Joshua Gardner executes an elbow to the midsection on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner uses a vertical facebuster on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner gives "Stunning" Stacey Davis a passionate kiss. Lombardi: The last time I saw this much tongue was at a KISS concert...BADA BING... Joshua Gardner goes for the Executive Decision, but Jimmy Crush counters it with a kick-off. Jimmy Crush runs into the ropes. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with a back heel kick. Joshua Gardner uses a flying shoulderblock on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner executes a running power bomb on Jimmy Crush. Derek Aston counts: One, two, kickout. Joshua Gardner runs into the ropes. Jimmy Crush uses a thrust kick to the head on Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush attempts to place Joshua Gardner on the turnbuckle, but Joshua Gardner blocks it. Jimmy Crush goes for a flying forearm, but Joshua Gardner ducks out of the way. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush. Jimmy Crush chops Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush kicks Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush hits Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush goes for a palm blow, but Joshua Gardner blocks it. Joshua Gardner goes for a fireman's carry into a flapjack, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Jimmy Crush hits a brain buster on Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush executes a flying dropkick on Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush yells "I'm the firestarter!". Jimmy Crush throws Joshua Gardner out of the ring. Jimmy Crush goes through the ropes. Jimmy Crush nails Joshua Gardner with a diving shoulderblock. Jimmy Crush knocks Joshua Gardner into the ringsteps. Jimmy Crush is handed metal chair. Jimmy Crush hits him with the chair. Jimmy Crush rams him into metal chair. Lefty: The challenger with a ton of offense...Gardner's hurting... Jimmy Crush yells "I'm the firestarter!". Jimmy Crush goes for a jumping DDT, but Joshua Gardner throws him off. Joshua Gardner knocks Jimmy Crush into the ringsteps. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with a jack-knife power bomb. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with a vertical facebuster. Joshua Gardner goes for an atomic drop, but Jimmy Crush counters it with a bulldog. Jimmy Crush throws Joshua Gardner back into the ring. Jimmy Crush brings the table into the ring. Joshua Gardner takes Jimmy Crush down with an inverted DDT. Joshua Gardner executes the Executive Decision on Jimmy Crush. Lefty: EXECUTIVE DECISION...the Burger King must be coming back up...hope we don't have to change Jimmy's name to "Ralph"... Jimmy Crush is inching his way towards the ropes. Jimmy Crush tries to escape the hold. Jimmy Crush summons one last burst of energy. Derek Aston tells Jimmy Crush to respond or he'll stop the fight. Jimmy Crush nods. Derek Aston tells Jimmy Crush to respond or he'll stop the fight. Jimmy Crush nods. Derek Aston checks Jimmy Crush's arm. He lifts it... it stays up ! Jimmy Crush fights his way out of the hold after 35 seconds. Lombardi: His fat ass got out? HIS FAT ASS GOT OUT!!! Jimmy Crush punches Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush chops Joshua Gardner. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush. Jimmy Crush kicks Joshua Gardner. Joshua Gardner punches Jimmy Crush. Jimmy Crush kicks Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush hits Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush hits Joshua Gardner with a brain buster. Jimmy Crush is going for the pin. Derek Aston counts: One, two, kickout. Jimmy Crush whips Joshua Gardner into the ropes, but Joshua Gardner reverses it. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with an elbow. Joshua Gardner hits Jimmy Crush with a double underhook backbreaker. Joshua Gardner hits an elbow to the midsection on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner takes Jimmy Crush down with a vertical facebuster. Joshua Gardner sets up Jimmy Crush on the table. Joshua Gardner executes a top-rope Death Valley Driver through the table. The table didn't break. Joshua Gardner executes the Executive Decision on Jimmy Crush. Lombardi: Uh-oh...he's in big trouble now... Jimmy Crush reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Lefty: Amazing!! Joshua Gardner goes for an elbow to the midsection, but Jimmy Crush blocks it. Jimmy Crush places Joshua Gardner on the turnbuckle. Jimmy Crush hits a superplex on Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush runs into the ropes. Joshua Gardner misses with a clothesline. Joshua Gardner uses a back elbow on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner is going for the pin. Derek Aston counts: One, two, in the ropes... Joshua Gardner hits a Vader attack on Jimmy Crush. Joshua Gardner hits a running powerslam on Jimmy Crush. Derek Aston counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. Joshua Gardner goes for a powerslam, but Jimmy Crush counters it with a lariat. Jimmy Crush executes the Jimmy Crusher on Joshua Gardner. Jimmy Crush goes for the pin. Derek Aston counts: One, two, three. The winner is Jimmy Crush. Time of match: 0:10:31 Lefty: WHAT THE... Lombardi: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT...JIMMY CRUSH IS THE NEW AGW TELEVISION CHAMPION... Lefty: He's stumbling back up...Josh Gardner gave him the fight of his life, and Jimmy Crush responded with a victory...must be those Twinkies... Lombardi: Damn Twinkies...the odds on this were crazy...luckily, the only person who bet on his fat ass was my crazy Grandma...damn windbag... Lefty: Yeah...and if we thought that Jimmy was happy, look at Regis...he's jumping up and down like a little kid... Lombardi: He ALWAYS does that. Lefty: Oh, yeah... Lombardi: Well, I can tell you one thing. My useless waste of space Grandma won't make it very far with that money...my boys will make sure of that... Lefty: Aren't you afraid of your mom? Lombardi: Hell no...she don't know my new cell phone number...she can't stop me... Lefty: Well, that's great...as the ring clears, we are now looking at a live image of the Cathedral for our next match on the Racertron... Lombardi: And since a Hall of Famer cannot wrestle for a belt, the Lethal Lottery didn't decide the challenger for the Anything Goes Title, it's now a FOUR-WAY match. Lefty: You are correct. Extremely Hardcore Brawler joins Brad Steel, Doomsday, and Father Arson for a four way Cathedral Inferno Match. You wanna explain it? Lombardi: No, but since your stupid ass ain't gonna, it would be your pleasure to listen to me. To eliminate your opponent, you just throw him in one of my patented Boxes o' Pain and Mild Discomfort, filled with glass, thumbtacks, and nails. Then, the winner gets to set the building on fire...sounds like a family reunion to me... Lefty: Sure does. Now, there really is a make-shift ring set up in here and everything... this should be great...let's go to it!! ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-Insane Death four corners match scheduled for one fall. It is for the AGW Anything Goes Title. Introducing first... From The Philipines... Weighing in at 265 pounds... "The Pyro Priest" Father Arson His opponent... From parts unknown... Weighing in at 265 pounds... Doomsday Their opponent... From Philadelphia, PA... Weighing in at 250 pounds... Brad Steel Their opponent... From The Bronx... Weighing in at 325 pounds... The AGW Anything Goes Champion... Extremely Hardcore Brawler They lock up. Brad Steel whips Father Arson into the barbed wire. Brad Steel throws Father Arson out of the ring. Brad Steel jumps onto him with a Springboard Moonsault. Brad Steel uses a reverse neckbreaker on Father Arson. Brad Steel hits Father Arson with a 450 splash. Brad Steel executes the Steel-Driver on Father Arson on the concrete floor. Father Arson is out cold. They're brawling inside the ring area. Brad Steel hits Father Arson with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Brad Steel hits Father Arson with a vertical suplex. Brad Steel knocks Father Arson into the ringsteps. Brad Steel whips Father Arson into the guardrail. Brad Steel hits Father Arson with a low blow. Brad Steel knocks Father Arson into the ringpost. Brad Steel is handed a bottle. Brad Steel hits him with the bottle. Brad Steel goes for a back suplex, but Father Arson turns in mid-air and lands on him. Brad Steel is busted wide open. Lombardi: Already bleeding! I love this stuff!! They're brawling inside the ring area. Father Arson hits Brad Steel with a forearm to the back. Father Arson goes for a piledriver, but Brad Steel blocks it. Brad Steel sets up a table. Brad Steel sets up Father Arson on the table. Brad Steel tries to drive Father Arson through the table with a DDT, but he blocks it. Father Arson sets up Brad Steel on the table. Father Arson executes a DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. Father Arson hits Brad Steel with a fist to the midsection. Father Arson whips Brad Steel into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Father Arson takes Brad Steel down with a headbutt. Father Arson reenters the ring. Brad Steel follows him back in. Father Arson goes for a piledriver, but Brad Steel counters it with a slingshot into the turnbuckle. Brad Steel tries to put Father Arson in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Lombardi: And just remember...the Lombardi name on that box stands for quality... Father Arson blocks it. Father Arson goes for an achilles tendon hold, but Brad Steel blocks it. Brad Steel kicks Father Arson. Brad Steel chops Father Arson. Brad Steel goes for a bulldog, but Father Arson blocks it. Father Arson kicks Brad Steel. Father Arson kicks Brad Steel. Father Arson kicks Brad Steel. Brad Steel hits Father Arson. Brad Steel hits Father Arson. Brad Steel leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Brad Steel sets up the chair. Brad Steel hits Father Arson with a backspin DDT onto the chair. Brad Steel nails Father Arson with a DDT. Brad Steel leaves the ring. He returns with a garbage can lid. Brad Steel takes a swing at Father Arson with the garbage can lid, but he gets out of the way. Father Arson snatches the garbage can lid from him. Father Arson hits him with the garbage can lid. Father Arson hits Brad Steel with a piledriver. Father Arson hits him with a garbage can lid. Father Arson executes a DDT on Brad Steel. Father Arson gets a front facelock on Brad Steel. Brad Steel is valiantly trying to break the hold. Brad Steel tries to escape the hold. Brad Steel reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds. Father Arson hits a reverse neckbreaker on Brad Steel. Bowen Murphy removes the chair from the ring. Father Arson hits him with a garbage can lid. The garbage can lid is broken in half. Lefty: Wow! We're not too far into the match, but this is crazy here...things could get out of control quickly...these guys are taking a TON of punishment... Father Arson goes for a headlock takedown, but Brad Steel throws him off. Brad Steel takes Father Arson down with a brain buster. Brad Steel tags out to Doomsday. Doomsday gets on one knee and makes the sign of the cross. Doomsday nails Father Arson with a flying forearm. Doomsday hits an inverted atomic drop on Father Arson. Doomsday tags out to Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a dropkick to the groin on Father Arson. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Father Arson into the barbed wire, but Father Arson reverses it. Father Arson tags out to Doomsday. Doomsday takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a kneebreaker. Doomsday whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the barbed wire. Brad Steel is bleeding like a faucet. Doomsday goes for a spinebuster slam, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a kneelift. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Doomsday down with a flying bulldog. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Doomsday into the barbed wire, but Doomsday reverses it. Doomsday punches Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Doomsday hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Doomsday grinds Extremely Hardcore Brawler's face across the barbed wire. Doomsday tags out to Brad Steel. Brad Steel uses a backdrop on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a cobra clutch, but Brad Steel blocks it. Brad Steel throws Extremely Hardcore Brawler out of the ring. Brad Steel goes through the ropes. Brad Steel knocks Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ringsteps. Brad Steel whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the guardrail. Brad Steel goes for a hiptoss, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a facerake. Extremely Hardcore Brawler sets up a table. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Brad Steel into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Brad Steel with a dropkick to the groin. Extremely Hardcore Brawler throws Brad Steel back into the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a backbreaker, but Brad Steel counters it with a facerake. Brad Steel goes for a DDT, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a low blow. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tags out to Father Arson. Father Arson locks Brad Steel in an armbar submission. Brad Steel reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Father Arson tags out to Doomsday. Lefty: They seem to be ganging up on Steel! He's really hurting!! Doomsday nails Brad Steel with a double underhook piledriver. Doomsday tries to put Brad Steel in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Doomsday stuffs Brad Steel in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Doomsday closes the lid. Brad Steel has been eliminated. Lombardi: And Steel is out! And trust me, do to the sturdy construction of those boxes, he's not gonna be able to escape... Lefty: Do you always have to sell something? Lombardi: No, I can also extort, bribe, and steal!! Lefty: That's for sure... They lock up. Doomsday punches Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Doomsday hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Doomsday. Doomsday chops Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Doomsday kicks Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Doomsday tags out to Father Arson Father Arson nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a back suplex. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits the opponent with the chair that has"ASS" painted on it.. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a chokehold, but Father Arson blocks it. Father Arson hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a fist to the midsection. Father Arson goes for a headbutt, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes the Full Nelson...Of Pain on Father Arson. Father Arson is struggling to reach the ropes. Father Arson is valiantly trying to break the hold. Father Arson is inching his way towards the ropes. Father Arson is barely hanging in there. Father Arson summons one last burst of energy. Father Arson breaks the hold after 46 seconds. Father Arson nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a fist to the midsection. Father Arson kicks Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler punches Father Arson. Extremely Hardcore Brawler punches Father Arson. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Father Arson with a backbreaker. Lefty: These guys are tearing into each other!! This is brutal!! Lombardi: I've seen worse... Lefty: I bet you have... Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a knee to the groin, but Father Arson blocks it. Father Arson whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the barbed wire. Father Arson takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with an elbowsmash. Father Arson goes for a piledriver, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a backdrop. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Father Arson with a kick to the head. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tries to put Father Arson in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Father Arson blocks it. Father Arson whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the barbed wire, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler reverses it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler nails Father Arson with a double-axhandle chop. Extremely Hardcore Brawler gets a cobra clutch on Father Arson. Father Arson reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes a spinebuster slam on Father Arson. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a DDT, but Father Arson counters it with a kneebar. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is valiantly trying to break the hold. Extremely Hardcore Brawler reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Father Arson gives the sign for the Pray For Death. Father Arson executes the Pray For Death on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is struggling to reach the ropes. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is inching his way towards the ropes. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tries to fight the pain. Extremely Hardcore Brawler reaches the ropes after being trapped for 23 seconds. Father Arson tries to put Extremely Hardcore Brawler in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes a double-axhandle chop on Father Arson. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Father Arson with an inverted DDT. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Father Arson down with a flying elbowdrop. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tries to put Father Arson in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Father Arson blocks it. Father Arson nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a piledriver. Father Arson goes for a front facelock, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a backdrop. Lefty: What a counter!! Lombardi: Yeah, RIGHT. My wife coulda seen that one from Kalamazoo... Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Father Arson with a dropkick to the groin. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Father Arson down with a scoop powerslam. Extremely Hardcore Brawler leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler sets up the chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Father Arson with a front-layout suplex onto the chair. Bowen Murphy removes the chair from the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Father Arson down with an eye gouge. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a clawhold, but Father Arson blocks it. Father Arson goes for a bodyslam, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes the Full Nelson...Of Pain on Father Arson. Father Arson tries to escape the hold. Father Arson is inching his way towards the ropes. Father Arson tries to fight the pain. Father Arson is barely hanging in there. Father Arson is close to passing out from the pain. Father Arson is barely hanging in there. Father Arson reaches the ropes after being trapped for 59 seconds. Lombardi: He was in that for almost a minute...damn, musta been the holy water... Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Father Arson into the barbed wire, but Father Arson reverses it. Father Arson kicks Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson kicks Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson kicks Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson executes a kick to the head on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson hits a headlock takedown on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a German suplex. Father Arson tries to put Extremely Hardcore Brawler in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Father Arson stuffs Extremely Hardcore Brawler in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Lefty: We're getting word that our AGW staff is now putting gasoline around the outside of the building...they think this one could end anytime... Father Arson can't close the lid. Extremely Hardcore Brawler reenters the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler locks Father Arson in a chokehold. Father Arson reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Father Arson blesses him with a hard foot to the face.. Father Arson executes a back suplex on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson grinds Extremely Hardcore Brawler's face across the barbed wire. Father Arson tags out to Doomsday. Doomsday takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a dropkick to the knee. Doomsday gives the sign for the Ground Zero. Doomsday attempts to place Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the turnbuckle, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Doomsday executes a kick to the head on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Doomsday gets on one knee and makes the sign of the cross. Doomsday nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a dropkick to the knee. Doomsday throws Extremely Hardcore Brawler out of the ring. Doomsday goes through the ropes. Doomsday is handed a 2x4. Doomsday hits him with the 2x4. Doomsday takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a bulldog headlock. Doomsday throws Extremely Hardcore Brawler back into the ring. Doomsday brings the the 2x4 into the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits him with a 2x4. Extremely Hardcore Brawler uses headbutt to the groin on Doomsday. Lombardi: My doctor did that to me the other day...man, I need a lot of re-alignment... Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Doomsday down with the drop toehold onto a chair. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Doomsday into the barbed wire. Extremely Hardcore Brawler uses a low blow on Doomsday. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Doomsday into the turnbuckle. Extremely Hardcore Brawler runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Doomsday moves out of the way. Doomsday goes for a flying axhandle, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a punch. Extremely Hardcore Brawler gives him a spinebuster slam, but Doomsday doesn't even care. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits him with a 2x4. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes the Full Nelson...Of Pain on Doomsday. Doomsday tries to escape the hold. Doomsday breaks the hold after 9 seconds. Doomsday goes for a DDT, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a backdrop. In turn, Doomsday counters it with a sunset flip. Doomsday hits him with the 2x4. Doomsday whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the barbed wire, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler reverses it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Doomsday into the barbed wire, but Doomsday reverses it. Doomsday grinds Extremely Hardcore Brawler's face across the barbed wire. Doomsday grinds Extremely Hardcore Brawler's face across the barbed wire. Doomsday whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the barbed wire, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler reverses it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits him with a 2x4. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Doomsday into the turnbuckle. Extremely Hardcore Brawler uses a double-axhandle chop on Doomsday. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for headbutt to the groin, but Doomsday counters it with a power bomb. Doomsday goes for a spinebuster slam, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler counters it with a swinging neckbreaker. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a spinebuster slam on Doomsday. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tags out to Father Arson. Father Arson executes the Pray For Death on Doomsday. Doomsday breaks the hold after 7 seconds. Doomsday hits him with the 2x4. Doomsday whips Father Arson into the barbed wire. Doomsday gives the sign for the Ground Zero. Doomsday places Father Arson on the turnbuckle. Doomsday executes the Ground Zero on Father Arson. Lefty: Wow! Father Arson is in deep trouble... Doomsday hits him with a 2x4. Doomsday uses a European uppercut on Father Arson. Doomsday takes a swing at Father Arson with the 2x4, but he gets out of the way. Father Arson snatches the 2x4 from him. Father Arson takes a swing at Doomsday with the 2x4, but he gets out of the way. Doomsday snatches the 2x4 from him. Doomsday hits him with the 2x4. Doomsday uses a chop on Father Arson. Doomsday goes for a flying shoulderblock, but Father Arson counters it with a Yakuza kick. Father Arson hits Doomsday with a spinebuster slam. Father Arson tries to put Doomsday in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Father Arson stuffs Doomsday in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Father Arson closes the lid. Doomsday has been eliminated. Lombardi: I guess you were wrong...Father Arson eliminates Doomsday... Lefty: Well, this match certainly takes its toll on you...it's really rough... Lombardi: Sure...and of course, you don't want to end up in one of those WONDERFUL Lombardi Boxes O'... Lefty: Yeah, I'm sure THAT'S their motivation. The crew has finished with the gasoline... soon, one of these two is gonna get to set it off... They lock up. Father Arson whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the turnbuckle, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler reverses it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler rakes Father Arson's face across the barbed wire. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Father Arson into the barbed wire. Extremely Hardcore Brawler executes a dropkick to the groin on Father Arson. Extremely Hardcore Brawler takes Father Arson down with a kick to the midsection . Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits him with a 2x4. Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a cobra clutch, but Father Arson blocks it. Father Arson hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a Russian legsweep. Father Arson throws Extremely Hardcore Brawler out of the ring. Father Arson goes through the ropes. Father Arson sets up a table. Father Arson whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the guardrail. Father Arson whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the guardrail. Father Arson hits an enzuigiri on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson knocks Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ringpost. Father Arson hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a kneedrop. Father Arson knocks Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ringsteps. Father Arson takes Extremely Hardcore Brawler down with a kick to the head. Father Arson whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Father Arson reenters the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler follows him back in. Father Arson executes the Pray For Death on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is valiantly trying to break the hold. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is writhing in pain. Extremely Hardcore Brawler reaches the ropes after being trapped for 34 seconds. Lombardi: Extremely Hardcore Brawler can't have much left...he's in pain... Father Arson executes a German suplex on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson tries to put Extremely Hardcore Brawler in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Father Arson throws Extremely Hardcore Brawler out of the ring. Father Arson goes through the ropes. Father Arson sets up Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the table. Father Arson executes a DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. Father Arson executes a kneelift on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson knocks Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the ringsteps. Father Arson goes for a German suplex, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler throws Father Arson back into the ring. Extremely Hardcore Brawler brings the table into the ring. Father Arson sets up Extremely Hardcore Brawler on the table. Father Arson executes a back suplex through the table. The table is broken in half. Lefty: Man, who is the table vendor here? They certainly are getting a lot of business... wait a minute! Something's gone wrong? What? What happened? (All of a sudden, the image on the Racertron goes from the match to outside. We see an AGW cameraman screaming and running. The view pans to a spot about 50 feet from the house, where the stream of gasoline from the Cathedral has been lit! The fire spreads quickly to the building. The Cathedral is beginning to go up in flames...) Lefty: Wait...this isn't right!! This is too dangerous!! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!! The building is on fire, and the match is still going on!! Lombardi: Oh man...good thing that the AGW boys didn't do as good of a job as my boys always do...then the place would be gone already... Lefty: Someone get some help there!! This is a bad situation!! Father Arson goes for a bodyslam, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits a powerslam on Father Arson. Extremely Hardcore Brawler puts Father Arson in a chokehold. Father Arson is struggling to reach the ropes. Father Arson reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Father Arson with headbutt to the groin. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Father Arson. Father Arson chops Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson kicks Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson nails Extremely Hardcore Brawler with a dropkick to the knee. Father Arson whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the barbed wire. Father Arson punches Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler hits Father Arson. Father Arson hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson executes a headlock takedown on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson goes for a kick to the head, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler blocks it. Extremely Hardcore Brawler whips Father Arson into the barbed wire, but Father Arson reverses it. Father Arson whips Extremely Hardcore Brawler into the barbed wire, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler reverses it. Lefty: These guys are sweating like pigs from the intense heat! They don't even seem to notice that there's a fire around there!! Extremely Hardcore Brawler goes for a powerslam, but Father Arson counters it with a sunset flip. Father Arson chops Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson hits Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson hits a spinebuster slam on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Father Arson executes the Pray For Death on Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is valiantly trying to break the hold. Extremely Hardcore Brawler is inching his way towards the ropes. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tries to escape the hold. Extremely Hardcore Brawler reaches the ropes after being trapped for 27 seconds. Father Arson goes for a kneelift, but Extremely Hardcore Brawler side-steps and Father Arson only hits air. Extremely Hardcore Brawler tries to put Father Arson in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Extremely Hardcore Brawler stuffs Father Arson in the box of nails, glass, and thumbtacks. Extremely Hardcore Brawler closes the lid. Father Arson has been eliminated. The winner is Extremely Hardcore Brawler. Time of match: 0:27:11 Lefty: It's over!! Extremely Hardcore Brawler is turning towards the exits... Lombardi: He's gotta get out...that place is hotter than an oven!! Lefty: Wait! He's stopped! He's looking around! What the hell is he thinking!!! (Extremely Hardcore Brawler begins to frantically search the room. He finally finds what he's looking for...a chain.) Lombardi: What is he doing? Is he gonna chain himself there? (EHB then proceeds to run the big chain around all three boxes. Once he has them hooked up, he grabs the chain and begins to drag the boxes...) Lefty: He's insane!! He's......SAVING THEM!!! Lombardi: What an idiot!! (EHB musters all the strength that he can and drags the boxes out of the cathedral. The referee presents him with his belt as attendants rush to the boxes. EHB looks for a mic.) Lefty: He's a hero!! Get him a mic, he's got something to say!! (EHB gets a mic and looks at the camera.) EHB: ASS!!!!!!!!!! (He then collapses as the medics rush to his side. All four are eventually loaded into ambulances and taken away.) Lombardi: That goof...he still is the champ...but he could have died in there... Lefty: Well, he's not a spineless jellyfish, like other people we know... Lombardi: You implying me? Why, I oughta... (A cell phone rings. Lefty grabs his out of his pocket.) Lefty: Hello? Why yes, he's right here... (He hands Lombardi the phone.) Lombardi: Hello?...NO MA, I AIN'T GONNA HAVE GRANDMA WHACKED...I KNOW SHE'S A GREAT LADY... YEAH, I KNOW...NO DON'T KICK ME OUT...HE'S NOT MINE, I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES...NO, I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU...SORRY...YEAH, I LOVE YOU TOO MA... (He hangs up the phone.) Lombardi: Hey Lefty, how'd she get your number? Lefty: Uhhhhh...let's go to our next match...DX and Mark Paris will take on the Hardcore Pretty Boys and Gryphon. Gryph and Paris will meet later also...this oughta be a good one... ~~~~~ [Alex DiGiacomo comes down to the ring after HCPB and Gryphon] Alex: Whoa there, before you bring out The Corporation I have something to say. You know I have been playing this game of cat and mouse with you Gryph. I really had no idea where you stood. I really did not know what would hit you the hardest. Then it dawned on me. The only thing your dumb ass holds near and dear. Your el-famila. Yeah, you heard me Brad. Guess what? You did not take The Corporation and me serious sonny boy. Well, I guess we are going to have a little wake-up call. Wondering where Quackman went? Wondering why he's not out here? Well, its simple he's like you know with your bro. Yeah, you know the one. The one you helped raise. The one you hand fed medicnie to every day. Yeah, well now Quackman has him.... Gryphon: You know what? I'm really sick of you shit DiGiacomo. I know your li.... Alex: Why don't you check out the Jumbo-Tron. [On the Jumbo-Tron it shows Quackman holding Gryphon's brother, Jimmy. His face is partially hidden from a baseball hat] Gryphon: Your a sick fuck. How do I know that's him? Alex: Whoa watch your mouth. We don't allow that dirty talk. What do I want? I want its like you know a forefit win for Mark Paris. Now, hand me The Title over now. I WANT IT IN MY HANDS!!! PA SYSTEM: ARE YOU READY?...BREAK IT DOWN!!! [Shawn Michaels and Terrence Garvin come down to the ring] Alex: Wheres Mark? What are you doing? You know this is my time! ITS TIME FOR ME TO SHINE! Its like you know me. Shawn: You know, there has been something that has been bothering us. Personally I think you have devoted too much of your time to this. So, guess what, Quackman. DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE DUCK IS COOKING?!?! [Quackman comes down to the ring with Jimmy who is wearing a hat to cover his face] Shawn: Guess, what Al? That is not Gryphs brother. Hes an actor. [The fake Jimmy takes off his hat] So really you have nothing on Gryphon do you. Alex: How could you do this to me? How could you take my only chance away. Damn you Michaels. [Alex starts to hyperventalate] Shawn: Terrence, I think Mr. DiGiacomo is having a prob. See if hes OK Lefty: TERRENCE JUST NAILED DIGIACOMO WITH A CHAIR!! LISTEN TO THAT CROWD!!! (Cut to the back, where we see Mark Paris sitting in his Corporate locker room. He is wearing a pair of jeans, and looks as if he is about head to ringside) Lombardi: Whoa, what is Paris doing? He is not even dressed for the match. He's just sitting there smiling at this. This has to be a Corporate plan. Terrence: Guess what? We quit. We got 2 words for The Corporation and Mark Paris ... Crowd: SUCK IT!!! (With that, we see Mark Paris emerge from the back and head toward the ring. He jumps up on the apron and calls for a microphone, but Shawn Michaels has the only one.) Shawn: So, Alex Star, Gryphon, with our humble sorrows we would like to join The ACC. (Gryphon, Star, and Campos huddle up in the corner and whisper to each other, while the crowd let's their opinion known) Crowd: YEA!!!!!!!!!! JOIN, JOIN, JOIN... Gryphon: Shawn, DX, I would be honored. [Star, Campos, Michaels, Garvin, Quackman and Gryphon all posture in the ring to huge pop from the crowd. Mark Paris is still hanging back on the apron, and his facial expression is pretty indifferent.] (The six men then stand in the center of the ring, arms raised. From left to right we see Star, Michaels, Quackman, Gryphon, Garvin, and Campos. The crowd pop is deafening. One moment later, and to the shock of everybody, Star clothslines Michaels; while Campos clothslines Garvin to the mat. Gryphon then grabs Quackman and rifles him through the cage door. As The Duck crashes to the floor, Mark Paris just remains on the apron and shrugs his shoulders. The crowd has now done a complete 180, and trash is bangs off of the cage as the bell rings to start the match.) This contest is a cage-no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-six man tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first... Led to the ring by New Jack, 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson and Jessica Carter... At a total combined weight of 1073 pounds... Hardcore Pretty Boys and Gryphon Their opponents... Led to the ring by Alex DiGiacomo, Rufus and Rachel Morris... At a total combined weight of 721 pounds... DX and "The Hardcore Revolutionary" Mark Paris They lock up. Mark Paris grinds Joaquin Campos' face across the cage. Mark Paris takes Joaquin Campos down with a back heel kick. Mark Paris hits Joaquin Campos with a DDT. Mark Paris executes an earringer on Joaquin Campos. Mark Paris goes for a fireman's carry into a neckbreaker, but Joaquin Campos counters it with an eye gouge. Joaquin Campos punches Mark Paris. Joaquin Campos punches Mark Paris. Joaquin Campos goes for an avalanche, but Mark Paris counters it with a kick to the head. Mark Paris grinds Joaquin Campos' face across the cage. Mark Paris hits a back heel kick on Joaquin Campos. Mark Paris whips Joaquin Campos into the turnbuckle. Mark Paris goes for a series of forearm smashes, but Joaquin Campos ducks out of the way. Joaquin Campos hits a backspin DDT on Mark Paris. Joaquin Campos tags out to Gryphon. Lefty: Good, quick teamwork by the ACC...they certainly have that advantage... Lombardi: Yeah...a well working band of young men...just like my boys... Gryphon uses a roundhouse right on Mark Paris. Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a forearm smash. Gryphon is going for the pin. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Gryphon tags out to Joaquin Campos. Joaquin Campos goes for a belly-to-belly suplex, but Mark Paris counters it with a low blow. Mark Paris tags out to Terrance M. Garvin. Terrance M. Garvin nails Joaquin Campos with a Cradle DDT. Carl Westcoat counts: One, kickout. Terrance M. Garvin argues with the fans. Terrance M. Garvin goes for a Cradle DDT, but Joaquin Campos blocks it. Joaquin Campos tags out to Alex Star. Alex Star and Joaquin Campos whip Terrance M. Garvin into the ropes. They hit Terrance M. Garvin with a double clothesline. Joaquin Campos leaves the ring. Alex Star takes Terrance M. Garvin down with a rolling kick. Alex Star grinds Terrance M. Garvin's face across the cage. Alex Star whips Terrance M. Garvin into the turnbuckle. Terrance M. Garvin comes back, but is met with a clothesline. Lefty: Garvin, meet Star's arm. Lombardi: Wow, you're friggin witty... Alex Star whips Terrance M. Garvin into the turnbuckle, but Terrance M. Garvin reverses it. Terrance M. Garvin executes a leaping swinging DDT on Alex Star. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, shoulder up. Terrance M. Garvin goes for a short clothesline, but Alex Star counters it with a belly-to-belly suplex. Alex Star tags out to Gryphon. Mark Paris enters the ring and lays out Alex Star. Mark Paris goes for a football tackle, but Gryphon counters it with a DDT. Alex Star takes Terrance M. Garvin down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Gryphon takes Terrance M. Garvin down with a flying kneedrop. Alex Star executes the Running Forearm Smash on Terrance M. Garvin. Gryphon goes for a back suplex, but Terrance M. Garvin counters it with a go-behind. In turn, Gryphon counters it with a backward kick. Mark Paris enters the ring, but gets cut off. Gryphon and Alex Star whip Terrance M. Garvin into the ropes. They attempt to hit Terrance M. Garvin with a double fist to the midsection, but he counters it with a double clothesline. Mark Paris leaves the ring. Terrance M. Garvin executes a short clothesline on Gryphon. Terrance M. Garvin tags out to Mark Paris. Lefty: HERE WE GO! WORLD TITLE MATCH PREVIEW!! Mark Paris takes Gryphon down with a flying elbowdrop. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Mark Paris grinds Gryphon's face across the cage. Mark Paris goes for a figure-four leglock, but Gryphon blocks it. Gryphon goes for a back heel kick, but Mark Paris ducks out of the way. Mark Paris kicks Gryphon. Mark Paris punches Gryphon. Mark Paris kicks Gryphon. Gryphon chops Mark Paris. Gryphon chops Mark Paris. Gryphon kicks Mark Paris. Mark Paris kicks Gryphon. Gryphon kicks Mark Paris. Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a Hotshot. Gryphon goes for an earringer, but Mark Paris blocks it. Mark Paris nails Gryphon with a series of forearm smashes. Terrance M. Garvin enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Mark Paris and Terrance M. Garvin whip Gryphon into the ropes. They hit Gryphon with a double kick to the midsection. Mark Paris and Terrance M. Garvin hit Gryphon with a double back heel kick. Terrance M. Garvin leaves the ring. Lombardi: Damn...that was good teamwork... Mark Paris runs into the ropes. Mark Paris hits Gryphon with the Running Forearm Smash. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, shoulder up. Mark Paris climbs to the top of the cage. Mark Paris takes Gryphon down with a flying legdrop. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, kickout. Mark Paris whips Gryphon into the ropes. Mark Paris goes for a football tackle, but Gryphon counters it with a kneelift. Gryphon whips Mark Paris into the ropes. Mark Paris misses with a clothesline. Mark Paris misses with an elbow. Gryphon misses with a clothesline. Mark Paris goes for a football tackle, but Gryphon side-steps and Mark Paris only hits air. Gryphon is going for the pin. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, shoulder up. Gryphon goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Mark Paris counters it with a rana. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, shoulder up. Mark Paris goes for the Texas cloverleaf, but Gryphon kicks him off. Mark Paris hits a Cradle DDT on Gryphon. Carl Westcoat counts: One, two, three. The winners are DX and Mark Paris. Time of match: 0:05:29 Lombardi: DX and Paris pull it out...wait a minute... (After the match, Quackman slips back into the ring, and manages to kick Alex Star in the groin. Star falls into a heap, like any man would. The match may have ended, but the fight continues as DX attacks the double-crossing ACC members. Terrance Garvin grabs Joaquin Campos and pokes him in the eyes. As the big Luchador reaches for his eyes, Garvin executes a low blow, then DDTs him to the mat. Meanwhile, Michaels and Gryphon are going toe to toe, with neither man gaining the advantage. The HCPB are still down, so Garvin and Quackers move in to triple team the Heavyweight Champ. After a few seconds, Gryphon is slumped down in the corner. The crowd pops wildly as Shawn Michaels gets in position for a bronco buster. Michaels takes a full sprint, but as he approaches, he is knocked 6 feet back by a garbage can full of weapons. Bats, hockey sticks, a toaster oven, a kendo stick and other objects fly everywhere as New Jack enters the cage. Star and Campos are up now, and a full brawl has erupted.) MEANWHILE ... Mark Paris has quietly slipped out of the cage. He chuckles while walking back to the locker room, while watching his opponent in the Heavyweight Title Match involved in a wild fight. (Alex Star catches the kendo stick in the air, and quickly begins to land shot after shot on Shawn Michaels head. Joaquin Campos picks up the toaster oven and takes a wild swing at Quackman, but the 7 footer's attack harmlessly flies over the 4 footer's head. The Duck quickly locates a frying pan and bashes Campos's knee. Near the cage door, Terrance Garvin and Gryphon have each picked up a hockey stick, and are exchanging shots to the side of the head. Gryphon lands a particularly stiff shot, and his hockey stick breaks into three pieces. Garvin stays on his feet, but is stunned. New Jack notices this and dashes toward Garvin. He executes a MASSIVE football tackle, causing both men fly through the cage door and crash into the guardrail.) (Just then, a SWARM of AGW Security flood the cage in and try to break up this wild fight. The crowd pops as several security men go flying into the cage. Finally, after about a minute, the security manages to seperate DX and the ACC; and escort them back to the locker room ... still screaming at each other as the crowd goes into a frenzy.) Lefty: WHAT A MATCH!! Gryphon has just put his hopes of defending that belt in great danger... Lombardi: Mark Paris is a genius. Get the win and get the hell out. Lefty: Hmmm...seems pretty wussy if you ask me... Lombardi: Well no one asked you, so SHUT YOUR CAKEHOLE! Lefty: I'm sorry sir... Lombardi: That's okay. Kiss my ring. (Lefty sighs, then bends to kiss the ring, only to get bopped in the nose.) Lombardi: BADA BING, BADA BOOM... Lefty: Ugh...now we've got Deathwish, getting a great opportunity at AGW gold, taking on the seven-time Cruiserweight champ, Most Holy...let's get right to it... ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. It is for the AGW Cruiserweight Title. Introducing first... Led to the ring by Susan Blake... Hailing from Death Valley,CA... Weighing in at 220 pounds... Deathwish His opponent... Led to the ring by Zoe Burgess... Hailing from Lawrence, Kansas... Weighing in at 224 pounds... The AGW Cruiserweight Champion... "Bigger than the Pope!!" Most Holy They lock up. Most Holy goes for a DDT, but Deathwish counters it with a low blow. Deathwish kicks Most Holy. Most Holy kicks Deathwish. Deathwish chops Most Holy. Deathwish punches Most Holy. Deathwish punches Most Holy. Most Holy whips Deathwish into the ropes. Most Holy misses with an elbow. Most Holy hits Deathwish with a shoulderblock. Most Holy takes Deathwish down with a flying clothesline. Most Holy catches Deathwish in a grapevine. Deathwish is struggling to reach the ropes. Deathwish is valiantly trying to break the hold. Deathwish tries to fight the pain. Deathwish is barely hanging in there. Deathwish reaches the ropes after being trapped for 42 seconds. Most Holy goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Deathwish counters it with a facerake. Deathwish hits Most Holy with an eye gouge. Deathwish hits a kick to the groin on Most Holy. Deathwish nails Most Holy with a 450 splash. Bowen Murphy counts: One, two, kickout. Lefty: Back and forth...these guys are already landing big moves...the Cruiserweight division is DEFINITELY alive and well... Most Holy begs off. Deathwish leaves the ring. He returns with a chair. Deathwish sets up the chair. Deathwish hits Most Holy with a Hotshot onto the chair. Deathwish whips Most Holy into the ropes. Deathwish nails Most Holy with a thrust kick to the head. Bowen Murphy removes the chair from the ring. Deathwish nails Most Holy with a springboard legdrop. Deathwish executes a brain buster on Most Holy. Deathwish goes for the The Falling Star, but Most Holy counters it with a knee pull-up. Most Holy hits Deathwish with a spinebuster slam. Bowen Murphy counts: One, kickout. Most Holy takes Deathwish down with a kneedrop. Most Holy hits a forearm to the back on Deathwish. Most Holy goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Deathwish counters it with a facerake. Deathwish uses a dragon suplex on Most Holy. Bowen Murphy counts: One, two, shoulder up. Deathwish takes Most Holy down with a brain buster. Deathwish goes for the The Falling Star, but Most Holy counters it with a knee pull-up. Most Holy chops Deathwish. Most Holy kicks Deathwish. Most Holy throws Deathwish out of the ring. Most Holy goes through the ropes. Most Holy is handed a steel chain. Most Holy takes a swing at Deathwish with the steel chain, but he gets out of the way. Deathwish snatches the steel chain from him. Deathwish takes a swing at Most Holy with the steel chain, but he gets out of the way. Most Holy snatches the steel chain from him. Most Holy hits him with the steel chain. Lombardi: Ouch! Folks, that sure don't tickle... Most Holy throws Deathwish back into the ring. Most Holy goes for an elbowdrop, but Deathwish rolls out of the way. Deathwish catches Most Holy in a clawhold. Most Holy is valiantly trying to break the hold. Most Holy reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds. Deathwish hits an enzuigiri to the face on Most Holy. Most Holy begs off. Deathwish executes a Hotshot on Most Holy. Deathwish whips Most Holy into the ropes. Deathwish misses with a kick. Most Holy misses with a clothesline. Deathwish misses with a clothesline. Most Holy misses with a kick. Most Holy hits Deathwish with a clothesline. Most Holy is going for the pin. Bowen Murphy counts: One, two, kickout. Most Holy complains about a slow count. Most Holy leaves the ring. He returns with a beer bottle. Most Holy hits him with the beer bottle. Most Holy puts Deathwish in the STF. Deathwish is struggling to reach the ropes. Deathwish reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Most Holy nails Deathwish with a forearm to the back. Most Holy throws Deathwish out of the ring. Most Holy goes through the ropes. Most Holy executes a spinebuster slam on Deathwish. Most Holy knocks Deathwish into the ringsteps. Most Holy goes for a clothesline, but Deathwish ducks out of the way. Deathwish whips Most Holy into the guardrail. Deathwish executes a jumping elbow thrust on Most Holy. Deathwish runs is thumb across his throut. Deathwish knocks Most Holy into the ringsteps. Deathwish is handed a broom handle. Deathwish hits him with the broom handle. Most Holy is busted wide open. Deathwish reenters the ring. Most Holy follows him back in. Deathwish goes for a brain buster, but Most Holy blocks it. Most Holy uses a chop on Deathwish. Most Holy places Deathwish on the turnbuckle. Most Holy uses a top-rope DDT on Deathwish. Bowen Murphy counts: One, two, shoulder up. Most Holy hits Deathwish with a chop. Most Holy takes Deathwish down with a flying clothesline. Most Holy goes for an armdrag takedown, but Deathwish blocks it. Lombardi: Deathwish looks PISSED...this ain't good... Deathwish hits the T-bone suplex on Most Holy. Most Holy begs off. Deathwish goes for a Death Valley Driver, but Most Holy counters it with a DDT. Most Holy goes for the Holy Roller, but Deathwish counters it with a throw-off. Deathwish kicks Most Holy. Most Holy chops Deathwish. Deathwish punches Most Holy. Deathwish puts Most Holy in a clawhold. Most Holy is valiantly trying to break the hold. Most Holy reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Most Holy begs off. Deathwish executes the The Falling Star on Most Holy. Bowen Murphy counts: One, two, three. The winner is Deathwish. Time of match: 0:08:28 Lefty: AND WE HAVE A NEW CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!! DEATHWISH HAS DEFEATED THE LEGEND, MOST HOLY!!!! Lombardi: Unbelievable...the titles are switching hands pretty quickly tonight... Lefty: Well, we knew that Deathwish was certainly talented, but Most Holy's been so good as of late... Lombardi: Well, yet again, he pulls out an incredible win...of course, all the people here can pull out an incredible win down at my Traveling Casino...we take cash, credit, Visa, Mastercard... Lefty: I knew that was coming. Lombardi: ...even the sun shines on a dog's ass sometimes... Lefty: What a slogan!! Lombardi: ...cause even my decrepid old Grandma can win... Lefty: She sure can...and she can get away with it too... Lombardi: I'd like to remedy that... Lefty: My sweetie...I mean, your mom...said that you can't. Lombardi: Sweetie? Lefty: Um...our next match will be for the Intercontinental Title. The Racist Bastard, 'Aryan' Dan Sexton, takes on the champ, Alex Star. Star already beat Sexton once tonight... Lombardi: Yeah, I hear he's got a new strategy. Lefty: Really, what's that? Lombardi: Well, they told him that Star's part black. Lefty: Uh-oh...let's go to the match... ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. It is for the AGW Intercontinental Title. Introducing first... Hailing from Garrison, New Jersey... Weighing in at 330 pounds... Dan Sexton His opponent... Led to the ring by New Jack, Jessica Carter and 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... Fighting out of Malibu, California... Weighing in at 282 pounds... The AGW Intercontinental Champion... Alex Star They lock up. Alex Star runs into the ropes. Alex Star misses with a shoulderblock. Alex Star hits Dan Sexton with a shoulderblock. Alex Star nails Dan Sexton with a springboard shoulderblock. Alex Star is going for the pin. Charlotte Maxwell counts: One, two, kickout. Alex Star goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Dan Sexton counters it with a belly-to-belly suplex. In turn, Alex Star counters it with a low blow. Alex Star hits Dan Sexton with a springboard shoulderblock. Alex Star is going for the pin. Charlotte Maxwell counts: One, two, shoulder up. Alex Star takes Dan Sexton down with an avalanche. Alex Star gets an armbar submission on Dan Sexton. Dan Sexton tries to escape the hold. Dan Sexton reaches the ropes after being trapped for 15 seconds. Alex Star nails Dan Sexton with a belly-to-belly suplex. Alex Star hits Dan Sexton with a shooting star press. Charlotte Maxwell counts: One, two, kickout. Alex Star takes Dan Sexton down with a springboard shoulderblock. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the ropes, but Dan Sexton reverses it. Dan Sexton hits Alex Star with a kick. Dan Sexton hits Alex Star with a hiptoss. Dan Sexton puts Alex Star in a kneelock submission. Alex Star reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Dan Sexton hits a backbreaker on Alex Star. Dan Sexton hits Alex Star with a flying kneedrop. Dan Sexton is going for the pin. Charlotte Maxwell counts: One, two, Jessica Carter distracts Charlotte Maxwell. Dan Sexton uses a fisherman suplex on Alex Star. There is no referee to count. Dan Sexton whips Alex Star into the ropes. Dan Sexton executes a Gorilla Press on Alex Star. Lefty: Look at the power of Sexton!! Lombardi: You go, you racist jerk! Dan Sexton goes for a power bomb, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star goes for an armbar submission, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton takes Alex Star down with a facerake. Charlotte Maxwell is back on the job. Dan Sexton throws Alex Star out of the ring. Dan Sexton goes through the ropes. They're brawling inside the ring area. Alex Star uses a diamond cutter on Dan Sexton. Alex Star uses the Running Ligerbomb on Dan Sexton. Alex Star executes the Starscream on Dan Sexton on the concrete floor. Dan Sexton is out cold. Alex Star throws Dan Sexton back into the ring. Alex Star hits a dropkick to the groin on Dan Sexton. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the ropes. Dan Sexton hits Alex Star with a kick. Dan Sexton is going for the pin. Charlotte Maxwell counts: One, two, kickout. Dan Sexton hits a legdrop on Alex Star. Alex Star goes for a short lariat, but Dan Sexton blocks it. Dan Sexton hits a bridging back suplex on Alex Star. Charlotte Maxwell counts: One, two, shoulder up. Dan Sexton takes Alex Star down with a powerslam. Charlotte Maxwell counts: One, shoulder up. Dan Sexton hits a lariat on Alex Star. Dan Sexton nails Alex Star with a lariat. Dan Sexton goes for neck-scissors, but Alex Star ducks out of the way. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the turnbuckle. Alex Star goes for a bulldog headlock, but Dan Sexton throws him off. Dan Sexton executes a power bomb on Alex Star. Charlotte Maxwell counts: One, two, shoulder up. Dan Sexton whips Alex Star into the ropes. Alex Star executes a rolling kick on Dan Sexton. Alex Star throws Dan Sexton out of the ring. Alex Star goes through the ropes. Alex Star grabs a chair. Alex Star takes a running start and springs off the chair. Alex Star hits a bulldog headlock on Dan Sexton. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the guardrail. Alex Star takes Dan Sexton down with a flying axhandle. Alex Star uses a splash on Dan Sexton. Alex Star sets up a table. Alex Star sets up Dan Sexton on the table. Alex Star tries to drive Dan Sexton through the table with a DDT, but he blocks it. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson comes from behind, but Dan Sexton nails 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the guardrail. Alex Star nails Dan Sexton with a double arm DDT. Alex Star is handed a Nintendo. Alex Star takes a swing at Dan Sexton with the Nintendo, but he gets out of the way. Lefty: Alex Star is clearly too pretty for Sexton...but he might get caught here... Dan Sexton snatches the Nintendo from him. Dan Sexton takes a swing at Alex Star with the Nintendo, but he gets out of the way. Alex Star snatches the Nintendo from him. Alex Star hits him with the Nintendo. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Alex Star knocks Dan Sexton into the ringsteps. Alex Star sets up Dan Sexton on the table. Alex Star executes a DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. Alex Star hits him with . Lombardi: Wow! That weapon's lethal...whatever the hell it is... Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the guardrail. Alex Star hits a diamond cutter on Dan Sexton. Dan Sexton is busted wide open. Alex Star sets up a table. Alex Star sets up Dan Sexton on the table. Alex Star tries to drive Dan Sexton through the table with a brain buster, but he blocks it. Dan Sexton whips Alex Star into the guardrail. Dan Sexton goes for a fisherman suplex, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the guardrail. Jessica Carter comes from behind, but Dan Sexton nails Jessica Carter. Alex Star nails Dan Sexton with the Running Ligerbomb. Alex Star whips Dan Sexton into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson comes from behind, but Dan Sexton nails 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson. Alex Star sets up Dan Sexton on the table. Alex Star executes a brain buster through the table. The table is broken in half. Alex Star goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Dan Sexton counters it with a belly-to-belly suplex. They're brawling inside the ring area. Dan Sexton goes for a Gorilla Press, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star throws Dan Sexton back into the ring. Alex Star gets a double chickenwing submission on Dan Sexton. Dan Sexton is valiantly trying to break the hold. Dan Sexton tries to escape the hold. Dan Sexton is inching his way towards the ropes. Dan Sexton is writhing in pain. Dan Sexton submits after 12 seconds. The winner is Alex Star. Time of match: 0:09:32 Lefty: And Star retains...though Sexton really put up a fight. Lombardi: Yeah, but he's still a racist. Lefty: Well, whatever the man's personal beliefs are, he put up a good fight...but Star clearly outclassed him... Lombardi: Yeah...he's top tier material...just like me... Lefty: Um...sure... Lombardi: Yeah...just like me...feared by men...adored by women... Lefty: ADORED!! Let's be honest, Eddie, you paid for the women... Lombardi: WHAT DID YOU SAY??? Lefty: It was that pregnant lady over there!! Lombardi: HEY YOU WITCH, WHAT DID YOU SAY?? Lefty: Maybe it's yours... Lombardi: Impossible. I haven't been with her in four months, and everyone knows that it only takes a baby two weeks to hatch from its egg... Lefty: No comment on that one. Judge for yourself, folks. Lombardi: Well, let's just go to our next match. Young upstarts The Heartless Ones are set to take on The Legendary Pretty Boys... Lefty: Well, Gardner lost a title tonight, and Deathwish won one...will the trend continue? Let's go to the ring... ~~~~~ This contest is a no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-tag team match scheduled for one fall. It is for the AGW World Tag Team Titles and the AGW Anything Goes Tag Team Titles. Introducing first... Led to the ring by Susan Blake... At a total combined weight of 548 pounds... The AGW Anything Goes Tag Team Champions... The Heartless Ones Their opponents... At a total combined weight of 579 pounds... The AGW World Tag Team Champions... The Legendary Pretty Boys They lock up. Joshua Gardner nails Skull Ganz with a vertical facebuster. Joshua Gardner goes for the Executive Decision, but Skull Ganz counters it with a small package. Teddy Long counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. Lefty: WOW! It almost ended before it started... Lombardi: Just like what I heard about you...BADA BING... Lefty: Who told you? Your wife? Deathwish enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Skull Ganz and Deathwish whip Joshua Gardner into the ropes. They hit Joshua Gardner with a double elbowsmash. Skull Ganz and Deathwish whip Joshua Gardner into the ropes. They hit Joshua Gardner with a double elbowsmash. Deathwish takes Joshua Gardner down with a short lariat. Skull Ganz hits an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle on Joshua Gardner. Teddy Long counts: One, two, kickout. Deathwish leaves the ring. Skull Ganz hits Joshua Gardner with a kneelift. Skull Ganz nails Joshua Gardner with a flying shoulderblock. Skull Ganz tags out to Deathwish. Deathwish and Skull Ganz whip Joshua Gardner into the ropes. They hit Joshua Gardner with a double clothesline. Skull Ganz leaves the ring. Deathwish takes Joshua Gardner down with a jack-knife power bomb. Teddy Long counts: One, two, kickout. Deathwish whips Joshua Gardner into the ropes, but Joshua Gardner reverses it. Joshua Gardner executes a spinning power bomb on Deathwish. Teddy Long counts: One, two, shoulder up. Joshua Gardner whips Deathwish into the ropes, but Deathwish reverses it. Joshua Gardner goes for a back heel kick, but Deathwish blocks it. Deathwish tags out to Skull Ganz. Deathwish nails Joshua Gardner with a jumping elbow thrust. Skull Ganz uses a back suplex on Joshua Gardner. Deathwish leaves the ring. Skull Ganz goes for a short clothesline, but Joshua Gardner counters it with a Gorilla Press. Joshua Gardner goes for an elbow to the midsection, but Skull Ganz blocks it. Skull Ganz whips Joshua Gardner into the ropes. Joshua Gardner hits Skull Ganz with a shoulderblock. Joshua Gardner is going for the pin. Teddy Long counts: One, kickout. Joshua Gardner executes a vertical facebuster on Skull Ganz. Ricky Thompson enters the ring. Joshua Gardner lifts Skull Ganz up. Ricky Thompson nails Skull Ganz with the Pretty Boy Bash and goes for the pin. Teddy Long counts: One, two, Susan Blake distracts Teddy Long. Lombardi: It almost ends again! These guys are gong all out!! Joshua Gardner attempts to place Skull Ganz on the turnbuckle, but Skull Ganz blocks it. Joshua Gardner tags out to Ricky Thompson. Ricky Thompson and Joshua Gardner whip Skull Ganz into the ropes. They hit Skull Ganz with a double elbowsmash. Joshua Gardner uses the Running Forearm Smash on Skull Ganz. There is no referee to count. Ricky Thompson uses an inverted power bomb on Skull Ganz. Joshua Gardner leaves the ring. Ricky Thompson whips Skull Ganz into the ropes, but Skull Ganz reverses it. Susan Blake trips Ricky Thompson. Teddy Long is still laid out. Skull Ganz tags out to Deathwish. Deathwish and Skull Ganz whip Ricky Thompson into the ropes. They hit Ricky Thompson with a double elbowsmash. Skull Ganz leaves the ring. Deathwish whips Ricky Thompson into the turnbuckle. Deathwish runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Ricky Thompson moves out of the way. Ricky Thompson uses an avalanche on Deathwish. Ricky Thompson goes for a flying shoulderblock, but Susan Blake shoves him off the turnbuckle. Deathwish goes for a Samoan Drop, but Ricky Thompson counters it with an elbowsmash. Ricky Thompson kicks Deathwish. Ricky Thompson hits Deathwish. Ricky Thompson throws Deathwish out of the ring. Ricky Thompson goes through the ropes. Ricky Thompson knocks Deathwish into the ringpost. Ricky Thompson hits Deathwish with a low blow. Lombardi: RADICAL RE-ALIGNMENT!!! That smarts!! Joshua Gardner comes over to make it two-on-one. Ricky Thompson and Joshua Gardner hit Deathwish with a double vertical facebuster. Ricky Thompson whips Deathwish into the guardrail. Joshua Gardner comes over to make it two-on-one. Joshua Gardner nails Deathwish with a Russian legsweep. Joshua Gardner comes over to make it two-on-one. Skull Ganz comes over, but gets cut off. Joshua Gardner goes for an elbow to the midsection, but Deathwish blocks it. Skull Ganz hits a back suplex on Joshua Gardner. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Ricky Thompson comes over and lays out Deathwish. Joshua Gardner whips Skull Ganz into the guardrail. Joshua Gardner knocks Skull Ganz into the ringsteps. Ricky Thompson comes over to make it two-on-one. Susan Blake comes from behind and distracts Joshua Gardner. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Deathwish hits Joshua Gardner with a back heel kick. Skull Ganz nails Joshua Gardner with a back suplex. Skull Ganz nails Joshua Gardner with a flying forearm. Skull Ganz nails Joshua Gardner with a flying shoulderblock. Skull Ganz executes the The Skull Crusher on Joshua Gardner on the concrete floor. Lefty: SKULL CRUSHER!! Gardner is obviously hurt!! Joshua Gardner is out cold. Skull Ganz is handed the 2x4. Skull Ganz hits him with the 2x4. Skull Ganz sets up a table. Skull Ganz sets up Joshua Gardner on the table. Skull Ganz tries to drive Joshua Gardner through the table with a top-rope Death Valley Driver, but he blocks it. Joshua Gardner whips Skull Ganz into the guardrail. Joshua Gardner hits an armdrag takedown on Skull Ganz. Ricky Thompson comes over to make it two-on-one. Joshua Gardner and Ricky Thompson hit Skull Ganz with a double vertical facebuster. Joshua Gardner whips Skull Ganz into the guardrail. Joshua Gardner goes for a football tackle, but Skull Ganz side-steps and Joshua Gardner only hits air. Skull Ganz knocks Joshua Gardner into the ringsteps. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Ricky Thompson comes over, but gets cut off. Deathwish hits Joshua Gardner with a back heel kick. Skull Ganz locks Joshua Gardner in the torture rack. Skull Ganz whips Joshua Gardner into the guardrail. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Deathwish executes a back heel kick on Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz goes for a back suplex, but Joshua Gardner counters it with a go-behind. Joshua Gardner sets up Skull Ganz on the table. Joshua Gardner executes a Tombstone through the table. The table is broken in half. Lefty: He got him back!! These guys are putting it all on the line!! Joshua Gardner whips Skull Ganz into the guardrail. Joshua Gardner goes for a fireman's carry into a neckbreaker, but Skull Ganz counters it with a sunset flip. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Deathwish hits a dropkick from the second rope on Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz goes for the torture rack, but Joshua Gardner blocks it. Joshua Gardner whips Skull Ganz into the guardrail. Ricky Thompson comes over to make it two-on-one. Deathwish comes over, but gets cut off. Ricky Thompson comes over to make it two-on-one. Deathwish comes over and lays out Ricky Thompson. Skull Ganz is handed a cheese grater. Skull Ganz hits him with the cheese grater. Skull Ganz executes a backbreaker on Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz slashes him with a cheese grater. Skull Ganz whips Joshua Gardner into the guardrail. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Ricky Thompson comes over, but gets cut off. Deathwish hits an enzuigiri to the face on Joshua Gardner. Lombardi: Bam! Right in the face...smacked him silly...he showed him how a real man deals with his... Lefty: Grandma? Lombardi: No...his bitch!! Lefty: Same difference... Skull Ganz goes for the torture rack, but Joshua Gardner counters it with a facerake. They're brawling inside the ring area. Joshua Gardner goes for a Russian legsweep, but Skull Ganz counters it with an elbowsmash. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Deathwish nails Joshua Gardner with a back heel kick. Skull Ganz executes a back suplex on Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz executes the The Skull Crusher on Joshua Gardner on the concrete floor. Joshua Gardner is out cold. Susan Blake comes from behind and distracts Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz whips Joshua Gardner into the guardrail. Skull Ganz knocks Joshua Gardner into the ringpost. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Ricky Thompson comes over and lays out Deathwish. Susan Blake comes from behind and distracts Joshua Gardner. Susan Blake comes from behind, but Joshua Gardner nails Susan Blake. Skull Ganz whips Joshua Gardner into the guardrail. Skull Ganz takes Joshua Gardner down with a vertical facebuster. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Deathwish takes Joshua Gardner down with a jumping elbow thrust. Skull Ganz hits a back suplex on Joshua Gardner. Ricky Thompson comes over and lays out Deathwish. Joshua Gardner and Ricky Thompson hit Skull Ganz with a double inverted DDT. Joshua Gardner goes for the Executive Decision, but Skull Ganz counters it with a small package. Skull Ganz is handed the 2x4. Skull Ganz hits him with the 2x4. Skull Ganz whips Joshua Gardner into the guardrail. Skull Ganz nails Joshua Gardner with the T-bone suplex. Skull Ganz throws Joshua Gardner back into the ring. Skull Ganz brings the the 2x4 into the ring. Skull Ganz is going for the pin. There is no referee to count. Teddy Long is back on the job. Teddy Long counts: One, two, Ricky Thompson makes the save. Lefty: He was lucky that the ref was not there...that could have been the match... Joshua Gardner whips Skull Ganz into the turnbuckle, but Skull Ganz reverses it. Skull Ganz hits a headsmash into the turnbuckle on Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz nails Joshua Gardner with a series of punches. Skull Ganz goes for a boot choke, but Joshua Gardner blocks it. Joshua Gardner punches Skull Ganz. Joshua Gardner hits Skull Ganz. Joshua Gardner executes a jawbreaker on Skull Ganz. Joshua Gardner executes an inverted DDT on Skull Ganz. Joshua Gardner is going for the pin. Teddy Long counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. Joshua Gardner executes the Executive Decision on Skull Ganz. Skull Ganz breaks the hold after 5 seconds. Skull Ganz throws Joshua Gardner out of the ring. Skull Ganz goes through the ropes. Deathwish comes over to make it two-on-one. Ricky Thompson comes over, but gets cut off. Deathwish hits a brain buster on Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz takes Joshua Gardner down with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Deathwish executes the Running Forearm Smash on Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz grabs a chair. Skull Ganz takes the chair. Skull Ganz goes for a back suplex, but Joshua Gardner blocks it. Joshua Gardner throws Skull Ganz back into the ring. Joshua Gardner goes for an inverted DDT, but Skull Ganz blocks it. Skull Ganz goes for a leaping swinging DDT, but Joshua Gardner counters it with an atomic drop. Lombardi: Ouch...that one's gonna leave a mark...a very ODD mark... Joshua Gardner throws Skull Ganz out of the ring. Joshua Gardner goes through the ropes. Joshua Gardner sets up a table. Joshua Gardner goes for a fireman's carry into a neckbreaker, but Skull Ganz counters it with an eye gouge. Skull Ganz reenters the ring. Joshua Gardner follows him back in. Skull Ganz uses a flying shoulderblock on Joshua Gardner. Skull Ganz goes for a bodyslam, but Joshua Gardner counters it with a facerake. Joshua Gardner puts Skull Ganz in an achilles tendon hold. Skull Ganz tries to fight the pain. Skull Ganz submits after 9 seconds. The winners are The Legendary Pretty Boys. Time of match: 0:11:29 Lombardi: What a match!! Lefty: THE LEGENDARY PRETTY BOYS RETAIN... Lombardi: Yeah, Gardner took a page out of Ken Shamrock's book... Lefty: Well, the Heartless Ones certainly showed A LOT of heart in this one. Both teams went all out for the win. Lombardi: Yeah, I gotta admit...I'd be happy to have men like that in my organization... Lefty: I bet you would... Lombardi: Hey, I could always replace you... Lefty: Nah, don't do that. Lombardi: I don't wanna...don't make me do it... Lefty: No boss! I'm funny! Lombardi: You're calling yourself funny? What are you, here to amuse me? Lefty: Oh man...this seems like a great time to take a break...we'll be right back with more of the Lethal Lottery! (The men leave, arguing with each other.) VIOLET: Well, Speed and I are back for this one!! SPEED: Well, as much as I hate Star being the Lottery winner, I guess this match has been a long time in coming. VIOLET: Let_s not keep this thing waiting. Everyone in San Antonio is waiting to see what will happen here tonight! ~~~~~ This contest is a non-title-no-DQ-no-countout-no-time-limit-match scheduled for one fall. It is for the AGW World Heavyweight Title. Introducing first... Led to the ring by New Jack, Jessica Carter and 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson... Hailing from Malibu, California... Weighing in at 282 pounds... The AGW Intercontinental Champion... Alex Star His opponent... Led to the ring by Rachel Morris... Fighting out of Cleveland, Ohio... Weighing in at 237 pounds... The AGW World Heavyweight Champion... "The Hardcore Revolutionary" Mark Paris PA SYSTEM: ARE YOU READY?! (The crowd rises to its feet as DX emerges from the back. Shawn Michaels, Terrance Garvin, and Quackman make their way to ringside. Mark Paris and especially Alex Star look uneasy in the ring, and the crowd works itself into a frenzy.) Speed Racer: Well, it looks like Alex Star and the ACC are going to get what they deserves for double crossing the former Corporate Degenerates. Alex Star attacks Mark Paris before the bell. Alex Star places Mark Paris on the turnbuckle. Alex Star goes for a double underhook superplex, but Mark Paris blocks it. Mark Paris throws Alex Star off the turnbuckle. Mark Paris nails Alex Star with a back heel kick. Mark Paris takes Alex Star down with a low blow. Mark Paris executes a series of forearm smashes on Alex Star. Mark Paris throws Alex Star out of the ring. Mark Paris goes through the ropes. Mark Paris knocks Alex Star into the ringsteps. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the guardrail. Mark Paris grabs a chair. Mark Paris sets up the chair. Mark Paris hits a bodyslam onto the chair on Alex Star. VIOLET: Devastating. I don_t even know HOW many matches Star has fought tonight but it_s been SO many. SPEED: Yeah, he needs to WORK for his paycheck. But Mark has not had an easy time either. He_s been in quite a few matches as well. Both these guys are physically spent. Mark Paris knocks Alex Star into the ringsteps. Mark Paris sets up a table. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the guardrail. Mark Paris yells "That's how it's done, kids!". SPEED: Remember that folks! Mark Paris catches Alex Star totally by surprise. Mark Paris goes for the Extreme Measure, but Alex Star counters it with a throw-off. Alex Star executes a Russian legsweep on Mark Paris. Rachel Morris comes from behind and distracts Alex Star. Mark Paris sets up Alex Star on the table. Mark Paris executes a DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. VIOLET: Devastating! SPEED: I think the match is speaking for itself. Mark is more than glad to get his hands on Star. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the guardrail. Mark Paris takes Alex Star down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Mark Paris reenters the ring. Alex Star follows him back in. Mark Paris is going for the pin. Mike Kwolek counts: One, two, kickout. Mark Paris goes for a figure-four leglock, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star takes Mark Paris down with a bulldog headlock. Alex Star kicks Mark Paris. Mark Paris chops Alex Star. Mark Paris hits Alex Star. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the ropes. (As Star bounces off the ropes, Shawn Michaels reaches out and grabs his foot. Star trips, but manages to put his hands up and keep from crashing face first into the mat. The fans pop crazily for this interference, considering what happened between DX and the ACC earlier in the night. Mike Kwolek admonishes Michaels, but he just laughs, crotch chops, and yells out "SUCK IT!") (Just then, DJ Quik's "Reprise Instrumental" blares, and the San Antonio crowd boos, knowing what's coming next. Michaels, Garvin, and Quackman face the ramp and await the ACC members for "round two". However, Gryphon, Joaquin Campos, and New Jack emerge from the crowd and attack the DX members from behind. Gryphon spins Michaels around and drops him with a hard right; while Campos does the same to Garvin. New Jack tries to do the same to Quackman, but The Duck ducks the punch and lands a dropkick to the stomach, causing New Jack to stagger backward. After the initial attack, the six men engage into yet another brawl. Meanwhile, the fight in the ring continues.) Mark Paris puts Alex Star in a Boston crab. Mark Paris lets go after 13 seconds. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the turnbuckle. Mark Paris uses an avalanche on Alex Star. Mark Paris hits a back elbow on Alex Star. Mark Paris attempts to place Alex Star on the turnbuckle, but Alex Star blocks it. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the ropes, but Alex Star reverses it. Mark Paris misses with a clothesline. Alex Star misses with a kick. Mark Paris misses with a shoulderblock. Mark Paris and Alex Star get hit with a double clothesline. Mark Paris hits Alex Star with a Death Valley Driver. Mark Paris gives the sign for the Extreme Measure. Mark Paris executes the Extreme Measure on Alex Star. SPEED: YES!!! It is gonna be over THAT quickly. Alex Star is struggling to reach the ropes. Alex Star reaches the ropes after being trapped for 12 seconds. Mark Paris hits an avalanche on Alex Star. Mark Paris hits a fireman's carry into a neckbreaker on Alex Star. Mark Paris uses an overhead head and arm suplex on Alex Star. SPEED: Mark putting on a wrestling clinic. Where is his energy coming from? VIOLET: Could you be any LESS biased? SPEED: Absolutely NOT!!!!! Mark Paris goes for a Death Valley Driver, but Alex Star counters it with a crucifix. Mike Kwolek counts: One, two, shoulder up. Alex Star uses a dropkick to the groin on Mark Paris. Alex Star whips Mark Paris into the ropes. Alex Star puts Mark Paris in a clawhold. Mark Paris is valiantly trying to break the hold. Mark Paris reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Alex Star places Mark Paris on the turnbuckle. Alex Star takes Mark Paris down with a top-rope power bomb. VIOLET: Huge move by Star. This could be it!! SPEED: Kick out Mark!!! Mike Kwolek counts: One, two, kickout. Alex Star climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Mark Paris nails him in the stomach. Alex Star falls onto the top turnbuckle. Mark Paris throws Alex Star out of the ring. VIOLET: Vicious move by Paris. He pushed Star from the turnbuckle all the way to the conrete floor!!! Mark Paris goes for slingshot rana, but Alex Star moves out of the way. Alex Star throws Mark Paris back into the ring. Alex Star executes a top-rope diamond cutter on Mark Paris. SPEED: NO!!!! Alex Star is going for the pin. Mike Kwolek counts: One, two, kickout. Alex Star whips Mark Paris into the ropes. Mark Paris hits Alex Star with a clothesline. Alex Star falls out of the ring. Mark Paris goes through the ropes. They're brawling inside the ring area. Mark Paris goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Alex Star ducks out of the way. Alex Star knocks Mark Paris into the ringsteps. Alex Star sets up a table. Alex Star knocks Mark Paris into the ringsteps. Alex Star grabs a chair. Alex Star sets up the chair. Alex Star goes for a single arm DDT, but Mark Paris counters it with a small package. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Mark Paris sets up Alex Star on the table. Mark Paris tries to drive Alex Star through the table with the Hardcore Revolution, but he blocks it. Alex Star uses the Running Forearm Smash on Mark Paris. Mark Paris is busted wide open. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson comes from behind and distracts Mark Paris. Alex Star sets up Mark Paris on the table. Alex Star tries to drive Mark Paris through the table with a brain buster, but he blocks it. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the guardrail. Mark Paris hits a backdrop driver on Alex Star. Mark Paris sets up Alex Star on the table. Mark Paris tries to drive Alex Star through the table with the Hardcore Revolution, but he blocks it. Alex Star hits Mark Paris with the Running Ligerbomb. Alex Star sets up Mark Paris on the table. Alex Star executes a double arm DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. SPEED: Damn it Mark!! Don_t let your guard down like that! VIOLET: Come on Speed, he can barely move. Same with Star. Alex Star throws Mark Paris back into the ring. Alex Star is going for the pin. Mike Kwolek counts: One, two, KICKOUT. Mark Paris goes for an overhead head and arm suplex, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star whips Mark Paris into the ropes. Mark Paris hits Alex Star with a shoulderblock. Mark Paris attempts to place Alex Star on the turnbuckle, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star punches the opponent in the windpipe.. SPEED: DQ him!!!! VIOLET: One, that legal and two, there_s no DQ. SPEED: CRAP! Alex Star runs into the ropes. Alex Star misses with a clothesline. Alex Star and Mark Paris get hit with a double clothesline. Alex Star places Mark Paris on the turnbuckle. Alex Star executes a belly-to-belly superplex on Mark Paris. Alex Star places Mark Paris on the turnbuckle. Alex Star uses a top-rope power bomb on Mark Paris. (Speed gets up from the announcers table and stands next to the Corp members at ringside.) Mike Kwolek counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Alex Star runs into the ropes. Alex Star misses with a kick. Alex Star executes an Asai moonsault on Mark Paris. Mike Kwolek counts: One, two, thr... Bill Goldberg distracts Mike Kwolek. VIOLET: The Corporation is pulling out ALL the stops now. Alex Star executes the Starscream on Mark Paris. VIOLET: This should be it, The Corp and the ACC are brawling with DX in the middle!! This is carnage!!! Mark Paris is valiantly trying to break the hold. Mark Paris reaches the ropes after being trapped for 25 seconds. VIOLET: Hey, I admit that Paris had enough to reach the ropes there. Alex Star runs into the ropes. Rachel Morris pulls down the top rope. VIOLET: My cousin gets down and dirty. Mark Paris jumps onto him with a senton. Mark Paris takes a running start and springs off the chair. Mark Paris hits Alex Star with the Hardcore Revolution. Mark Paris knocks Alex Star into the ringsteps. VIOLET: Paris is really handing it to Star now. Mark Paris goes for the Hardcore Revolution, but Alex Star blocks it. Alex Star is handed a cheese grater. Alex Star hits him with the cheese grater. Alex Star sets up a table. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson comes from behind, but Mark Paris nails 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson. VIOLET: Johnson_s distraction allows Star to set up that table!!! Alex Star sets up Mark Paris on the table. Alex Star executes a DDT through the table. The table is broken in half. Alex Star hits Mark Paris with a Russian legsweep. Alex Star whips Mark Paris into the guardrail. Alex Star whips Mark Paris into the guardrail. Alex Star places his foot over his opponent's eye and spins it.. Alex Star knocks Mark Paris into the ringpost. VIOLET: Things are rather bleak for Paris. We could have a new champ any moment now! Alex Star is handed brass knuckles. Alex Star takes a swing at Mark Paris with the knuckles, but he gets out of the way. Mark Paris snatches the knuckles from him. Mark Paris hits him with the knuckles. Mark Paris sets up a table. Mark Paris whips Alex Star into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Alex Star reenters the ring. Mark Paris follows him back in. Mark Paris attempts to place Alex Star on the turnbuckle, but Alex Star blocks it. 'Cameraman' Corey Johnson enters the ring and hits Mark Paris with a chair. VIOLET: Johnson got loose from the brawl and he clocked Mark Paris with that chair. This leads to Speed Racer himself getting in the ring and knocking Johnson down!! Alex Star uses a kick to the groin on Mark Paris. VIOLET: Star with the low blow. He is going to the top rope but is slightly distracted by the owner of the AGW, Speed Racer, brawling with Corey Johnson. Alex Star goes for a Frankensteiner from the top rope, but Mark Paris side-steps and Alex Star only hits air. VIOLET: That distraction may have been enough. Paris with a quick cover. Star really seems to have hurt his back. Mark Paris is going for the pin. Mike Kwolek counts: One, two, thr... kickout. VIOLET: Man, I do not know HOW Star kicked out of that one. Mark Paris executes the Extreme Measure on Alex Star. VIOLET: All the members of both groups are brawling on the outside with Speed and Johnson still in the ring battling each other. Nobody can make the save for Star this time! Alex Star summons one last burst of energy. Alex Star submits after 12 seconds. The winner is Mark Paris. Time of match: 0:12:03 ~~~~ VIOLET: It_s over!! PARIS RETAINS THE WORLD TITLE!!! (As the match ends, the DX and ACC members' street fight spills over into the ring. After a brief battle, the two groups find themselves in opposite corners. Michaels, Garvin, and Quackman on one side; and Gryphon, Campos and New Jack on the other. Both participants in the Heavyweight Title Match are still in the ring, and are very winded after that grueling match. Shawn Michaels and Alex Star somehow end up with microphones...) Shawn Michaels: This isn't over ACC. NOBODY shows up Shawn Michaels in front of his hometown fans!! *crowd EXPLODES* Alex Star: Is that so, boy toy? I thought that we taught you a lesson in the six man cage match, but DX had to come out here and RUIN EVERYTHING! Alright then, your faithful hometown fans will be shocked when the ACC is done with you ... so let's finish this NOW!! (As if on cue, as soon as those words are spoken Shawn Michaels, Quackman, and Terrance Garvin attack Mark Paris! The crowd explodes as the three men pummel Paris with rights, lefts, and kicks. The DUCK kicks Paris right in the shin, then Garvin and Michaels lift Paris up and crotch him on the top rope. Star, Campos, and New Jack then join in on the assault. New Jack and Campos each grab one of Paris' arms and execute a Double Single-arm DDT on him. Paris jams his neck as he crashes to the mat. Alex Star then slaps the Starcream (Lion Tamer) on Paris, further damaging the neck, while Terrance Garvin climbs to the top rope. Garvin flies off and crashes down on Paris with a flying legdrop, causing his neck to bend in a manner that the human anatomy is not designed for. Campos then picks Paris up, who can barely stand by now, and whips him into the ropes while Shawn Michaels gets into position. As Paris staggers off of the ropes, Michaels CLEANS HIS CLOCK by connecting fully with the SWEET CHIN MUSIC. The crowd is on it's feet and the noise level is beyond comprehension. Shawn Michaels then grabs the microphone.) Shawn Michaels: ... ... (motions for the crowd to quiet down a bit) San Antonio, AGW, and especially the Corporation ... Shawn Michaels is BACK!!! *crowd pops* Looks like there's a NEW Sheriff in town, and it's called the DX-ACC Alliance!! Alex Star: (Star and Micheals shake hands, and high fives are occuring all over the ring.) You had one thing right, about tonight, Corporation. This is the beginning of the end. The end of the CORPORATION!! *crowd pops* Terrance Garvin: Let's keep this short and sweet. CORPORATION!! We've got your "MIGHTY" leader right here; and if you've got any GUTS then you'll come out here and try to get him back. And if you don't like it ... we've got two words for ya ... CROWD and EVERYBODY in the ring except Paris: SUCK IT!!! (With that, Joshua Gardner, Ricky Thompson, Brad Steel, Tregoran, Goldberg, and Hybrid run to the ring to rescue their Corporate Champion. The two groups quickly pair off. Steel and Garvin are going at it; New Jack and Goldberg are exchanging rights; Tregoran and Campos are locked up with neither man gaining an advantage; Quackman and Hybrid playing a game of cat and mouse; Star and Michaels are having a mini-war with Gardner and Thompson. Meanwhile, Gryphon quietly slips out of the ring. You can FEEL the noise in the arena as these two groups try to tear each other apart.) (Unfortunately, before any SERIOUS action goes down, no less than THIRTY members of San Antonio's Finest storm the ring and quickly break up this pier sixer. This causes the crowd to EXPLODE into a chorus of Boos. Mark Paris is left in the center of the ring in the prone position. He is semi-conscious and his neck looks a bit out of place.) (Alex Star and Gryphon are pulled away from the brawl and they promptly enter the ring with some mics.) Alex Star: Well San Antonio, what do you think of your champion now? He is seeing as many lights right now as the Iron Fist have in their whole careers. And even those losers are heading for the hills since they can_t beat us. *Suddenly, Vengeance's voice is heard on the PA system* Vengeance: Not exactly, just a vacation. And don't forget the Iron Fist beat your ACC team in the Wargames a month ago. And before we go, we have a score to settle. *Suddenly, Vengeance and Syxx rush up behind Star and Gryphon and beat them to the ground with steel chairs. Vengeance puts Gryphon in the Payback and Syxx puts Star in the Bronco buster. Then Vengeance spits in their face and the two leave.* VIOLET: What MORE can happen? We have Paris, Star and Gryphon all laid out in the ring. The fans are pissed that there isn_t more carnage. These people ARE sick!!! At least, miraculously, Paris and Star are standing up. Gryphon has rolled out to the ring. Could this be the last we see of him? The trash starts to rain down a little harder...small peices of plastic....hundreds of them....one smacks Rachel Morris in the nose.....it's almost a down pour now....the referee runs from the ring....Rachel picks up one of the thousands of little plastic.....Mustard Packets? Losing My Religion starts playing over the speakers, the crowd explodes into a cheer as Most Holy races towards the ring, Zoe a few steps behind him, her boobs threatening to pop out of her dress like fishing bobbers. Most Holy slides into the ring, Paris raises the World Title to hit him but Most Holy instead, picks up Alex Star and chucks him over the top rope. Like two raging bulls, Paris and Most Holy walk towards each other and start to trade knockout punches, Rachel grabs the title from where Paris dropped it but before she can do anything, Zoe is on the ring apron, grabbing Rachels hair and leading her to the corner post and introducing Rachel's forehead into the padding....repeatedly. The crowd roars it's disapproval as Hollywood Fenris races from the back, Zoe turns to see who is coming, she frowns as she sees Fenris, hesitating a moment, Zoe then runs along the ring apron and leaps into the air.....her boobs finally freeing themselves from the confines of her dress...the camera flashes light her silicone enhanced features into slow motion as she soars through the air in an attempted cross body on Fenris. VIOLET: Oh, I bet THAT was Speed_s idea. Or maybe Lawler_s. Unfortunetly, Fenris saw her coming, he turns slightly, trying to avoid Zoe but he misjudges, Zoe comes down on top of Fenris....but doesn't budge him, just stops him in his tracks.....because his head is stuck between her massive hooters.... In the ring, Paris starts to get the best of the punches in, so Most Holy jams a thumb into his eye, grabs Paris's head and plants him down with a DDT, the Mustard packets they land on splattering several rows of the crowd. From the back races Ashe Tre and the Godfather, not more than one step behind them come Dan Sexton and Max Wagner, Goldberg can be seen making his way through the crowd, a few seconds later, Thompson and Gardner race through the curtain, The Messiah Harmonium Ziporath and the Extremist Erik Moon racing to catch them. Tre and Godfather slide into the ring, Dan slides in after them and tackles the Godfather from behind, Most Holy turns to Ashe Tre but Paris jumps to his feet and plants Most Holy down with a German Suplex. Max stops to help Zoe to her feet and starts to kick Fenris, who quickly stands up, towering over Max, Fenris grabs Max and slams him back down with the Fire and the Fury....then turns his attention to Zoe. Fenris backs Zoe up, poking a finger into her shoulder and saying something to her but the mics can't pick it up, Fenris doesn't notice someone coming down the ramp. Zoe suddenly trips over Max Wagner's prone body, falls backwards and lands flat on her back on the concrete. Fenris grins until someone spins him around and he comes face to face with Skull Ganz. Skull whips Fenris into the guardrail, follows it up with a massive clothesline that sends Fenris tumbling backwards over the rail and into the crowd and then Skull gently scoops up Zoe and walks back up the ramp..... In the ring is a massive brawl, Most Holy is back on his feet, fighting his way through the mass of men to get in a few shots at Mark Paris before a member of the Corporation pulls him back, Paris then fights his way through members of the LoS to get in a few shots at Most Holy. Dan Sexton goes after Ashe Tre or Godfather, seeming to avoid everyone else, Ziporath and the Extremist battle back and forth with Thompson and Gardner, Max is back in the ring attacking Goldberg, Fenris is finally crawling back over the guardrail.....Tiffany Jones, Erica Reid, Jenna Jameson, and Rachel Morris are entertaining one side of the arena on the outside of the ring, a massive of bodies wriggling on the floor....groans of pain or ecstacy growing louder... VIOLET: We can_t stay with the satellite feed any longer folks. This has been the AGW Lethal Lottery. I_m Violet Morris saying SO LONG from San Antonio!!!!